tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71407919087137572422024-03-05T19:40:06.775-08:00ladylugosiladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.comBlogger193125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-81995346515082627862022-10-03T11:09:00.001-07:002022-10-03T11:12:56.943-07:00Exhibition Details, Thanks and Thoughts <p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /><br /></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEH1_T5db2HXWMhhOFDrMYL7OL-hXallU0htU3cj8erslCCpfZOFEyMA9yDip6O45EbulNSWps5DWRfRKBRL49Bjf8fQunPeO5jwqzWZGm31gi7g6V1AlV9_7jI0S_t-uHGrlO7pD4qD_86MtrlX2y-3NB_-b-JHh2TpsdCUxYr5TtpiY_YfBy7MKC/s3776/P1120473.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2520" data-original-width="3776" height="429" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEH1_T5db2HXWMhhOFDrMYL7OL-hXallU0htU3cj8erslCCpfZOFEyMA9yDip6O45EbulNSWps5DWRfRKBRL49Bjf8fQunPeO5jwqzWZGm31gi7g6V1AlV9_7jI0S_t-uHGrlO7pD4qD_86MtrlX2y-3NB_-b-JHh2TpsdCUxYr5TtpiY_YfBy7MKC/w640-h429/P1120473.JPG" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">The Chapel St George's Field, Springtime <br />Turmeric anthotype made from 35mm film image 4x6 inches </span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br />I've just put the last coat of varnish on the last matte medium image transfer I've made for this exhibition - which opens a week on Wednesday and you can find all the details for it <a href="https://www.leeds-art.ac.uk/news-events/events-exhibitions/the-river-never-tires-but-waits-in-patience-for-new-and-returning-believers/?fbclid=IwAR38vcRBcu-KbX6vGq3AiKnAuMoIaQnb5UJ8d_f2NR3qkaEKZis2PSnilwk" target="_blank">here:</a><br /><br /> I'm both excited and nervous about it as well as really looking forward to it. It's the culmination of a lot of hard work which has been both really challenging and really rewarding too. <br /><br />I've spent the last six months working primarily on this project. I'm really glad that I put together a proposal and that it was accepted - in part because it's helped lay the ghosts of deciding not to continue my PhD studies at Huddersfield Uni in September 2019 with all the sadness and confidence knocking that entailed but mostly because it's given me a new focus (no photographic pun intended) and new impetus to continue with my research albeit for the time being in a different format. It's proof of the adage by Alexander Den Heijer 'when a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower'. <br /><br />I have found the last six months a massive challenge - from the basic mental challenge of dealing with the anxiety of being in enclosed spaces with other people again having mostly avoided them during the last couple of pandemic years, to the mental challenge of getting my head round having the confidence to try again in an academic environment, the mental challenge of reading some dense and intense theory as well as the practical challenges of a longish walk to college (as yet despite my gratefully received booster jabs I still cannot face the enclosed space of public transport) learning new techniques and then trying to put all of the above together to be able to talk about my work with others, create new work and re-evaluate older work as well as write and deliver presentations, the latter being something I used to do with some regularity but which I hadn't done since February 2021. That really helped my concentrate my thinking and get it together. <br /><br />As well as feeling like I have refound my voice I have also fallen in love with making turmeric anthotypes and all their tricksy idiosyncratic fading impermanent ways. <br /><br />Along with new ways of making work I've also learnt new ways of thinking and writing about it and I've made new connections and re-established some old ones too. Leeds College of Art as was now Leeds Arts Uni remains one of my happy places and I am very grateful to have had the opportunity of being there again after doing my MA in Creative Practice there in 2014-2016.<br /><br />I am very grateful to the leaders on this project at the college Professor Sam Broadhead and Curator Marianne Tsionki and her team, Henry for sorting out some printing issues for me, my aces challenging and supportive mentor Lauren Saunders whose work you can find out about <a href="https://laurensaundersart.co.uk/" target="_blank">here:</a> and my fellow project artists Hafifa Ahmed, Ingrid Bale, Hana Lait and Carol Sowden for their support, patience, humour and hard work. Thanks also to the library staff who helped me a lot too. <br /><br />Thanks are also due to my lovely supportive 'Man Ray people'* Penny, Jon, and Louise who proofread things for me and gave me feedback and last but not least to my husband for providing support and for putting up with the kitchen being taken over to make anthotypes, work drying in the bathroom and all the disruption that entails. <br /><br />So come on down if you can - I'll also post again with some more pictures of the work on show so if you can't get there in person you can get some idea of what there is to see there. <br /><br />* May Ray once said '</span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">You
don’t need a huge audience, you only need 5 or 6 people who care and support
you, don’t worry regarding idealism and practicality. Try to get paid for what
you do but don’t worry if you don’t. Just keep on working, you’ll make up for
it in time.'</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /> </span></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-19254933786444635992022-08-18T09:55:00.000-07:002022-08-18T09:55:35.985-07:00Concentration, Experimentation and Play <p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifZ6j0afm6HIMxpcq0P9kI5Y9LAxs_fRCHUH8Eod9o2bpEVx9FVVqtlYYlz5CVY1iFgmrj7HWYJyWxuZvnPN14Vc8Y87_bjw8XXdI5fSc36ztD-Zhy18dV8jgML7RH8reKzELxAFwJLhyldeA5gmMCSJSt7lwl79uD1rIIJZ0gGrqjgi7zCcdHbVoK/s3648/P1220279.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifZ6j0afm6HIMxpcq0P9kI5Y9LAxs_fRCHUH8Eod9o2bpEVx9FVVqtlYYlz5CVY1iFgmrj7HWYJyWxuZvnPN14Vc8Y87_bjw8XXdI5fSc36ztD-Zhy18dV8jgML7RH8reKzELxAFwJLhyldeA5gmMCSJSt7lwl79uD1rIIJZ0gGrqjgi7zCcdHbVoK/s320/P1220279.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">My current project notebooks - one is for making notes about the books I'm reading (the one pictures is one of them and it's an interesting and difficult read) and one is for to do lists, planning and thinking things out and the most recent knitted creature I've made - knitting is one of the things that I do that helps me dampen down the feelings/symptoms of anxiety that I experience every day. </span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaOD2nn3L6AmREvmLkDt8qIOfOObkp_t6M6vFeBQKGhbpdWJ-lmtAlJX44DoGhjdLrLDD9yO02ryhz5MUvHcuhrgKT4rH3yMX18hLjB35KEqzvpdrGG3ik0-iScAzfa6ITlXAZvNFKx4Ykb28X8SEk-0qGF1ULrenh1vDseZyBxSaaTJp1-L2emllN/s3648/P1220257.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaOD2nn3L6AmREvmLkDt8qIOfOObkp_t6M6vFeBQKGhbpdWJ-lmtAlJX44DoGhjdLrLDD9yO02ryhz5MUvHcuhrgKT4rH3yMX18hLjB35KEqzvpdrGG3ik0-iScAzfa6ITlXAZvNFKx4Ykb28X8SEk-0qGF1ULrenh1vDseZyBxSaaTJp1-L2emllN/s320/P1220257.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Practice lumen prints using acetate negatives and 4 different kinds of paper (see image below) in the back window - I took advantage of the recent very hot sunshine to do some experimentation and I'm pleased with the results and got some usuable prints as well as ideas for how to make them better next time I make some. Mapp (who can be seen in shadow towards the top of the image in shadow) very kindly let me have her one of her beds for a bit as the direct sun was too fierce even for her and she retreated behind the curtain with just a bit of a back leg catching some rays. </span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJNJ9A7FPPry8b0GkjX2DdT2U6ERd4NhvRwj-P98fnfa2HLgKd7Is2vtVpVC9jaZ3A9hMV8NfrDKvqS0gLTaeoagS9fvWpzud9vOzui_SygXQOtnArs2BGo1r-aExhdT7ntfX39EW_9LMXP82NcAQbls1Tp2uS2kW2LKvmxZfsflHIXn1lJRoHFcO0/s3648/P1220267.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJNJ9A7FPPry8b0GkjX2DdT2U6ERd4NhvRwj-P98fnfa2HLgKd7Is2vtVpVC9jaZ3A9hMV8NfrDKvqS0gLTaeoagS9fvWpzud9vOzui_SygXQOtnArs2BGo1r-aExhdT7ntfX39EW_9LMXP82NcAQbls1Tp2uS2kW2LKvmxZfsflHIXn1lJRoHFcO0/s320/P1220267.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">4 different kinds of paper I'm currently using - some very old indeed, the AGFA Brovira in the orange packet is well over 40 years old and was a gift from a friend when sorting out the contents of what had been her fathers darkroom - I am very honoured and privileged to have been given such precious material and I use it sparingly as it is so finite and irreplaceable. I'm not sure how old the Kentmere paper is but it's old though Kentmere Paper is still available and still in production. As are the Ilford papers - the big box of Ilford is probably around 20 years old, the smaller pack of Ilford is only(!) 8 years old as I got it when I did a Photography evening class back at was then called Leeds College of Art in 2014. Sadly the same place is now called Leeds Arts Uni but it doesn't offer evening classes anymore which I think is a great shame. I think evening classes are a great way to make higher educational establishments seem a bit less intimidating and as a prospective student they're also a good opportunity to experience an institution as it actually operates on a day to day basis and not an open day best behaviour say anything to get your cash basis.</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilxkpnjAYkjDAl1_59V8x2kG0vQy9jXrOPSxXujqMjps9fJ4KhscrmjSQUqVg39v1zmfAMgYUy5cNVY1jNHX10bp-RIyXcGnUUGcrmAKzeTTFklSwoRlMwDtSUCRQcFeWjcrUR1DUimto78ojhYefnwgTyaYg86vnZHLn6D5FRQZ4CAxjmb81-IDYI/s3107/to%20email%20to%20toby.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2246" data-original-width="3107" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilxkpnjAYkjDAl1_59V8x2kG0vQy9jXrOPSxXujqMjps9fJ4KhscrmjSQUqVg39v1zmfAMgYUy5cNVY1jNHX10bp-RIyXcGnUUGcrmAKzeTTFklSwoRlMwDtSUCRQcFeWjcrUR1DUimto78ojhYefnwgTyaYg86vnZHLn6D5FRQZ4CAxjmb81-IDYI/s320/to%20email%20to%20toby.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Some of the knitted things I've been working on over the past few weeks - as you can probably tell I am fond of variegated wool that makes its own kind of stripes and patterns and the little plain green and black striped creature in the middle at the back went to a new home earlier this week. <br />I'll keep and use the dishcloth myself (it has an outline of a skull and crossbones on it) and the other creatures and the booties will be going to chums/family members as presents. <br /><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Concentration, Experimentation and Play might sound like they could be Emerson Lake and Palmer's troubled grandchildren but they are in fact the things I've been focusing on and at times struggling with the past few weeks. The extreme heat of the last week put a massive dent in my productivity as despite my best efforts to not be affected by it made me feel quite sick and also really sluggish which in turn is not helped by not being able to sleep very well when it's that hot. So I am very grateful the extreme heat has passed for the time being and I hope it doesn't return but I fear it will and I also fear instead of being unusual it's going to become the norm. <br /><br />I found the heat as disorientating and anxiety provoking as the first lockdown in some ways - at least then I could leave the house for some exercise each day at whatever time I fancied but the heat meant that I either didn't leave the house or went for a walk really early in the morning before it got so fiercely hot that I felt like I was breathing soup. YUCK. <br /><br />I did some reading but I found it very difficult to concentrate properly once it got past 11am and then all I could manage was flopping on the sofa sipping cold water and feeling hemmed in by heat, closed curtains and the fear that climate chaos is here and as an an individual there is relatively little you can do to combat it - it needs concerted government action and cooperation between governments but sadly given the dickwads that are in charge in this country at the moment that seems pie in the sky thinking. But onto cheerier things... <br /><br />It's about six weeks since I last wrote and 'blog post' has been on my to do list for a at least 3 of those weeks and this morning while ideas and to do lists and project aims and deadlines were swirling round my head I made 'blog post' top of my to do list as it helps me formulate my thoughts and get a much better idea of what I want and need to do next. <br /><br />Top of the to do list is 'finish writing artist statement and bio' closely followed by check on state of work at St George's Field - I find writing statements and bios really difficult. I've tried to work out why I find it so hard and I think it's a mix of factors:<br /><br />One factor being that it is hard - especially when trying to break down processes that to me feel more intuitive than theory and process driven even when theory and process are a big part of them. Another factor is that I think language can be a really big barrier to participation so getting the language right to describe things is hard and it also has to be audience specific and I also don't want to come across as either stupid or pretentious. Negative experiences in connection with things I've written in the past don't help either and I have to take concerted action sometimes not to let those specific incidences inhibit me.