I am managing to keep count so far - no mean feat given that I am a) rubbish at counting and b) in considerable horrible dental pain at the moment and having to have horrible dental stuff done but in the meantime the painkillers are helping and fingers crossed it will all be sorted soon...and cheering me on are the results and feedback I've just had for my first lot of course assignments. Am a mix of both well chuffed and heartily relieved as it is many years since I have done anything academic and along with my enjoyment of what I'm doing is external validation and confirmation that I'm on the right tracks....
I've made notes as I've gone along to include in this post but it's proving somewhat difficult to read my handwriting and some of it must have clearly made sense at the time but now in my somewhat painkiller addled state I'm thinking eh? wtf did I mean by that and whilst I have got into a better habit of harvard referencing books in my notebooks and making notes of the page numbers where I've seen the quotes I've not got into that habit on the post it notes that I've started keeping next to the computer that I scribble the ideas on for my blog posts.... I think I shall have to start doing that to.....
So let's crack on with my trying to decipher my notes - I reached a bit of an impasse with my research last week, and decided I hadn't been doing anywhere near enough 'doing' and last Wednesday I looked out at the grey miserable sky and decided that it would be perfect to take some grey miserable photographs along the bridlepath. I really love the physical process of loading my camera - it's a Minolta 7000D given to me by a very lovely and thoughtful chum a couple of years ago as she was no longer using it and she knew I would. It's a perfect mix of fully automatic, part manual and fully manual and I have quite a few lenses for it including a 50mm and a telephoto though these are usually referred to as 'the lowlighty one' and the 'see the whites of their eyes one'. I am not the best at describing technically what I do - but if you were to stand next to me I could show you and explain in non technical terms as I went along.
Anyway like I said I love the physical process of loading it - from the ripping of the cardboard box, the popping of the plastic lid, the slight chemical smell from the film canister, to the satisfying click the back of the camera makes as you open it and load it and then the noise of the motorised wind on mechanism as it advances the film ready for you to use.
I loaded it with colour film - partly because I was given some free but mostly because I thought the colour film (Kodak Colour Plus ISO200) would capture the bleak greyness better than my usual black and white. This is in slight contrast to my usual mantra of 'everything looks better in black and white' which I still believe (and I still prefer monochrome prints) but in this instance colour film will (hopefully) capture the lack of colour better. I don't know if they've come out or not yet as I still need to pick them up from the developers. We can do (I say we - my husband can do colour film in the pop up lab in the garage whilst I make him cups of tea) but the chap in Headingley (The Photo Shop 17a North Lane) does them so much better so I tend to take them to him instead. Plus it is not far from the library so a visit kills two birds with one stone so to speak.
Contradictions are increasingly giving me food for thought - my own that is, but as I've never claimed to be consistent I reckon I can (mostly) get away with it - I'm thinking of contradictions or maybe juxtapositions between what I most agree with or want and what I do - for instance I am a republican but collect royal family memorabilia - all of it is crap but I collect the crappiest of it - and I am especially fond of Charles and Diana wedding mugs - especially ones with photographs taken from newspapers on them so you can still see the black and white pixels. I am an atheist but collect christian religious tat - in the shape of fridge magnets, candles, statuettes, pictures and all that kind of thing. If anyone walked in to my house they could be forgiven for thinking I am a royalist devout roman catholic and yet nothing could be further from the truth....
I am very aware of class as a social issue and am proud of my working class background - in old school marxist terms I have become bourgeois by virtue of my education and yet a lot of the reading I do for pleasure is predominantly about the upper class - the latest being the Fay Weldon Love and Inheritance trilogy and am happiest when watching lovely old black and white british films in which most of the people talk with cut glass accents. But this is something I'm still thinking about so I haven't quite reached any conclusions other than I am a contrary madam...something my Nana used to tell me often when I was little.
One thing I have noticed though is a change in the way I'm doing my research - I much prefer to read a paper book but a lot of the books I'm reading like Puckle's wonderful Funeral Customs (self explanatory title) and George Gissings The Netherworld - a novel from 1889 which features 3 different funerals are more easily available online as pdfs. Sometimes I download them to my husbands kindle thing and sometimes I just read them on the main computer screen. Which is another contradiction in a way - I much prefer old school ways of doing things - paper books, film but am increasingly using the newer types of technology whilst professing to be a luddite. But then I have the enviable and easy position of being married to an early adopter so I can maintain my semi ludditeness whilst still getting the benefit of fast broadband, digital cameras, negative scanners, kindles etc....