<br /><br />In addition to those factors it's also been my experience that women are socialised not to draw attention to themselves in intellectual ways and I got teased at school for doing so. Plus my strict roman catholic upbringing taught me that talking positively about yourself is akin to pride and so a sin. To be fair though - a roman catholic upbringing teaches you that almost anything and everything is a sin in some way. <br /><br />Another thing that I think is a factor is that I come from a working class background that had comparatively little in the way of cultural capital, I never set foot inside an art gallery or a theatre (other than for a couple of trips to pantomines at xmas) until I was in my late teens and despite the evidence of having a Masters in Creative Practice and being a practising photographic artist and researcher in some way and showing work for almost twenty years now I still suffer from imposter syndrome in part because I was not brought up to feel creative and higher education spaces were spaces I could easily go into or be in and feel at home in. <br /><br />Imposter syndrome is an absolute arse as is anxiety as is the class system in this country but being able to recognise them for what they are and so be able to try and do something about them is a kind of forewarned and so forearmed defence against them and education is a way of combating it even though it also in some ways helps enable it - as there will always be something I don't know or understand but then that is the joy of learning. <br /><br />So one of the ways I'm trying to find it easier to write is to think of it as actively rebelling against my upbringing. Recognising why I find it difficult makes it a little easier to tackle though at times it still feels like the equivalent of pulling teeth but I've always been attracted to rebellion so thinking of it in those terms makes it just that little bit easier...<br /><br />It's been 7 weeks since I left work (4 matte medium image transfers - two on fabric and two on canvas) there and my aim is to recover those pieces next week so they will have been there 8 weeks. I 've done it with the aim of collaborating somehow with the space which the artist Stephen Gill so beautifully describes as the hope that 'maybe the spirit of the place can also make its mark'. <br /><br />I hope the environment has made an impression on the matte medium image transfers I left there and I also hope that they have not been carried off by anyone or anything, but that would also be interesting - as long as they've not just been thrown in a bin as that would make me sad but t<span style="text-align: center;">hat's the gamble you take when leaving work somewhere for any length of time. <br /></span><br />In terms of play - I've been playing with inverting colours on images using GIMP photo manipulation software. It's free and open source unlike Photoshop which I am lucky to also have but which I find almost impossible to use. I find Photoshop really unuser friendly and not intuitive at all. But the photosoftware I use most of all is that which comes with the Microsoft Windows operating system as I find that so simple to use and it does the things I want. <br /><br />I've found this blog post really difficult to write but it has helped me organise my thoughts and find a way through to attack my to do list with renewed energy and vigour. The deadline for getting work ready for the exhibition at Leeds Art Uni is getting closer each day and though I have done a lot I still have lots to do.<br /><br />So please wish me luck in sustaining that effort and thank you for reading. <br /><br /><br /><span style="text-align: center;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /> </span></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-87469139512410877652022-07-05T09:45:00.004-07:002022-07-05T09:46:42.389-07:00Anxiety, The 4 'R's, Making and Doing And That Kind Of Thing <p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHaGSK_CB4S6wBSgxb7Wc9QknXe68Kb4q-I4HTXiy9dM1CthVaLtxseHvoL6y-Jwg-F4Ys-KkhXehu5GwxXbRL-BZw-UpIT6zYO3JTjcWOqmczpXwsiPpx49TmcYAnTjP4RKcB2kmQy3rB7lvnY4rNSyeuiHMqsT3_Yi9ey6IjIVlRT-pEy_6rbPUE/s3648/P1210985.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHaGSK_CB4S6wBSgxb7Wc9QknXe68Kb4q-I4HTXiy9dM1CthVaLtxseHvoL6y-Jwg-F4Ys-KkhXehu5GwxXbRL-BZw-UpIT6zYO3JTjcWOqmczpXwsiPpx49TmcYAnTjP4RKcB2kmQy3rB7lvnY4rNSyeuiHMqsT3_Yi9ey6IjIVlRT-pEy_6rbPUE/s320/P1210985.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br />From right to left - journal (a thin exercise style book I write in using my posh fountain pen every few days or so) appointment diary that I write all my appointments and a brief outline of what I've been up to - journal is more for how working out how I'm feeling about things, pink book is my 'commonplace book' that I write uplifting or insightful or helpful quotes in, techniques for helping feel less panicky - so it's primarily to do with my mental health and what I can do/read/think about to help stop anxiety completely taking over, the coffin stickers were a present from a friend.<br /> I have been putting them on all sorts of things... <br />Commonplace books were especially the habit of middle and upper class women in the Victorian era where they were used to write down inspiring quotes, copies of poems, recipe ideas and that kind of thing. It pleases me to be carrying on a Victorian era habit - as well as helping me to better appreciate and reinforce new ways of thinking.<br /><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijGBNWEyzGsCjwnObMTW6L0ha2tyG9BHpj43HlbjVLp_8OmtO3pJiJs2Np9sI9dU-h-XwUa9-KfZX54PLThDFrDexmOAozUnXS-hrY5vciBo7UOubwHIYCuhgYjPb37zmyimPjsc6XVG0AX7r6xJrObsKfRxXUcB9PySXm1-YKkW_aWwne19zCqudg/s3648/P1210984.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijGBNWEyzGsCjwnObMTW6L0ha2tyG9BHpj43HlbjVLp_8OmtO3pJiJs2Np9sI9dU-h-XwUa9-KfZX54PLThDFrDexmOAozUnXS-hrY5vciBo7UOubwHIYCuhgYjPb37zmyimPjsc6XVG0AX7r6xJrObsKfRxXUcB9PySXm1-YKkW_aWwne19zCqudg/s320/P1210984.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br />Sample of some of the books I'm reading at the moment for the research project I'm part of at Leeds Arts University, along with the notebook (also with a coffin sticker so on brand) - some of these books are my own, some on loan from the Arts Uni library and some from council run Leeds Library Services<br /> <br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4VR_zbEE9eKDei8DGuQPdB5WG-TyU5e_xgpUy5et8LwTPQQC86t3YCEST28DasCIePW0Arw3ve-mJnhdc8DpnyEloIGZCO9EELM5ZscaLqBdjRFTcb1l0DGiDpFALivku5lPl5ZBewwTAMmgRlIh7is0fICu2qIwGexSBobl36XQG6ky32DQLQXz9/s3648/P1210983.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4VR_zbEE9eKDei8DGuQPdB5WG-TyU5e_xgpUy5et8LwTPQQC86t3YCEST28DasCIePW0Arw3ve-mJnhdc8DpnyEloIGZCO9EELM5ZscaLqBdjRFTcb1l0DGiDpFALivku5lPl5ZBewwTAMmgRlIh7is0fICu2qIwGexSBobl36XQG6ky32DQLQXz9/s320/P1210983.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">My current post it note, big project notebook, blank post it notes, melon topped paperclip and a big chunky pen. As you may have noticed I am a sucker for a notebook and a lovely pen to write with.<br /><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">I last updated this blog in March 2022 and it's been on my to do list to update it again but for various reasons I have been finding it difficult to get round to doing it. <br /><br />Partly because sometimes I find it too difficult to find/create/maintain the headspace in order to be able to properly marshall my thoughts and express them. Anxiety is frankly a f**ker so some days going for a walk and distracting myself in a novel or a lovely old black and white film is a better way of keeping the anxiety weasels at bay and also mainly because in March I applied to be part of the aforementioned research project at Leeds Arts Uni (what was Leeds College of Art and will always be 'the college' to me) and I have been mostly focusing on that. <br /><br />One of the things I am finding so anxiety provoking is the reality that the pandemic is nowhere near over - despite so many people and our shitshow of a corrupt and morally bankrupt government behaving as if it was. I am still finding it difficult to be indoors with others unless I'm in a well ventilated room with easy access to the door and the thought of public transport and the inability to choose who you sit next to, how close or rather how far you sit from them frankly brings me out in hives. <br /><br />I was never very comfortable being in busy cramped noisy indoor spaces jammed up too close for comfort with others and all Covid has done has add another layer of extreme discomfort and anxiety to the discomfort and anxiety I was already feeling. I am tremendously grateful that mostly I do not have to leave the house unless I choose to and that I can choose where and how I go as well. I am going out a lot more than I did but I still choose times when it's likely to be quietest and I'll be able to keep a decent distance from others otherwise my anxiety is so strong (no matter what actions I take to stop it) that it completely detracts from and ruins whatever it is I'm trying to enjoy. <br /><br />Panic attacks are no fun - either for the person having them or the people around the person having one and when I do have one it takes me a long time to come back down from them and start to feel vaguely normal again. I find breathing and counting and getting away from the stimulus causing the feelings of panic the best thing to do along with beta blockers that help with the physical symptoms. And a look at my beloved Hacker T Dog, Spongebob or Count Arthur Strong will make me laugh, make me smile or if things are really bad at least distract me enough to stop it spiralling further. <br /><br />Sometimes though I cannot work out exactly what it is that is making me feel so anxious so getting away from it is not so easy. And along with the racing heartbeat, tunnel vision etc, I also have to fight against the negative feelings I have about feeling so panicked and anxious in the first place, especially when I feel like I am letting people down by not being able to go out for things I thought I could cope with or that one day I can cope with and another day I just can't. That feeling like it's me who is somehow at fault for having them and that it's a weakness is hard to deal with sometimes - especially when despite all my hard work to rid myself of such feelings it's still there just waiting for a trigger. <br /><br />I have to remind myself that I do and am working hard to deal with them and work around them and that they are just part of me. Plus I am very lucky to be mostly surrounded by supportive and understanding people and those that aren't supportive and understanding can just take a long walk off a very short pier. <br /><br />So the project is the reason behind all those books and notes - I've made good progress on it so far and have enjoyed the sessions at the college and with my mentor but I have a lot more to do and a lot to make and create before the exhibition opens in October (watch this space for details). <br /><br />One of the things I'm going to be trying out is a new (to me) matte medium image transfer method which sounds a bit more fiddly than the one I'm used to but will also hopefully result in an image that I can transfer onto more uneven and potentially tricksy surfaces like branches and maybe even leaves. So far I have had success using my old method transferring images onto coffin lining material - it's shiny like coat lining material, muslin, canvas and cotton. So if the new method fails there's always that method to fall back on instead. <br /><br />I'm really enjoying the project as it's enabled a revaluation and revitalisation of my thinking and processes, given me new connections with other artists and more reason to be hanging out in the library - basically doing the 4 'R's' which are - reading, 'riting, researching and recording. It's also making me think again about resuming these studies formally in a PhD type context but I've a lot more thinking and doing (and saving up) to do before I can do that on a practical level. <br /><br />But in the meantime watch this space for more musings on working methods, research questions, outcomes and artefacts and I hope that if you suffer from anxiety too you can find or have a good way to ease your way out of it.<br /><br />Thank you for reading. </span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-54611570221960426072022-03-25T10:44:00.006-07:002022-03-25T23:38:45.029-07:00Doing, Horror, Reading, Making and Stuff <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjSWPQIkPMU3SXtjlqBjov6fGhlZ3U7wIoZdjkTGcvbs-fXxK5sMlwJ5czroYsJaevgiOkN0SpIrGOGoejbtBC9EAW5Tw_qfYCrYAcUjeemjR7PFpBHY4OFTT3Q6HMm0TR0tfiYHtv66clsneWoAOfo2KnfQeTPmbXqtvWRfZuRQgHxApg09BG66NE/s640/102_0598.jpg" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjSWPQIkPMU3SXtjlqBjov6fGhlZ3U7wIoZdjkTGcvbs-fXxK5sMlwJ5czroYsJaevgiOkN0SpIrGOGoejbtBC9EAW5Tw_qfYCrYAcUjeemjR7PFpBHY4OFTT3Q6HMm0TR0tfiYHtv66clsneWoAOfo2KnfQeTPmbXqtvWRfZuRQgHxApg09BG66NE/s320/102_0598.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Image taken using the kids watch cam built in reflection in water filter, it's a view of the 'scarey corner'* bit of St George's Field, I took it earlier this month and then post processed it to monochrome. </span></td></tr></tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVJw_yqQimB_PFYNV1GB5MA6gI33IJJMS5sdmpqk3Pdiqk9xk_pUzKFK5PZnlUeeW3VXsHsOc5assjcNsMUqDnkLN82bqteNtO0_RYGPYn7Wk3MbmF7WXDKT0OKqMpMqT5jWIS3FABBQ1ACFz4Nux2qY5dMoAQX83AhXejBlgF08mYH8ToQvPXS-np/s2723/P1210533.jpg" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="2653" data-original-width="2723" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVJw_yqQimB_PFYNV1GB5MA6gI33IJJMS5sdmpqk3Pdiqk9xk_pUzKFK5PZnlUeeW3VXsHsOc5assjcNsMUqDnkLN82bqteNtO0_RYGPYn7Wk3MbmF7WXDKT0OKqMpMqT5jWIS3FABBQ1ACFz4Nux2qY5dMoAQX83AhXejBlgF08mYH8ToQvPXS-np/s320/P1210533.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">image of main avenue linking the two halves of Sheffield Cemetery together - taken in February this year whilst we were there celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary. I was using my 'proper' point and shoot digital camera for this and post processed the image to monochrome.</span></td></tr></tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEb3uRorv1qoCFzjRYHu8wMxUfYzAjR4KAqb2LxD8eZii6CL_NSN6astQyHS_l9EVvvivmbWjOjuObhPcOUY8wDM71k9IQeniC8xFohWi5LgU8kQ2KB0gt6RkIodVV7-Fhp4sxJZOuEOPzdOvtaeyYx8gnPcQFU_2SSyGnYuVk6YuhLO_P8mkjX_Cc/s911/womens%20day%20art%20thing.png" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="911" data-original-width="504" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEb3uRorv1qoCFzjRYHu8wMxUfYzAjR4KAqb2LxD8eZii6CL_NSN6astQyHS_l9EVvvivmbWjOjuObhPcOUY8wDM71k9IQeniC8xFohWi5LgU8kQ2KB0gt6RkIodVV7-Fhp4sxJZOuEOPzdOvtaeyYx8gnPcQFU_2SSyGnYuVk6YuhLO_P8mkjX_Cc/s320/womens%20day%20art%20thing.png" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">screenshot of my contribution s to the House of Smalls last 3 exhibitions highlighted for International Womens Day earlier this month - you can see mine and other artists work at their website <a href="https://www.thehouseofsmalls.art/" target="_blank">thehouseofsmalls.art </a> <br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">So it's a few weeks since I last wrote full of the good intentions of a new year and a new start and some things for the new year have been good but some things have been and continue to be dreadful - namely the ongoing Russian invasion of Ukraine, the ongoing massive rise in numbers of Covid infections, the massive cost of living increases in the UK of basics like gas, electric, fuel, food and the fact that our binfire of a corrupt government continues to do little to ameliorate any of those things. <br /><br />I feel quite powerless, helpless and hopeless in the face of such power and corruption so I remain incredibly grateful that for the time being at least I am very fortunate in terms of my personal circumstances and can retreat to a world of thinking, making, horror of the made up and easily vanquished enjoyable kind, fiction, going to the gym and going for walks in the green spaces that I am so lucky to live close to. <br /><br />I've been thinking again about photography and my relationship with it, it remains the main way I express myself, the main way I see the world and try to make sense of it. I am still very much enjoying using the kids camera watch and experimenting with its inbuilt filters as well as the post processing I can add to such images using basic image software that comes as part of the windows operating system. Photoshop remains an unwieldy unuser friendly beast to me though I do use and love GIMP photo-editing software sometimes. <br /><br />I also love the fact that although in some ways my kids digital watch camera is completely impractical it's also so very portable and easy to either wear on my wrist or stick in my pocket (along with the now obligatory for me hand sanitiser, tissues, non smart small brick mobile phone, mask) - it makes me sad to think that the days of just leaving the house with a packet of tissues and little fear of what you might encounter out there are long gone and lost forever.<br /><br />I don't so much have FOMO ('fear of missing out') at the moment but more FONBATDTIUTDEA (the much more unwieldy fear of 'never being able to do things I used to do easily again') - for example I haven't sat in anywhere to eat or drink coffee in over 2 years as my favourite places to do that have either been closed or my anxiety at the thought of being in an enclosed indoor space with others has far outweighed my desire for the food or the coffee. I'm lucky in that I can get and have had take-aways but it's not quite the same. See also for me - in person film showings, in person gallery visits and going round friends houses.<br /><br />I think more than anything I am missing spontaneity and tiring of the extra steps I feel are necessary in order to do anything with the least amount (but still a considerable level) of anxiety on my part that involves being around other people. I am hoping this will begin to lessen though as I am taking steps to step out of and widen my comfort zone each week. They make look like tiny steps to others - like sitting in the local library for 10 minutes but they are big ones for me and fingers crossed they will work and I won't catch anything debilitating in the process.<br /><br />I've been doing a lot of reading recently - I remain completely in love with Shirley Jackson and all her work and am currently very much enjoying The Sundial though its end of the world apocalyptic focus of the main characters is a little bit too uncomfortable at times (especially the decision to take books from the library shelves and burn them so the shelves can be used to store canned food instead) but it is also an exquisite comedy of familial rivalries and etiquette. That's my serious book for the moment, my not so serious more brain bubblegum book that I've got on the go is The Dark Angel by Elly Griffiths which I am enjoying so far. I really enjoyed The Stranger Diaries by her earlier this year so am now eyes peeled for works by her when I dare venture into a charity shop. <br /><br />I'm also re-reading Camera Lucida by Roland Barthes - a booked beloved by philosophers and academics for its clever thought provoking insights into the nature of photography and its relationship with the dead but also a beautifully heartwarming and poignant book too. Then it'll be Margaret Bourke-Whites biography 'Portrait of Myself' - a book I ordered from the library after seeing the following quote from her on a photography page on Farcebook ' saturate yourself with your subject and the camera will all but take you by the hand'. I'd never heard of her before then but I am finding out more about her and her incredible work now. <br /><br />I think I watch more horror (as a genre rather than just how the news can be described, though I mostly just read headlines now as otherwise it's just too depressing) than I read of it and I am especially enjoying the horror offerings on Talking Pictures TV (channel 82 on Freeview) on a Friday night from 9pm. <br /><br />Introduced by the delectable Caroline Munro they are an excellent mix of obscure and not so obscure, british and american, pre and post 2nd world war films - some excellent and some whilst not excellent very entertaining nonetheless. There is a tweet along under the hashtags #cellarclub or #thefilmcrowd and it is so lovely both to see the films and appreciate with other like minded fans and laugh about their absurdities or laud their insights or just swap bits of nerdy trivia (like one of the meths drinkers in Theatre of Blood (1973) Stanley Bates also played Bungle in Rainbow and was bound over to keep the peace after a road rage incident in March 2001. The role of women in these films (as in all genres) varies from decoration to main character, from dreadful inaccurate stereotypes to iconoclastic leaders. It is a highlight of my week in these ongoing disturbing and distressing times.<br /><br />Image-wise I'm currently working on putting together images made with my watch cam into a photobook, am still deciding on whether to do this in chronological order or locations or themes or some combination of all three. This week I have also been doing some thinking about photography itself as a medium, its relationship to the dead and rekindling some of my old formal research interests. Please keep your fingers crossed for me that something good will come of this. I'm still knitting too as I still find it quite meditative and calming - a kind of beta blocker in yarn form. <br /><br />I'm also enjoying seeing robins in particular when I'm out for a walk and it makes my day if I see one. The folklore is that robins contain the souls of dead loved ones and so seeing one is meant to be a good omen. I try not to be superstitious and I know that they do not actually contain the souls of dead loved ones, however I'm always pleased and cheered if I see one when I'm out and about as it makes me feel like my Dad is near - even though I know in reality he isn't and cannot be. <br /><br />*so called because it is the only part of the space where I have felt unnerved even though the circumstances which led to me feeling like that were entirely coincidental or had some actual physical cause. <br /><br /> <br /><br /></span></div></td></tr></tbody></table>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-61577990653624374562022-01-13T09:40:00.003-08:002022-01-13T09:40:31.940-08:00New Year, New Ways of Trying To Do Things, Continuing The Old Ways and That Kind Of Thing. <p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhlRzXFfrT2gNbNV7YRoHMVP-kwAE84KIARDZKA4lcTEmwtqqzjW221NFoP1tWz3GRD6M_Lq04eSvBL02pYRfSKU7C1gqOmOFiJjgTQvWUJUXjaLOizEFx8E0PTWe3GN9XeF0G7gYXhdUfyGqnpmMCRGuOHAdAlHdrns9z2ll10v18-7VMostrR6l9z=s3648" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="2736" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhlRzXFfrT2gNbNV7YRoHMVP-kwAE84KIARDZKA4lcTEmwtqqzjW221NFoP1tWz3GRD6M_Lq04eSvBL02pYRfSKU7C1gqOmOFiJjgTQvWUJUXjaLOizEFx8E0PTWe3GN9XeF0G7gYXhdUfyGqnpmMCRGuOHAdAlHdrns9z2ll10v18-7VMostrR6l9z=s320" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">The Skull of Nice Things - I got this skull a few years ago, when new it contained halloween themed mallow sweets - the sweets were eaten long ago and since then I use it to contain lovely things that have happened - I write them up on little pieces of paper and fold them up and put them in there. If I'm feeling especially low or in need of a pick up I look in there - I also look at it at the end of the year as it provides a nice overview and reminds me of nice things - a thing often needed in the midst of this ongoing shitshow. Some years it gets fuller than others, right now it only has a couple of things in it but the year is young and here's hoping it'll start to fill up soon... </span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhAVRz8zwHTt87Sw7KaSj5UU32nkd5b2YnptOHu5braAb1A7JU7V60NCWWgqACvGLoMn_Ebg_zZCaewLS_BKCbq_h19hVzwHUeJgMOMh9G8mnNNdHQX1nrej6PBQh7Aq5RgNSWAy71wMjcWbIB_50BMOHoeSMFpA0B-V_KKoCIKeEhgE5QoglFksFU3=s3648" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhAVRz8zwHTt87Sw7KaSj5UU32nkd5b2YnptOHu5braAb1A7JU7V60NCWWgqACvGLoMn_Ebg_zZCaewLS_BKCbq_h19hVzwHUeJgMOMh9G8mnNNdHQX1nrej6PBQh7Aq5RgNSWAy71wMjcWbIB_50BMOHoeSMFpA0B-V_KKoCIKeEhgE5QoglFksFU3=s320" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Some of the things I made for people for xmas - am pleased to report that my Mum loved the toilet roll holder (which is a lovely old school pattern to knit) and that my second oldest nephew loved his knitted Count Orlok - he's really into zombies and vampires and I am really looking forward to sharing horror stories, films, tropes etc with him as he gets older. Knitting is still one of the best ways for me to just feel that little bit calmer - and the fact that I end up with something at the end of it is all for the better.</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjnPB-pgB3A3GKueo3m2zw5diyqUtdDLd4N60jvvrdkQuYQ6-3avBDl7kMaN6Gz1RqFHLCmuVUFHexFJXE64cVuNQcfU9TNCAmfGUPlTbVusJ1lwjwgwTDYh19l-LW7kPq_dO5SBD3SGh1ZRHzUzjeoRnMZO6BALkefX-EO7NfiRNNvzWHghQfL86gp=s3648" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjnPB-pgB3A3GKueo3m2zw5diyqUtdDLd4N60jvvrdkQuYQ6-3avBDl7kMaN6Gz1RqFHLCmuVUFHexFJXE64cVuNQcfU9TNCAmfGUPlTbVusJ1lwjwgwTDYh19l-LW7kPq_dO5SBD3SGh1ZRHzUzjeoRnMZO6BALkefX-EO7NfiRNNvzWHghQfL86gp=s320" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Rather than making resolutions as such I've been writing down as things occurred to me - what things I need to do, what things I want to do and what things I ought to do and in the plastic wallet bottom right - the nice things from 2021 - I was lucky to have so many given that it in so many ways it was a complete shitshow and that sadly all the things that made it such a shitshow are still ongoing...I hate the Tory government and their pisspoor lack of ethics and moral standards - Johnson et al are truly despicable and they must think we are mugs - but here's hoping their til now consequence free ride is coming to an end and they'll be booted out sooner rather than later. </span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: left;"> </div></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">As I type this I'm listening to the Frigay The 13th Podcast on Dreadcentral - the episode about haunted and cursed objects and apparently there are lots of 'haunted' objects available to buy on Ebay with the disclaimer that there is no guarantee that the spirit will accompany it to the successful bidder and equally that they are not responsible for any horrible things that happen to the new owners. <br /><br />Sounds more to me like it's a kind of Pascals wager for people selling or to be far more honest about it conning gullible people out of money. At the time of recording there were two haunted UPS cardboard boxes...yep you read that right - haunted cardboard boxes...