I'm making myself concentrate on things on screen though and resisting (mostly) the urge to keep flicking back to Farcebook and Twitter and whilst I still find it difficult and less satisfying than a paper book I'm getting there...
In some ways I feel a bit like Jonny 5 from the film Short Circuit in terms of his constant demand for input as each book I look at like Puckle's Funeral Customs or a paper about the similarities between Dracula and embalmers opens up other wonderful avenues of learning to meander down - namely customs around the dead in Brittany which get lots of mentions in Puckle's book and some seem quite bizarre to my 21st century eyes (like the custom of leaving honey in a room with the deceased so that the fly which appears on the mouth of the dead can then have some honey and so be sustained for its long journey into the afterlife as apparently the fly is the soul) but I lack Jonny 5's eidetic memory and also I need to so some doing to - not just reading.
The quote on my post it note reads ' surreal and unreliable lens of retrospect' and whilst I am heartily in agreement with its sentiment I'm buggered if I can remember where I read it. There is also a note about red cups - I went to see Beyond Clueless at ever wonderful and fabulous Hyde Park Cinema. It's an unusual documentary film made up of clips of teen films most of which I'd never seen (but I have to see Idle Hands which is a film about a teen who chops off his masturbatory right hand and it then develops a murderous masturbatory life of its own) and the director in the Q+A afterwards talked about how when they were showing it in Texas he asked if they could have red cups - red cups being a ubiquitous symbol of alcohol transgressions in american teen films or rather that's how they are perceived over here whereas over there they are so ubiquitous the chap at the cinema said no, it'll just look like we've run out of cups and had to go buy some from the local 7-11. A good example of what looks like one thing to one person looks like something else entirely to someone else....
Along with Beyond Clueless last week I also watched the british version of Hitchcocks Stranger On A Train - it reminded me that I am ever so slightly in love with Farley Granger, in awe of Hitchcock and his wife's consummate film making skill and also just how much their work has influenced my work too - reflections and looking through things are all features of my work too. Plus it also taught me not to go on either Tunnel of Love rides or carousels....
Well the pain from my tooth is getting so much that I need to go and have a lie down - please keep fingers crossed for me that all goes well at the dentist.
The back bedroom is now my studio and workspace - to anyone who saw it before and after this change in purpose it probably doesn't look much different but to me it is and it has definitely taken on the air of 'this is where I work'. I might think of ideas whilst I'm walking somewhere - not in a Dickensian fashion though as the most I do during the week is the 3 miles or so to college and then the 3 miles back - he used to walk 10 miles a day. I'm never without a notebook and pen to write them down in or a phone to write them in though so wherever I am I can make a note. I rarely take pictures here that end up in or as the final pieces of work though I have done some. I usually go elsewhere to actually take the photographs or do the interviews or sit with a bit of embroidery or knitting downstairs but the bulk of the actual thinking and almost all of the research part of the work takes place here.
Instead of the bookcase to my left being full of any old books like it used to - it is now full of books that I'm using either as inspiration or as reference texts ( at lest 6 have 'gothic' emblazoned on their spines and the rest feature all manner of unpleasant victorian history - anatomy act, dissection practices and that kind of thing) notebooks, folders and some fairy lights in the shape of skulls and skeletons which I haven't put up yet.
Next to me on the desk are a pile of notebooks - all labelled in a rare fit of organisation so a quick look at the cover tells me which book is noted within, and I must continue this habit when it comes to photographs so I'm not searching through memory cards or folders of scanned but not labelled negatives and pots with pens in - black fountain pen for writing in my proper old school private paper journal, pencils, biros - mostly black but a couple of red ones and a purple one which I especially like as the ball on it is broad and I like a fat rather than thin version of my handwriting on a page, sellotape, ruler, paintbrushes, emery boards and scissors.
To my right along with my current choice of nail varnish - it's easier to paint my nails whilst reading something online, is a box of books which I have borrowed from the Art School Library - including such delights as Death Becomes Her, The Photograph and a history of Horror Cinema in Britain. In the middle is the computer on an old desk which used to be my husbands - it has two drawers full of old cables, parcel tape, staplers, birthday cards waiting to be picked for the right participant and batteries. The sofa bed behind me has room on it for a cat that likes curling up next to a pile of books - mostly Lucia as Mapp prefers a lair she has built for herself under the bed.