<br />You can listen to it and their other fabulous podcasts <a href="https://www.frigay13.com/" target="_blank">here</a><br /><br />However despite my scepticism with regard to haunted cardboard boxes I'm really interested in what an object can contain other than its material components and characteristics, like where the memories associated with them and how they can be accessed and oh how I wish objects could talk so that they could tell their particular history in a truly authentic direct as opposed to mediated way. <br /><br />Oh how I wish telemetry was an actual thing and I wish I had it as a skill. I often touch things in the hope it'll give me some great revelation, insight or transportation to a time and place but alas this has never happened...but I live in hope of it happening...<br /><br />To go back to the 'nice things on pieces of paper skull - that is something I will be doing this year, I will also continue to try updating my blog more regularly (usually on a Thursday) and though I have written (see above) some lists of things and some wishes the new thing I am going to do is not beat myself up if I don't do or achieve the things that I've written down - apart from medical stuff. <br /><br />I'm going to see if taking the immediate pressure off takes away some of the angst and procrastination I have around doing things and so leads to them actually being done. <br /><br />But one thing I am doing is making a list of goals for the day - like the minimum things I want to achieve in the day before I try to settle down to watch something that I find comforting. Days seem much more achievable in terms of a timescale at the moment. <br /><br />My comfort watching continues to be Dark Shadows - Barnabas Collins as portrayed so beautifully by Jonathon Frid is just wonderful, Mandy is making me laugh out loud, and the Twin Peaks box set I got my husband for xmas is just beautiful and disturbing...and I'm still trying to catch Buffy The Vampire Slayer when I can. <br /><br />I'm reading lots too - I enjoyed Elvira's biography and postie has just dropped off a book about Vampira too which I hope to start reading this evening. My love affair with the Boulet Brothers Creatures of the Night podcast, Peaches Christ Midnight Mass podcast continues and I often have them on in the background whilst I'm working, I think I will be adding the Frigay the 13th to my listening list too. <br /><br />I have so far this year though taken lots of photographs amidst the windy cold of Blackpool Illuminations, worked on a piece to do with medication which *gasp* doesn't involve a photograph - I am hoping it gets accepted to be in a particular show but I won't know if it has or not til next week. I've also made some new image transfers and I have plans for putting some of this stuff together into more of a themed collection type arrangement.<br /><br />I'm continuing to go to the gym (as my beloved Hacker would say it makes me feel so much better-er) and to try to go for walks which also make me feel better - even if it's just a quick turn round the block. I'm also trying to be a little bit more sensible about what I'm eating but also just take a bit more notice of it so that I can try and see if there is more of a pattern between what I eat and the physical discomfort I sometimes get after eating and also what my mental state at the time is too as I think they feed (no food related pun intended) into each other.<br /><br />So here's to 2022 and here's hoping that (this shitshow of a government and what they continue to do aside) it brings nicer and kinder things than the last couple of years - top of my wishlist is a return to spontaneity and a lack of intense fear...what are you hoping for? <br /><br /><br /></span><br /></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-75391689449998725962021-12-16T09:21:00.004-08:002021-12-16T10:50:51.682-08:00Will This Ever End? Good Luck Folklore, New Photos, Xmas Prep, ASMR Noises and Podcasts...<p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhv1c7vI_dj0GcOiwVz5J8Cvn4dFwa_gMuuHs-pXECX7iijD7a9RFmusnsErS5xmWVMWsRTNeyMnbnuDDXHHivWwNUA3KkKU2sMmRVGSQkjaWBsWZzTxsfcatYbgneYRudWui6DS1W7C92GT9Nz1-q_A8UXvdHXb1DwUXNzn5TlkNtAuHuuoC9hcUfu=s3648" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhv1c7vI_dj0GcOiwVz5J8Cvn4dFwa_gMuuHs-pXECX7iijD7a9RFmusnsErS5xmWVMWsRTNeyMnbnuDDXHHivWwNUA3KkKU2sMmRVGSQkjaWBsWZzTxsfcatYbgneYRudWui6DS1W7C92GT9Nz1-q_A8UXvdHXb1DwUXNzn5TlkNtAuHuuoC9hcUfu=w400-h300" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Todays prompts, my lovely fountain pen, leftover stickers, folklore good luck leaf </span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiaIdACv8AWNXoI-kWoLTWfMGlHkcDcbgyTy1d5OPGC1cK5V8qugAYC0JIbnpfTOHlR47YSmLqwoI1gw0RcNh0hfRLLdjEFp1sKVs0H1sfl7wJhNt3vePvFUNNvguTbyHdiVK6xkqbw5xAQGkYp1cYMu6H30Qc0oT8rO8HoCxDrnPPadRcxhgcYGg3S=s1058" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="672" data-original-width="1058" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiaIdACv8AWNXoI-kWoLTWfMGlHkcDcbgyTy1d5OPGC1cK5V8qugAYC0JIbnpfTOHlR47YSmLqwoI1gw0RcNh0hfRLLdjEFp1sKVs0H1sfl7wJhNt3vePvFUNNvguTbyHdiVK6xkqbw5xAQGkYp1cYMu6H30Qc0oT8rO8HoCxDrnPPadRcxhgcYGg3S=w400-h254" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">One of my favourite images from the film I took using a cheap plastic camera I bought from Primarni in the 'before times' - the camera has a fixed no focus lens, no iso setting or anything fancy about it all - it's just a shutter. I used 35mm Kino film from Lomography - which is film I got for xmas or birthday I can't remember which a couple of years ago. The image itself is of the stone bridge over the beck in Meanwood Park taken on a sunny day in late November 2021.<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">As I write this I am struggling to manage my anxiety about the seemingly exponential rise of the new strain of Covid, the terrifying predictions of the numbers of infections, the uncertainty of what Omicron might mean on an individual level and the impact of what large groups of people having to isolate might mean. The fact that it's Thursday and so it's blog day is a good alternative focus.<br /><br />I am in the fortunate position of having had both my jabs and my booster but the uncertainty of the effect of the new strain has meant that the beginnings of confidence I was starting to work to reclaim a couple of months ago and the tentative steps I was taking to get back to a bit of the normality of a bit of the 'before times' has been replaced again by the fear, uncertainty and at times sheer terror of the start of the pandemic almost two years ago. <br /><br />I can hardly believe I have just written the words 'two years ago' but it is almost two years now. Two years of stress and anxiety and now it's back at the highest levels and having had a teeny bit of respite from it it feels all the more heavy and all the more difficult. And having stopped feeling quite so anxious and then that feeling being racheted back up again just shows to me how tiring it all is and what an impact it has and continues to have on so many people to say nothing of its effect my own ability to concentrate and complete tasks. <br /><br />It also makes the feeling of when will this ever end all the stronger and heavier. Plus I know people who are extremely clinically vulnerable and on a personal level as an asthmatic who has been hospitalised in the past with a respiratory infection I'm very frightened of becoming seriously ill. But I am ever mindful that I am in a comparatively really fortunate position compared to so so many and I remain incredibly grateful for that and fingers crossed that continues. <br /><br />Vaccine provision aside I say no thanks whatsoever to our shitshow of a government who continue to both disappoint and enrage with their staggering levels of arrogance, incompetence, corruption and mixed messages. And now so many of their crap decisions are coming back to bite them (not sacking Cummings for instance, the shortsighted stupidity of making masks optional, the awarding of contracts to cronies with no oversight to name but three) but also sadly us in consequence on the arse. <br /><br />So on a happier note I learnt a new piece of folklore whilst on a walk this weekend round the bridlepath with a friend - namely that if you catch a falling leaf it will bring you good luck, and I managed to catch one. I try not to be superstitious but I think despite my conscious brain being fully behind rationalism and atheism it's partly a subconscious throwback to my strict roman catholic upbringing and its attendant belief and hope in things you cannot see and do not exist. <br /><br />Plus when things are bad - as long as you are doing the rational things what harm can it also do to touch a piece of wood or cross fingers? I am still resisting the lure of submarine catholicism (ie it surfaces when you are in trouble) as I do not believe in it and have zero time or respect for any kind of organised religion apart from the Satanic Temple. <br /><br />Anyway I caught a leaf (pictured above) and wished whatever good luck and fortune it may hold to my two friends currently dealing with serious illness - same as I did with the penny I found on the floor and picked up mentally saying 'see a penny pick it up and all the day you'll have good luck'. <br /><br />Its the same when I see a robin. Robins are supposedly carriers of loved ones souls as in the rhyme 'when robins appear, loved ones are near' and whilst I know each time I see one that it does not contain my Dad's soul or the soul of other dead loved ones I do find it a very very small comfort to even think that the belief is that it could. Oh how I wish it was actually true. <br /><br />What is a comfort though at the moment is slowly but surely working my way through my pre xmas preparation list which along with organising presents and food also involves a deep clean and sort out of the house. Last week I sorted out my workroom over two afternoons. The bookcases are still double stacked but now much more neatly and in much better groupings - most of the photography boooks are all together in one corner, though the death, gothic and victorian studies are still spread over two bookcases. Fiction takes up the rest of the shelfspace.<br /><br />There are still piles of equipment and materials on the floor next to the bookcases but it's all been sorted into much neater piles and I know what is in each one and where to look for things. Plus a bag of stuff went in the bin, a bag of stuff went into the recycling bin and two bags of stuff were dropped off at the charity shop on Tuesday morning. Imposing a bit of order makes me feel a bit better, as does looking at the pictures I took using the really cheap plastic camera (example above) as they have mostly come out exactly the way I wanted them too - I hope that viewers also see elements of creepiness, melancholy and old looking-ness. I'm looking forward to using some of them either as stills in a short film or as image transfers onto material. <br /><br />Whilst doing this I will probably be listening to one of my favourite podcasts which I am finding very comforting (either the Boulet Brothers Creatures of the Night, Peaches Christ Midnight Mass, The Uncanny on Radio 4 or the soundtrack album from Dark Shadows which I got as a birthday present last year. I've now watched 910 episodes and I remain as much in love with Barnabas Collins as played by Jonathon Frid as I was just over 2 years ago when I first started watching it. My curiosity aroused by what I'd heard of a gothic horror soap opera featuring a sympathetic vampire. Hearing the theme tune has a kind of ASMR effect on me and my husband - it's a real kind of 'aah deep breath calming' kind of effect and for the next twenty minutes we can get lost in and be distracted by ghostly, vampiric and time travelling goings on the Collinwood Estate. <br /><br />Thank you for reading and I hope you too have something that you can find solace in and some distraction and calm escape. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> </span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-53341378772549437792021-12-09T10:51:00.001-08:002021-12-09T10:51:37.779-08:00If It's Thursday It Must Be Blog Day, Nostalgia, Groundhog Covid-ness, Distraction Working <p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx12I6FYQyt0dcOr7LDgx0xOo6d5BbSfglVgF9OOxqAhqxeQR88FTEWGPbk9QWXS2jKws3Mz8Ok8PETdolrloItvS-TEieiqf4bKWzgbK1sRLean1wiCAUdxCF4RfisuYYUVCSxF4m80c/s1108/image+to+share.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1108" data-original-width="1014" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx12I6FYQyt0dcOr7LDgx0xOo6d5BbSfglVgF9OOxqAhqxeQR88FTEWGPbk9QWXS2jKws3Mz8Ok8PETdolrloItvS-TEieiqf4bKWzgbK1sRLean1wiCAUdxCF4RfisuYYUVCSxF4m80c/s320/image+to+share.jpg" width="293" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Out of focus digital image taken at St George's Field on Sunday 5th December,</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">post processed to monochrome - it's been a while since I've been to St George's Field for fresh air and for picture taking and making. My plan wasn't to do a 'proper' photoshoot as really I just wanted to wander but I popped my favourite digital point and shoot in my pocket in case there was anything which caught my eye. <br /><br />Many things did catch my eye as I ended up taking 91 images (oh the clicking freedom of digital as opposed to the measured use of film) - some of which I'm really pleased with and others are much more meh. It was balm for my soul though getting back in the picture taking zone as the last few days have and continue to be a time of great worry about seriously ill loved ones and here is hoping they'll make a full recovery. <br /><br />As a space St George's Field remains one of my very favourite places to be and one of the best for recharging my mental batteries. I continue to research its history and that of its occupants and make work in and of it.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">It can be hard to take an out of focus image with an automatic focus point and shoot digital camera and there's something serendipitous about this image - I meant to take and subsequently did an in focus image of that tombstone grouping too but there's something about this out of focus one that really speaks to me as I think it accurately reflects my current state of mind and the ongoing uncertainty and disconcerting nature of covid times. <br /><br />Once I'd had my booster (again thank you NHS) I'd started to feel a little less frightened and a little more positive and open to the idea of going out a bit more and socialising in person rather than through a screen but the events of the past few days, the emergence of a new Covid variant and our ongoing shitshow of a government and their crass incompetence and corruption has made me feel less light at the end of the tunnel but more light of an oncoming train again. <br /><br />So this image accurately reflects the way I feel about things which I had been able to take for certain in pre-covid times are now jolted and jumbled and no longer reliable. </span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCgiSGJvwGtz_D699Q4LRmxz1u9fGhUbB0uYetKZL4KMTE4OdPZlv6GLBEcgnu0CXCWC_JS2WjREmd0nYntN_8-FAmnznTTVc1ZWCdIVB_Q-07c71wzmWR_0RP8o3C6dMFk6FfS9_mfnk/s1728/blog+pic+9dec+21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1296" data-original-width="1728" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCgiSGJvwGtz_D699Q4LRmxz1u9fGhUbB0uYetKZL4KMTE4OdPZlv6GLBEcgnu0CXCWC_JS2WjREmd0nYntN_8-FAmnznTTVc1ZWCdIVB_Q-07c71wzmWR_0RP8o3C6dMFk6FfS9_mfnk/s320/blog+pic+9dec+21.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br />My beloved digital point and shoot Lumix - the camera I used to take the picture above and which remains my go to point and shoot digital if I want high resolution in focus images, a backing card for 'Fashionable' buttons which makes me smile as if there are 'fashionable' buttons then is somewhere selling buttons labelled as 'unfashionable'? , an old receipt for something I didn't buy from Binns Ltd for £1.90 on 21st August 1975 (that would be approximately £16.50 in todays money) that I found in a book I bought from a charity shop a while back and despite it having no personal meaning for me I can't bring myself to throw it away. <br /><br />If only I had telemetric powers then I might be able to discern who it was that made the purchase and what it was. Binns was a department store that became part of House of Fraser and I'm wondering what kind of things would have cost £1.90 in the summer of 1975 and would have been sold in a department store.<br /><br />There's also a photo of me meeting Father Xmas mostly likely at Lewis or Kendals in the early to mid 70's. I am wearing a kind of sailors outfit which my Mum loved and used to dress me up in all the time. I don't remember loving my sailor suit but I do remember loving my red boots and I also had a pair in white, there's also a ticket to Sometimes Always Never that I saw at the Hyde Park Picture House in the before times (Friday June 28th 2019) that fell out of a pocket of a handbag I hadn't used for a while and made me feel very nostalgic for carefree last minute trips to the cinema. <br /><br />The Hyde Park Picture House have been posting photographs of the things they've found as the refurbishment continues - so far I've seen an old packet of Woodbine fags, a card from a box of Needlers chocolates and a wrapper for a Zoom lolly from the mid 70's. You can see them if you look them up on their socials.<br /><br />There's also this weeks post it note and a blue bic biro - one of the survivors from my sorting out my pen pots on my desk earlier this week - the imprints of the other survivors can be seen scribbled on my beloved green and white lined proper old school computer paper.</span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Still enjoying my renewed blogging mojo and it does now seen to be a bit more of a habit again - hence if it's Thursday it must be blog day and in the midst of ongoing uncertainty and distress having fixed points is something of a comfort as is Buffy the Vampire Slayer which I missed first time round but am now catching up with thanks to its showings on E4 at 6pm. I know I could download it but I find it easier to watch it on a live broadcast - in part because it's a full stop to the chores of the day and permission to wind down by collapsing on the sofa and watching some flawed undemanding brain fluff that takes very little effort to watch. <br /><br />I am still watching Dark Shadows too but that does take a bit more of an effort at times as periods of what appear to be the writers treading water whilst deciding what to do next (it didn't begin with a grand overall story arc are then followed by rapid plot twists and turns which can be so lightning quick they're a bit disorientating. Continuity and logic are not one of its strong points but no matter I remain completely in love with Barnabas Collins and who in episode 1112 is back to being a vampire with a near uncontrollable thirst for blood. <br /><br />I increasingly carry out the chores of the day - be that cleaning, cooking, food shopping, christmas preparation, creative work, life admin to a soundtrack of either Radio 4 Extra or a podcast. The podcasts I'm especially enjoying include Peaches Christ Midnight Mass which examines various cult films by talking to performers from it or people who just absolutely love it. The enthusiasm of Peaches and Michael is infectious and it's by turns insightful and revealing, as is the Boulet Brothers Creatures of the Night podcast. <br /><br />Just as enthusiastic and revealing is Danny Robins Uncanny but by far the most disturbing thing I've listened to this week is The Haunted Generation by Bob Fischer. It's an audio recreation of my 70's childhood with a mix of evocative tv theme tunes, folk songs from the time *shudder*, 70's adverts, and is mostly gentle and lovely (so most unlike the 70's then really - but hey that's the rosy tint of nostalgia for you) but most terrifying of all in the midst of rosiness there is a clip of the soundtrack to the public information film narrated by Keith Baron detailing the perils of grain silos and how easy it is to drown in them. Til I heard that bit I had been merrily thinking about Fingerbobs, Wombles and the like - a lot of public information films were just short horror films weren't they? I like my horror cosy and as an asthmatic anything where it sounds people are struggling to breathe really unsettles me...hence my ongoing fear re Covid and its potential effect on breathing ability. <br /><br />I've often used creative work as a distraction rather than just as an end in itself - either reading or watching someone else's creative work or making my own. This week I have mostly been distracting myself with the creative work of others but I have also done some photograph editing and workroom tidying and my plan is to start making some image transfers with some of those photographs tomorrow, as well as think about about another possible exhibition submission in January. <br /><br />But here's hoping for better news all round next week eh? Thank you for reading. <br /><br /></span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-47557813970868248452021-12-02T08:35:00.001-08:002021-12-02T08:35:36.275-08:00Knickerbocker Glories, Time Uncertainty, Changing Consumer Habits, Podcasts and Haunting.<p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikCtPVx34Mg3nRa4RyfOOp3Gw-epdXtHOrLYk4YarlSOVbmXXT85FeQ-1RgRIKt8HX698kCfw6gSB3IjjWC4Kk6krLxs9H_mf0nJGFWf2GMc2ujAkYVso2VY25rk9d3XfWMXipRIkVd8U/s3648/P1200987.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikCtPVx34Mg3nRa4RyfOOp3Gw-epdXtHOrLYk4YarlSOVbmXXT85FeQ-1RgRIKt8HX698kCfw6gSB3IjjWC4Kk6krLxs9H_mf0nJGFWf2GMc2ujAkYVso2VY25rk9d3XfWMXipRIkVd8U/s320/P1200987.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">this weeks post it note, list of books on loan from Leeds City Council Libraries which I am slowly working my way through, my journal that I write in every few days or so with fountain pen with black ink, new (to me) purse which made me smile so I bought it although I was really supposed to be buying presents for others at the time which I did as well - I haven't included the things I've been working on as they are presents and so I don't want the people they're for to get a chance sneak preview... </span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJckL3AV7I6VbCcWa9uzqlRWQhs_y33JF4fC-C5Q0lMtyu3_9RUpiUobag22iwGMJH-JHHf4QQ9Sytlc9hqBO3mDv4myJwQeYCvxSy-g_-FpACPXSutrHW2uVkA3nSekfQFv-YqkU4wyc/s3213/13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3213" data-original-width="2457" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJckL3AV7I6VbCcWa9uzqlRWQhs_y33JF4fC-C5Q0lMtyu3_9RUpiUobag22iwGMJH-JHHf4QQ9Sytlc9hqBO3mDv4myJwQeYCvxSy-g_-FpACPXSutrHW2uVkA3nSekfQFv-YqkU4wyc/s320/13.jpg" width="245" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">giant knickerbocker glory which lives on Cleethorpes front - pictured earlier this year - I wonder if it survived Storm Arwen? I hope it did and its owner took it inside for the duration...I am jonesing for a day at the seaside (even if I almost freeze to death in the process) and in particular for a knickerbocker glory made for me by someone wearing a tabard and looking a bit bored - the best I've had has been in Brucciani in Morecambe and Pacittos in Redcar. <br />My mouth is watering at the memory of them.<br /><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">It's Thursday so that means it must be go to local shops for bread, fruit and vegetables, possibly the library too and then come home and do a blog post day. It's been another week in these ongoing unsettling and challenging times. I remain very grateful that the pandemic has not affected my finances and that I do not have the kind of job that means I have to leave the house, use public transport to get to it and interact with others in the flesh (especially those who no concept of keeping distance or wearing a mask ) but otherwise it continues to have a frightening and damaging and pervasive effect over everything else.<br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Almost two weeks on from my booster jab (thank you NHS) I was just starting to feel a little less anxious about going out and meeting up with folks and doing things from the 'before times' but I'm afraid the latest Covid variant Omicron emergence and uncertainty around it has ramped my anxiety levels right back up again. This coupled with loved ones currently being very poorly with it and with other loved ones that are having treatment plans delayed or derailed because of Covid is just making me feel rather despondent in a when will this ever end kind of way? Please join me in keeping everything crossed for their full recovery and that eventually this too will pass.<br /><br />The when will it ever end feeling also chimes in with the general feeling I have of losing all track of time, things feeling like they happened years ago but in reality were only months ago or were years ago but feel very recent. I don't think I'm alone in the feeling but it is kind of disconcerting too. Like part of me just cannot believe that this is the second xmas season under the heavy, horrid long reaching shadow of Covid. Is it really almost two years since I've been on a bus - something I used to do regularly in the before times? and yes, it is.<br /><br />I've made most of my xmas presents this year, something I often do anyway but my purchasing habits have changed considerably in Covid times, partly due to some of the shops being closed for some of the time (I do buy some things online but not many) but also because until recently I didn't feel comfortable going into shops unless it was for immediately necessities ie bread and milk type stuff. <br /><br />I still don't feel entirely comfortable browsing and so I have mostly stopped making impromptu purchases. When I do go to the shops now it's just local ones and with specific purchases in mind or a list. I haven't had a wander round the city centre just nipping in wherever takes my fancy for almost two years. A sentence I cannot believe I am writing and yet it is true.<br /><br />I recognise the enormous privilege I have in being able to decide not to purchase stuff as well as purchasing stuff as well as a comfortable space to call my own to be in. However I did treat myself to the little purse on last weeks shopping trip tho I'm not sure if I'll actually use it for physical money as I so rarely use actual cash these days, I mostly just wave my contactless card at a card machine. On checking my bank statement it seems I've taken cash out of the cash machine twice in the last year. TWICE when it used to be a weekly event. I also recognise how lucky I am to have a bank account with the privileges that brings when not everyone does. I might just the purse to keep my earrings in or a lippy and little mirror when I next have a night out - tho as that hasn't happened since March 8th 2019 I won't be holding my breath til it happens again. <br /><br />Am awaiting the return of my 35mm film with some anticipation - I so hope there are some usuable images on it but it won't have any of the recent snowfall. I failed to take any pictures of the recent snowfall, not even quick digital snaps out of the window. Tho please accept my assertion that the back garden looked very pretty under it's snow coating. I'm glad it melted fairly quickly tho as like many others I do not want to slip and hurt myself or make ongoing existing niggles with my ankle worse.