It's probably not the best use of space but it's working for me - this added to my new found resolution of 'do not switch laptop or computer on til dressed and housework done' means I am feeling more productive and on top of things - though I do also feel an amount of 'argh, so much more to do/read/find out about but so little time'...
This morning however I thought I'd try and work downstairs on the laptop - in front of the television and see what it was like. Well it was okay for tinternet fecking and catching up with chums on Twitter and Farcebook and sending letter like emails to chums - I miss proper paper letters and I am lucky that some of my chums still indulge in this old analogue habit but it does lead to problems of a) post being so bloody expensive these days b) post not being as reliable or immediate as a text or as easily referred to as an email and c) what to do with all those pieces of paper and d) what historian or biographer of the future is going to have the patience to wade through someone's twitter feed when at least 99% of it will be to do with cats.....
Whilst it wasn't massively productive it did also give me the wonderful opportunity to watch 3 of my favourite actors in one of my favourite films in the background - namely Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi and Henry Daniell in Val Lewton's adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson's short story 'The Body Snatcher'. This was the real reason for the experiment as it was on the somewhat bizarrely named and misspelt Movies4Men channel.
I think I first saw this fabulously grim film on my trusty portable b+w telly you tuned in a by a dial and it is wonderful - as are all of Val Lewton's 'horror' films that he made for RKO. I Walked With A Zombie is a special favourite of mine. I have this film on dvd too but it would have felt too unlike work to put it on and try and work with it - but it did feel okay to give it a go whilst it was on in the background.
I also watched Strangers On A Train last night - the british version of Hitchcock's classic from 1951 which was in turn based on Patricia Highsmith's novel of the same name. Watching it confirmed for me that I am ever so slightly in love with Farley Granger and completely in love with Hitchcock's work - he and his wife Alma made some of the finest films ever. And looking at his black and white films in particular with their fantastic reflections and images within images makes me realise just how much of a subconscious influence they have had upon my own work.
Which is a roundabout way of catching up with my thoughts on week 2 - which comprised of a very interesting and dynamic presentation by Amber Smith about her work with printing and the Leeds Print Festival (full details of the festival you can find here) and then a look at the theoretical perspectives which inform artists work. We looked primarily at feminist theory and the work of Mary Kelley which was very interesting and thought provoking (my first thought being I wonder if that is her real name or an assumed name as the name Mary Kelley makes me think immediately of her being the last known/presumed victim of Jack the Ripper and the fabulous song by the Scary Bitches which you can listen to here) and other artists like Judy Chicago, Lyn Malcolm, Barbara Kruger and the marvellously named Gueriila Girls.
We've been asked to think of what theoretical perspectives inform our work. I have quite a bit of research to do on this but my first thoughts are:
my work is feminist - because I am a feminist and I make it. So consciously or subconsciously those values inform my work. As an aside I HATE how feminist seems to have become a perjorative insult though.
Then I had a very productive and thought provoking tutorial - got to read me lots about object theory, consumer culture, collecting and that kind of thing. Wish me luck as that's the kind of thing that can make my brain bleed....
I also need to narrow down my work plans for the next few weeks as this term is about handing in pieces of work - they don't have to be finished but that means my memorial pieces need to be a bit more started than they are but I do have a couple of things that are already started on which I need to do more on...but in the meantime it's far too cold to go out and I have lots of lovely books I can sit inside in the warm and read whilst sipping a cup of tea.
I must also get to work on my next piece for the Unofficial Britain website who I was asked to write for - my first piece is a reworked post about my love of Sooty and Sweep or rather Sweep as Sooty gets on my nerves, and imagine my delight when on Friday morning I discovered that the Official Sooty and Sweep on Twitter had retweeted it to their 3,907 followers - this cheered me enormously as it means I am clearly not the only person that loves them!!! plus I feel it has been given the official Sooty and Sweep stamp of approval and that makes me feel good. You can read the article here
The other thing making me feel good is the thought that one of the girl guides I gave a talk before xmas about victorian funeral customs is still saying how much she enjoyed it and I'm going to do a reading list for her - spreading the love of victorian death culture makes me very happy indeed :-)
Other things making me feel good are the Leeds Roller Dolls exhibition at Inkwell (details here) which I went to the opening of on Friday night. I really enjoyed it as Inkwell has much more of a welcoming atmosphere than some art spaces and it was a delight to see actual drawings done directly on the walls behind some smaller drawings as well as paintings, videos and embroidered pieces. Roller Derby seems like such a vibrant, strong, empowering scene and this came across well in the artwork. I especially liked the drawing directly on the walls - not just because I liked the images but also because it seemed so delightfully transgressive somehow - to draw on walls, an admonition not to being the cry of most parents in the land.