<br /><br />I've been listening to the very marvellous Peaches Christ Midnight Mass podcast recently as she and her podcast partner filmmaker Michael Varrati talk about some of my very favourite films and filmmakers. Plus even if I'm not familiar with the film they're talking about their love, enthusiasm and insight is infectious and I am adding lots more films to my want to watch list. I especially enjoyed their episodes on Ed Wood and The Bad Seed. Creatures of the Night - the Boulet Brothers podcast is also one of my current favourites.<br /><br />One which encapsulates some of the aspects of my seventies childhood and which I listened to this week is The Haunted Generation podcast by Bob Fischer which for me veers between enchantingly nostalgic, unsettling and downright terrifying. The snippet from a public information film warning of the dangers of drowning in grain silos is truly horrific and will continue to haunt me for quite some time. Be warned if you listen for that may happen to you too and things that you thought you had easily forgotten just may come back to haunt you too.<br /><br /><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> Thank you for reading.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-31942412044645638122021-11-25T09:38:00.004-08:002021-11-25T09:58:37.060-08:00Books, Browsing, Spontaneity, Reading, Escaping, Boosting and Kindness <p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYbLvhqx_wTHXRBzeT5KYFhYp3Bc_09p-2WciPnPZ2LrGzWmQpTkFyWJdTZ8BaWGNVuNmoO9VYVht1DOpjodLsTMXyuaVvdJTajTWECmR6b_EZgZDP5iJ9a774v3Qs-8GaQhnOLzbS4sk/s3531/P1200984.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2667" data-original-width="3531" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYbLvhqx_wTHXRBzeT5KYFhYp3Bc_09p-2WciPnPZ2LrGzWmQpTkFyWJdTZ8BaWGNVuNmoO9VYVht1DOpjodLsTMXyuaVvdJTajTWECmR6b_EZgZDP5iJ9a774v3Qs-8GaQhnOLzbS4sk/s320/P1200984.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">this weeks post it notes, the ever beautiful James Mason (oh be still my beating heart) who I adore and who I was talking about with a chum earlier this week, my lovely fountain pen that I write my journal with and my current reading matter - and a book by an author and series I absolutely love and I am now rationing the last few pages as I have rattled through it far too quickly and there is no more Cazalet Chronicles to read after this as I've read them all and this was the last one E J Howard wrote before her death in 2014, I picked it up from the Little Free Library at the side of the canal in Rodley the other weekend. <br />I am still a devotee of actual paperbooks rather than reading on a kindle or listening to an audiobook as such tho I do listen to a lot of serialisations on Radio4 Extra or on BBC Sounds - I still mostly don't listen to live Radio 4 as the hourly news bulletins are just too anxiety and anger provoking. <br /><br /> <br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">No matte medium transfers this week to share with you other than the ones on show <a href="https://www.thehouseofsmalls.art/mirrormirroronthewall">here</a> and <a href="https://artsandmindsnetwork.org.uk/exhibition-2021/">here</a> as I've yet to send the 35mm film off to be developed (oh the excitement of waiting in these instant digital times is both exquisite and agonising) plus I've been concentrating on getting the xmas presents I'm making finished instead and I'm on schedule and had the concentration span to read lots too... </span></div><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">It might still be too early to call this a habit again but I have definitely got a bit of my blogging mojo back and it's becoming a bit of a regular thing again. I am still hoping it becomes properly habitual again - as it both helps me formulate and gather my thoughts as well as punctuate/define the week a bit. Not least because I am proper old school and although I do stream some tv programmes I still sit down and watch some at the time they are being broadcast. <br /><br />How very retro in these netflix, amazon prime, youtube and i-player (other streaming services are available) times I hear you say and just as Thursday is starting to become update blog day, it's also Justice day. Justice is a tv series from the 1970's currently showing on Talking Pictures TV 8pm on a Thursday night and it features the very marvellous Margaret Lockwood as a barrister and it is both of its times and ahead of its times and quite gripping and it is also fun to location spot bits of Leeds that either have changed very little and are still recognisable or are now almost beyond recognition.<br /><br />It's also or rather has been as it is the finale tonight - new Drag Race UK day - I've liked all of this seasons competitors but my favourites are Charity Kase and Chorizo May but in terms of finalists I think I am TeamElla as I fell in love with her from her first runway which celebrated the striking women from the Ford Factory at Dagenham. My heart however continues to belong to The Boulet Brothers and all their works and I also have a very great fondness for Peaches Christ and her very marvellous indeed Midnight Mass podcast - if you love horror/quirky cult films then give yourself a treat and give it a listen.<br /><br />It's an understatement to say that the pandemic has disrupted my (and everyone elses) usual habits almost completely though at the same time I am bewildered, depressed and frankly frightened by those who seem to be carrying on as if nothing has changed or happened at all. I put this down to some people just being fed up about it, misinformed by conspiracy theorists but also down to the pisspoor lack of leadership and good examples from the government but I could rant about those corrupt selfish liars forever so I'll stop there and get back to my original point...<br /><br />So some new things for me have become regular fixtures and frankly a lifesaver in these ongoing uncertain and bewildering times, things like the Arts and Minds Meet and Make Space on a Tuesday lunchtime, chatting to chums on Zoom for instance and thankfully some pre pandemic things have become a thing again - twice weekly gym sessions and going to the local little greengrocers, delis and butchers at least once a week too. <br /><br />I do the latter for various reasons - it's a good walk, the food is so much nicer and not covered in plastic and it's also nice to see money go to a local business rather than a big corporate group plus it keeps me in the habit of going out and interacting with actual people in some way. Though part of the appeal of these particular shops is that they have excellent ventilation as they either have their doors open all the time or are mostly outside. <br /><br />One of the things I am missing most and have missed the most is spontaneity - not that I was ever a really spontaneous person but things could be done without additional thoughts and precautions like have I got a mask on me, have I got some handwash, will there be good ventilation, how busy is it going to be etc etc... and lack of fear around being inside a building with other people without visible open windows like a cinema or a theatre. Though I have managed a theatre trip I have yet to manage a cinema trip. <br /><br />I had my booster jab last Saturday at the big vaccination centre at Elland Road and I am hoping that it will make me less anxious about going places, mixing with other people but for the time being I'm still being and feeling cautious and I will continue to be a fresh air fiend as well as testing when necessary, regular handwashing and mask wearing when indoors with others. <br /><br />I was rather anxious going for my booster - I don't like needles, it wasn't at my local surgery that I know well and I was slightly worried if I'd have any unpleasant side effects from the vaccine as well as the welcome actual effects. It took rather longer than I would have liked as they asked a lot of questions before administering the jab as well as insisting on a 15 minute post jab wait and I just wanted to be in and out again but all the staff were empathetic and professional. <br /><br />But it was the kindness from and the conversation I had with one of the volunteers who brought me a paper cup of water after I'd had my jab as I felt a bit woozy straight away afterwards which really affected me. I don't think my feeling a little woozy was down to the contents of the jab but rather the whole situation around getting it.<br /><br />She saw the book I was carrying and reading from in an attempt to distract myself and feel less anxious. It was A Single Thread by Tracey Chevalier which I had picked up from Meanwood Community Shop (aka one of the best secondhand bookshops ever) and it is the story of a woman whose fiance died in the trenches of World War One and how she makes a new life for herself and becomes an embroiderer. <br /><br />The volunteer told me that she had completely lost her reading mojo (her words) and she had a pile of unread books at home and since the pandemic began she had found it very difficult to concentrate or read for any length of time and that she could no longer read anything in which anything horrible happened - especially to children and was no longer able to read fiction in particular.<br /><br />I found myself tearing up as she told me this, partly I think because I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed but also because I just felt so sad at the all the ongoing personal unseen effects of the pandemic that don't get reflected in the statistics of hospitalisations and deaths and economic impact but also because for as long as I can remember reading has been my refuge, distraction, delight and on occasion despair. <br /><br />I rarely go anywhere without a book in my bag, I still usually have 2 or 3 on the go at any time - a serious one that's either a textbook or historical, a bit of brain bubblegum fluff fiction and a serious more literary piece of fiction. <br /><br />The times when my anxiety or depression has been so bad that I cannot sit and read have been the worst as I haven't been able to escape into another world or time or been made to think about something I never have before. <br /><br />It made me feel so sad for her that she had lost her ability to read and transport herself, partly because I could totally empathise with that but also because she had been so kind in bringing me some water and not making me feel like I was being a wuss. When I was leaving I thanked her for her kindness and said I hope she got her reading mojo back soon.<br /><br />Jabwise my arm felt like I'd been hit hard with the flat side of a cricket bat for a couple of days, didn't have the best nights sleep and was very sleepy for the day afterwards, then felt okay then felt rubbish again and had very vivid dreams and a blotchy red rash came up around the injection site but that's faded again now and I feel okay again. Let's see how I feel tomorrow... <br /><br /><br /><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> Thank you for reading</span><br /><br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-41063675383055008972021-11-18T08:48:00.007-08:002021-11-18T10:22:58.475-08:00Promise Sticking, More Image Transferring, Colour Boosting, Boosters In General, Where Are Memories Held? Film-ness <p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"> </span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim_jvlgkag7fJjebrmYhoapBd7QK5RqEwSmabCAnuynWKVrzSi9qHCuaYvq8E4LeLnti2MxYhRDSQlC4ApNk_88ZyG-rTMgaOnpvMuo_4StqApACHAe_7oCZvTwYjdpISEcq690JZAGgM/s3083/P1200975.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2654" data-original-width="3083" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim_jvlgkag7fJjebrmYhoapBd7QK5RqEwSmabCAnuynWKVrzSi9qHCuaYvq8E4LeLnti2MxYhRDSQlC4ApNk_88ZyG-rTMgaOnpvMuo_4StqApACHAe_7oCZvTwYjdpISEcq690JZAGgM/s320/P1200975.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Matte medium image transfer piece in progress - still need to remove last few bits of paper, trim and sew excess fabric, wrap outside of embroidery hoop in bias binding (possibly purple) and decide on a title - I usually draw on chapter titles from novels by my favourite nineteenth century authors - Elizabeth Gaskell, Mary Elizabeth Braddon, Wilkie Collins...this one is in monochrome as monochrome is my preferred colour-scheme to work in.<br />Examples of other matte medium transfers I have done can be seen <a href="https://artsandmindsnetwork.org.uk/exhibition-2021/" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="https://www.thehouseofsmalls.art/exhibitionsandopencalls" target="_blank">here</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFvd3Qlp9cZ2mXv0b8W_7Cx_fhyO28mCN8Tu_5r0xIk37GGEmiqU0X5vrs0urAqvUtmsDOyHiyESiaGtIc4FUgxb5dPne-aMwpXuFj_FjjPdSwDAe7aG8-JgK_Y7BZUbHwaBgxrnoAgCA/s3648/P1200974.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFvd3Qlp9cZ2mXv0b8W_7Cx_fhyO28mCN8Tu_5r0xIk37GGEmiqU0X5vrs0urAqvUtmsDOyHiyESiaGtIc4FUgxb5dPne-aMwpXuFj_FjjPdSwDAe7aG8-JgK_Y7BZUbHwaBgxrnoAgCA/s320/P1200974.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">this weeks notes, the nail varnish I'm going to paint my nails with later whilst watching Drag Race - I much prefer Dragula as its inclusivity and menu of drag, filth, horror and glamour are some of my very favourite things...so whilst my heart and soul now belong to the Boulet Brothers there's still a bit of it that has space for RuPaul...also pictured is a bag of a shower cap I bought in a beautifully old fashioned chemist in Buxton in the 'before times' because its sombre old fashioned-ness really makes me smile. <br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">It's still early days but as this is the third blog post I've written in the last three weeks I'm feeling cautiously hopeful that I am getting my blogging mojo back. I'm certainly finding it a good way of marshalling my thoughts again in these ongoing uncertain and frightening times, and aside from it helping me I've also had positive feedback on it which is also a boost. <br /><br />Boosts of whatever kind are still very welcome as anxiety is still kicking my arse. I've not got back my going out to indoor places with lots of other people mojo as yet but am hoping getting my anti covid booster jab is going to help with that along with still taking things slowly but surely - baby steps, baby steps. <br /><br />Speaking of boosters - my current mood boosters are: watching or listening to the Boulet Brothers, the rather wonderful selection of ghost and uncanny stories on BBC Sounds and I-Player, going for a walk, reading a book that completely distracts and transports me - currently enjoying A Single Thread by Tracey Chevalier very much and painting my nails. I love nail varnish and tho I'm not especially skillful about applying it but there is something very mood lifting looking down to see shiny colourful unchipped nails. <br /><br />Due to being a dyed in the wool old school goth almost all my clothes are black and often the only pop of colour about me is my fringe which is blue or my nails (if I've painted them) or my lips if I've got make up on. I don't find black a miserable colour to wear or look at or be surrounded by but I'm reminded of reading something Brix Smith Start wrote about bright colours being a form of prozac for her but annoyingly I cannot find the quote. I don't have to surround my self with colour to cheer myself but a bright pop of it somewhere along the line is nice. <br /><br />Houseplants also brighten up the space around me and my mood - a chinese money plant I bought during lockdown has produced many offspring which along with spider pants (also very bountiful offspring from one plant) a few prayer plants and a very exuberant boston fern make me smile lots as do the constants of Spongebob cartoons at the weekend and daily glimpses of Hacker T Dog and his handler's other characters. As ever being able to walk in the woods and go to the gym also helps massively.<br /><br />I'm also really enjoying podcasts - be it the Boulet Brothers Creatures Of The Night or Peaches Christ's Midnight Mass or No Heathen Lands eerie stories of Yorkshire. <br /><br />But back to nail varnish - my Nana always said that nail varnish was the sign of a woman who didn't do any housework and chipped nail varnish was the sign of 'a slattern' and painted toenails were a sign in her opinion of very dubious morals and the person with painted toenails was likely to be a sex worker tho she would not have used that term. I doubt she could have countenanced the idea let alone the reality of men wearing nail varnish like a few of my friends do - I think she'd have connuptions like the time she went to see Hinge and Bracket and was appalled that the man sat next to her had a handbag. I don't think she realised Dame Hilda and Evadne were actually characters played by men. <br /><br />So whilst I don't miss her sheltered and restrictive views I do miss her and frankly would give anything to be able to talk to her again and I'd get her to teach me how to crochet whilst making sure that my nails were as impeccable as I could make them and I'm not sure whether or not I'd paint them bright red - which was according to her the sign of 'a harlot'. <br /><br />Knitting is more of a mood stabiliser for me tho really as I find it quite meditative after a while and sometimes I pick projects because they involve quite a bit of just plain knitting. Though at the moment it's less meditative as I am currently working my through various projects that are destined to be xmas presents for family members. I've got 5 that I want to finish before the start of December so that there's plenty of time to get them posted off in time to arrive for Xmas. So far I've finished 3, made a start on one (a nice simple one thankfully) and then the last one is a little bit more complicated and so will require a lot more concentration. Am being deliberately vague on the offchance that one of the recipients might come across thisblogpost.<br /><br />One of the things I've been thinking about recently is memories, both reliving them or what we think they were, where they are held - are they in the object, diary entry, a space somehow embedded into physical structures and my/the fear of losing them if I lose the objects that are associated with and evoke those memories and how photographs are (their lack of smell and noise aside) such excellent memory holders/provokers. <br /><br />It also makes me think and wonder about matte medium as a medium (every meaning and association of the word intended) for transferring and holding images and how I want to work on refining the physical process of working with it but also reading more about the philosophical implications of it.<br /><br />I'm hoping that some of the pictures I took on film with the very lomo camera will be good enough to make into transferred pieces. I finished the roll on Monday whilst walking through the woods, I also had the usual 'ooh will I get more than 36 pictures out of it' as you often get 37 or or rare occasions 38. The camera I was using is very lomo but it does have an anti double exposure feature and so as I continued to frame, click and wind on past 36 I was at first 'yay more pics' and then 'oh no, maybe I didn't wind it on properly in the first place - all those potential photographs lost' when I clicked without really framing and it really was the last on the roll and then of course as is always the way I saw what would have been a beautiful image opportunity. Oh well.<br /><br /> Thank you for reading.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></div></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-47392110172176026032021-11-12T08:30:00.004-08:002021-11-12T08:30:48.345-08:00Mirror Mirror, Matte Medium Transfers, Lomo Film Cameras, Proustian Computer Paper, GI Blues And That Kind Of Thing <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgASGoXje61NMe9UMpgQMJicF2nqg0liZq7IVGFduB9kRFsVCBCEzUBBKFDrQKuySUZVCXWeqerb0cPlkYEgC-kVHlMoclAIYKtbTEg5-sTOt-9PkEZbtkYJ9s8xHm0iOosmdkWKCp8XLA/s3648/P1200968.JPG" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="2736" data-original-width="3648" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgASGoXje61NMe9UMpgQMJicF2nqg0liZq7IVGFduB9kRFsVCBCEzUBBKFDrQKuySUZVCXWeqerb0cPlkYEgC-kVHlMoclAIYKtbTEg5-sTOt-9PkEZbtkYJ9s8xHm0iOosmdkWKCp8XLA/s400/P1200968.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Post it note-ness, camera am currently using and a piece 'Story Of the Past Part V - as on show as part of the 2021 Arts and Minds Network Online Exhibition (which can be found <a href="https://artsandmindsnetwork.org.uk/exhibition-2021/" target="_blank">here</a> ) and which was made using a photograph taken with the (very) lomo camera pictured next to it.<br /><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">I am trying to live up to my promise in my last but one post that I would try to update this blog more regularly and so I tried to get back into my old MA habit of writing things that I had done, thought about or encountered on a post it note which I keep in front of my computer in my work room in the hope that will prompt me to write more regularly.<br /><br />I also wanted to make sure that there was something up to date for people to read if they came here via my instagram account (which can be found <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ladylugosi13/" target="_blank">here</a> ) in turn via my inclusion in The House of Smalls current exhibition Mirror Mirror On The Wall which can be found <a href="https://www.thehouseofsmalls.art/" target="_blank">here</a>. Plus one of the things I find the biggest compliment as an artist aside from someone wanting to buy a piece of my work and live alongside it in their home is that they want to go and see a space for themselves after seeing my images of it or hearing me talk about it or want to try out a technique for themselves. <br /><br />A couple of weeks ago I loaded a camera (the one pictured above) with film - 35mm ISO 400 b+w Kino film from Lomography. I had primarily been using lomo digital over the last 12 months or so using either a kids watch camera or my non smart phone camera so I had forgotten how exciting it is to tear open the cardboard box, flip the plastic lid and get that faint chemical whiff from the unexposed film. I did however struggle a bit at first to remember how to load this camera - as it has no auto windo on features at all. I'd forgotten I needed to pull out/up the wind on bit as well in order to fit the cartridge in. But after some fiddling and worrying I'd break a nail but I didn't I got the film loaded and I am currently on shot 24 of a 36 film.<br /><br />I decided to use one of my most basic film cameras that I bought from Primarni in the before times as I wanted something to use something with no electrics that only needed me to have wound the film on properly, enough light to make a picture, a press of the shutter and a wind on and was easy to fit in a pocket and light to carry round. <br /><br />It has no film speed setting, is fixed not very sharp focus and the daft passion fruit pattern makes me smile every time I look at it. You can't do accidental double exposures with it though as you can only press the shutter once before you have to wind the film on. I forget how much it cost exactly but think it was either £6 or £7 and I have taken it out of the waterproof casing it came with as I won't be using it underwater for the moment. It was an impulse whilst standing in the queue kind of buy.<br /><br />Tho I haven't used it underwater I have used it next to water - all being well I will have captured with it views of the Seven Bridges Valley* near Fountains Abbey and Studley Royal, Meanwood Beck, the canal near Bramley Falls Park which I am looking forward to seeing once I've finished the roll and developed. <br /><br />I won't be developing it myself in the garage aka pop up meth lab as a) it's far too cold and damp and miserable in the garage at the moment and b) despite my best efforts I always end up with either waterspots or cat hair on the negatives so my plan is to give it to someone far more competent than I am and hopefully I will have lovely clear albeit not very sharp focus negatives to then print from and make matte medium image transfers with. Plus I hate scanning negatives - it's one of the most boring processes in photography for me and if I can avoid doing it I will. <br /><br />I suffer from imposter syndrome at times when describing myself as an artist as I primarily use a camera as my paintbrush rather than actual paint and paintbrush, so in part to assuage this doubt I do use an actual paintbrush to transfer an image I have taken and printed onto another surface. The one above is a transfer onto canvas but I also use fabric of various kinds including poly cotton, muslin and coffin lining material. The doubt re materials and methods used and a hierarchy thereof is not one I apply to other artists of any genre but I find it very hard not to apply it to myself at times. <br /><br />The transfer is created by painting a layer of matte medium (I use Windsor and Newton's Galeria range) on the printed image (reversed or flipped so that when transferred it is the right way round) - printed using the printer I have at home which is just an ordinary domestic use Hewlett Packard kind that I often find myself swearing at a lot. Once I have printed or photocopied the image and it's dried I then decide what surface I'm going to transfer it onto. I then paint a layer of matte medium onto both the surface and the image and then sandwich the two together making sure there's no air bubbles, letting it dry completely (usually by leaving it overnight) and then wetting the paper and rubbing the paper away gently and hey presto the image has transferred itself...hopefully. <br /><br />Sometimes it lifts off a bit, or has patches where an errant air bubble has escaped my attention but I think this adds to it, making it more of an accurate material recreation of a memory which is basically what a photograph is. <br /><br />The more keen eyed amongst you may have noticed that the post it note, piece of work and camera have been photographed against a background of proper old school computer paper, the kind that has a smell all of its own, an ever so slightly furry texture, sprocket holes either side and numbered green and white lines, the green stripes being made up of 6 thin green lines. <br /><br />This was the kind of paper I made revision notes on when I was studying for my exams and most proustian of all this was the kind of paper my Mum used to bring home for me when she was a cleaner at IBM back in the early 70's. On occasion she'd let me go with her and I'd sit and draw on it whilst she emptied bins and polished tables. A friend of mine had inherited a big pile of it from a relative who never throws anything away and kindly sent me a huge pile of it - it makes me smile every time I look at or write on it. <br /><br />Happy memories brought back as were the ones that watching GI Blues (1960) on Talking Pictures TV yesterday afternoon brought back. My Mum loves Elvis and had this album which she played on rotation with Johnny Cash's Live From San Quentin on a portable orange Dansette until early December when out would come Perry Como's Xmas Hits and an album of xmas songs by others including Andy Williams and which was probably some kind of K-Tel compilation. <br /><br />I'd forgotten how much I loved GI Blues as a soundtrack and I might have to ask Santa for a copy for Xmas...and by copy I do mean actual physical copy as although I do listen to some streamed music I'd far rather have an actual copy. Though as it's only an old secondhand copy complete with some slight scratch noises and hissing and creased cardboard cover that would make its proustian capabilities strongest.