But before I forget I must write this quote from Tama Janowitz's Slaves Of New York 1986 UK Picador page 26:
The place was fantastic, it held the sediment of many lives:
This screamed out at me as it just sums up for me why I love history, historical research, secondhand things and old places. She's actually describing an apartment which is available for rent and when she goes back to rent it - all of the gilt ceilings, mouldings, layers of paint and puzzle parquet floor have been ripped out!! I shared the characters feeling of being gutted - I'm no fan of that kind of thing and it's just as well as the house is slowly but surely turning into a museum as though sadly it no longer has its original 1940's doors and mouldings - it still has its 1970's polystyrene ceiling tiles, kitchen and bathroom and they'll be worthy of a museum soon.
Plus the book itself is browned and musty with age - I borrowed it some many years ago from the ex partner of the person who originally bought the book and whose name and date of purchase is in the front. It has been chewed a bit round the edges by the dog they had at the time who has been dead for a good few years - you just don't get that kind of history or backstory with an e-book do you? or do you - I rarely download books so I don't know. I'd be happy if you were to tell me otherwise :-)
Last week was the first week of the new term but alas thanks to lurgy I didn't make it into college for the first week of term. I managed to avoid lurgy over the festive season - both me and my husband remarked on how it was our first lurgy free xmas in quite a few years but lurgy caught up with me last week, thankfully it seems to have been relatively shortlived so all being well I should be back in this week and back on full MA-ness duties....
The relief of handing in assignments (with time to spare as opposed to frantically trying to get stuff finished - the undergraduate me would be demanding to know who has stolen me and where the real ladylugosi was) was almost immediately tinged with various shades of doubt afterwards - along the lines of 'but what if I'd completely misunderstood the brief, what if the files corrupted - no worry there as I'd printed it out too..., what if in spite of my best efforts to get to grips with Harvard Referencing I'd made a complete dogs arse of it and last but not least the worry of 'what if it just wasn't clever/good enough?'
Oh well at least the answer to the last question should be solved by the end of the month and the next lot of fees have been paid so I'll either be due a refund or I'm all right for the next few weeks at least.....
I did take some photos over the festive period - mostly black and white in the woods, some of them I'm pleased with, some of them are okay and a couple might form the basis of a more physical piece of work, but I am very pleased with some colour (albeit washed out as opposed to dayglo and by dayglo I mean ordinary colour really but it's virtually dayglo for me such is my love and ordinary insistence upon monochrome) ones I took at Temple Newsam of dead and dying flowers - because hey if you're going to work a cliche then you may as well work a cliche to the max....
I've also been doing some more research - also hope to visit a couple of archives soon, proposed visits had to be cancelled due to lurgyness so they're on my to do list to re-arrange and I enjoyed reading a paper about the similarities between the character of Dracula and embalmers (which you can read here) and the bibliography for this paper has lead me to the very wonderful Funeral Customs by Bertram S Puckle which you can read or download here which I am still in the process of reading - am about halfway through. The book shows its age but it is also very thought provoking and is giving me both lots of ideas to toy with and to try and create something from....
If I've understood the brief for this term - this term is more about the doing than the reading about how to do the doing - if that makes sense. Oh well I'll find out later this week......
One of my other fields of interest is ye oldy worldy secondhand postcards and in a shop called Treasure Hunt in Whitby whilst I was there for the Goth Festival I found this charming xmas card - it doesn't look especially xmassy by todays standards as it has no baubles, glitter, snow, trees, cats in snow or santa hats or any of the other familiar xmas symbols but it does have two lovely crinolined and bonnetted ladies one of whom is giving the other a bouquet. And maybe the fir trees either side of them could be considered vaguely xmassy but I think that might be stretching it.
I'm not sure when this is from though brief tinternet research tells me that they were active as a company from 1895 til 1976 if the archive of their wages book held in the National Archive is a true reflection of their trading. For some reason I'm thinking 1930's though I could be completely wrong.
Inside the dedication is signed in biro and I think it says 'from E Foxon to Malcolm' - that's it, no kisses or any other details, I wonder who Malcolm was, what his relationship to E (and what did the E stand for?) was, whether the card came in an envelope and whether they had a lurgy free xmas?