<br /><br />Talk of the dreaded c-word (ie xmas) makes me think of the only acceptable xmas album namely the John Waters Xmas Album which is packed full of the most gloriously twisted and bizarre xmas songs ever. However despite the adverts assaulting our ears with xmas songs from before Halloween I won't be playing it until at least the start of December. That's a reasonable time to start playing that kind of malarkey I think - not months before. <br /><br />Thank you for reading. <br /><br />*misnamed as it only has 5 bridges apparently - I think I crossed them all on the walk and also got as far as Sam's Seat which has a beautiful view across to Ripon Cathedral in the distance. <br /><br /><br /></span></div></td></tr></tbody></table>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-89910269051055618832021-11-08T09:13:00.000-08:002021-11-08T09:13:11.064-08:00Mirror Mirror On The Wall - Exhibition has gone live <p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikGM7qAam3VIOf895HcM6iZBghFiAeL7WTRhNm5n3cGnCwJy88nnoUXa0BvddOS2hq2uIuEVAPKDvl6CrU6bQkhepXJp0-aVHiAFnlU2vYQappLo7dV9u8skfLCatbrk5Fq-ig9Hypq_4/s2048/Mirror+Mirror+poster+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikGM7qAam3VIOf895HcM6iZBghFiAeL7WTRhNm5n3cGnCwJy88nnoUXa0BvddOS2hq2uIuEVAPKDvl6CrU6bQkhepXJp0-aVHiAFnlU2vYQappLo7dV9u8skfLCatbrk5Fq-ig9Hypq_4/s320/Mirror+Mirror+poster+3.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Exhibition has gone live - you can check it out by clicking <a href="https://www.thehouseofsmalls.art/mirrormirroronthewall" target="_blank">here </a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /> </span></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-57848151539859915982021-11-03T10:25:00.014-07:002021-11-03T10:53:43.938-07:00Online Exhibitions, Creative Collaborations, Sketchbook Challenges, Photoshoots, Podcasts and Musings...<p><span style="font-size: medium;"> <span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; text-align: center;"> </span></span></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi670BrOxBlHmthdUFkShOv1fi1CyfBCCoLhwwKt75XsRE4j0_-MTWZqED9M7U_xP51xuKqWn5csChGLtAVjSaH4LU8s1PYeU7DgVdnDYcZcbAFALCHu5gXtv7i79a9PjZ7Zozg9nzdQtg/s443/previous+house+of+smalls+piece+.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="425" data-original-width="443" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi670BrOxBlHmthdUFkShOv1fi1CyfBCCoLhwwKt75XsRE4j0_-MTWZqED9M7U_xP51xuKqWn5csChGLtAVjSaH4LU8s1PYeU7DgVdnDYcZcbAFALCHu5gXtv7i79a9PjZ7Zozg9nzdQtg/w320-h307/previous+house+of+smalls+piece+.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">'The Hidden Dread' 2021<br />matte medium image transfer - on show as part of the Volatile State at The House of Smalls<br />- can be found <span style="color: white;"><a href="https://www.thehouseofsmalls.art/" target="_blank">here</a> </span> </span></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="555" data-original-width="539" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5XQkTiyqRq5uZ_Bu6gcYIvvcTxS2wfcx2jSXV9yl62urRDvhbvXZQt_GI_xj5sfpWDQ5lAZPqyMPRs4QvQ9LkSEGEHDtlN7HDfJPu_x9r_4dCA_OglWlJjV2Ty7LZXSIiyRsT04qd14/s320/piece+with+jon.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="311" /></span></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">a collaborative piece made with my friend and 'Man Ray' person Jon - some of whose work can be found on his insta and you can read about how this collaboration came about and what it signifies <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CUhwXveM52p/" target="_blank">here</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY_2GsCQfyQgqE08jUulUOeuJ5Nf_iFXwPu9O-LJt1DfN0sDJDZG9T_YvxDoaEdnIcO-5-Z_ISwq2NzoL24d4D8SUZa1uDdzEuVbFi_ZGlRlBinN374yxbDk8c0nKCGPtw9z1qB5eq9tc/s864/skull+topped+pencils+-single+continuous+line.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="864" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY_2GsCQfyQgqE08jUulUOeuJ5Nf_iFXwPu9O-LJt1DfN0sDJDZG9T_YvxDoaEdnIcO-5-Z_ISwq2NzoL24d4D8SUZa1uDdzEuVbFi_ZGlRlBinN374yxbDk8c0nKCGPtw9z1qB5eq9tc/s320/skull+topped+pencils+-single+continuous+line.jpg" width="237" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">one of the single line drawings I did as part of the Sketchbook Challenge online class at Swarthmore Centre in September <br />although I mostly use a camera as my pencil/paintbrush I enjoyed the challenge of using pens, pencils and watercolour and drawing my skull topped pens made me smile </span></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-hDfDMWCP0TmZph5SdZQODwgqKwuG3ua1Ukv4DBTzzb_xYxCKxaW2V2t0clfepN7OBDpbhKrHdygieRaJbPBbkqeiAgCDy_RmlnzQYKdH5AEfqTFxkZ4SMTRyTCFccUr1esEDMVHz3pM/s3648/made+mono+%252B+vignette+%252B+turning+upside+down+.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="2736" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-hDfDMWCP0TmZph5SdZQODwgqKwuG3ua1Ukv4DBTzzb_xYxCKxaW2V2t0clfepN7OBDpbhKrHdygieRaJbPBbkqeiAgCDy_RmlnzQYKdH5AEfqTFxkZ4SMTRyTCFccUr1esEDMVHz3pM/s320/made+mono+%252B+vignette+%252B+turning+upside+down+.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Portrait of Joel - taken earlier this year, it's his reflection on the bonnet of his hearse, you can hear some of the music he makes in his solo project Bryronic Sex and Exile by clicking <a href="https://gothcityrecords.bandcamp.com/album/unrepentant-thunder" target="_blank">here</a> <br />I really enjoyed this photoshoot as it was a very different thing for me to do as I don't often take pictures of people (and their hearses which I got to have a lift home in after we'd finished) plus Joel was really pleased with the pictures I'd taken too - result all round :-) </span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX0dJxiCIfS1sOmx0Wrr5atd1kyedPYFOURNYXqA9T2sWfWktnQ6kp60Us6dqFxAcMhNMme7W7pEWXM44ZJMBhy_SjB-Wr_3L8cndn1yFVg9XVPEt8xY76GE0se66SXVd1RKUyRoHVv7I/s2048/Mirror+Mirror+poster+3.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX0dJxiCIfS1sOmx0Wrr5atd1kyedPYFOURNYXqA9T2sWfWktnQ6kp60Us6dqFxAcMhNMme7W7pEWXM44ZJMBhy_SjB-Wr_3L8cndn1yFVg9XVPEt8xY76GE0se66SXVd1RKUyRoHVv7I/s320/Mirror+Mirror+poster+3.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">Also got work in Mirror Mirror - another House of Smalls online gallery project which goes live this weekend </span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><br /><br />It's quite a while since I last updated my blog, updating it used to be part of my weekly routine as I used it for my research journal, but once I graduated from the College of Art it stopped being such a regular part of my routine, and I know I have said this before but I do intend to update this blog more often as it's a good way of marshalling my thoughts - especially with regard to creative matters. The images above give an idea of the kind of things I've been up to over recent months.<br /><br />I write much more regularly of much more personal matters in my journal but that is for my eyes only plus that has the benefit of being portable too as it is of the paper kind which I write in in fountain pen, however with the advent of Covid I haven't written it anywhere other than my workroom or the dining room for months. I have dared to venture to the local library recently but I have yet to feel comfortable enough to spend longer than the time it takes to return books and check out new ones. To sit at a table in the library and write feels beyond me at the moment. I've still to venture into the city centre to go back to either of the libraries there - despite missing being in both of them keenly as the thought of being in a people filled busy city centre and the bus journey needed to get there practically brings me out in hives. I had hoped being double jabbed would help with that anxiety but although it has diminished my fear of dying from Covid it hasn't diminished my fear of catching it in the first place. <br /><br />One of the central beliefs of the Arts and Minds Network is that creativity promotes mental well being. I have been a member of the network for well over 10 years now and it is thanks to them that I have met and made new friends, I've also been able to take part in projects which have taught me new techniques, or new places to show my work. This year like last the annual exhibition of members work is online and you can look at it and my piece 'Story Of The Past Part V' <a href="https://artsandmindsnetwork.org.uk/exhibition-2021/" target="_blank">here</a> <br /><span style="text-align: center;"><br />Creativity and being creative is absolutely central to maintaining my mental health , whether it's the ability to enjoy others creative output in the form of films, programmes, books, photography, paintings made by others or the ability to create and make my own. In terms of my own work it's primarily in the form of images made with various kinds of cameras and some of them I either print or have printed directly onto fabric or transfer them onto canvas, fabric or other surfaces using matte medium. I have also been trying to write poems and longer prose but have yet to create a piece I consider finished and am happy enough with to share just yet.<br /></span><span style="text-align: center;"><br />Over the last couple of years I've found I've often been so distressed or anxious that I've been unable to concentrate properly on creating anything myself or I start something and then get distracted and cannot finish it or sometimes along the way I lose confidence in my ability to create the thing. At other times though I've been able to make and finish things either despite feeling depressed or anxious or because I have been feeling relatively okay. <br /><br />In order to make the times of feeling okay enough outnumber the times of not feeling okay at all one of the things I've been doing is to make sure I get out regularly for fresh air and I am so very grateful that I have a peaceful mature garden I can sit in and the woods nearby to wander around, and that the plantar fasciitis that had been so painfully limiting my mobility continues to be in abeyance. I continue to go to the gym regularly too - deadlifting and strength training makes me feel so much better-er as my beloved Hacker T Dog would say. Watching his glorious nonsense also never fails to make me smile - see also the work of The Boulet Brothers and Spongebob Squarepants - they are also a vital part of my self care routine. <br /></span><br />I've been knitting too - as long as I am comfortable with the pattern I find it quite a meditative and relaxing process and my go to default destress things to knit are booties or dishcloths. I have knitted quite a lot of those items over the last few months. Some I have kept and some I have given to friends. <br /><br /> Along with taking and making photographs, I also ventured out of my comfort zone by doing a portrait photoshoot really enjoyed doing it as I don't often take photographs of people so it was a challenge. <br /><br /> I was also very pleased to be asked to be guest on the rather marvellous podcast No Heathen Land earlier this year. The podcast looks at talking about my love and passion for St George's Field as a space and two of the women buried there and you can hear the episode I'm in by clicking <a href="https://shows.acast.com/no-heathen-land" target="_blank">here </a> and give yourself a treat by listening to the eerie and disturbing tales in the other episodes too. <br /><br />I've really got into podcasts over the last few months - along with No Heathen Land I am also really enjoying the ones from The Leeds Library, The Uncanny on R4 and the Battersea Poltergeist one was completely compelling. <br /><br />So that's a round up of things I've been up to recently and my plan is to keep on doing more of the same whilst trying to keep well and safe in these ongoing frightening and disturbing times. <br /><br /> Thank you for reading. <br /><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-87841181650195563222021-08-02T07:18:00.002-07:002021-08-02T07:28:55.925-07:00Work On Show - This Volatile State <span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGTF7xlXXCQ_Vh7qed5yjeIQiqtY9pO2CEefbNEeji183U3Mx2VdnU_hwK7HWpVFQYp08pq49pv8xh_bqC3zXYcThGy8zDJsNI2oflvLNXvVt476A-_w9kv9n9MxOUKjGvKSkvl05Ycg8/s756/vol+state+poster+with+deets.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="756" data-original-width="515" height="575" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGTF7xlXXCQ_Vh7qed5yjeIQiqtY9pO2CEefbNEeji183U3Mx2VdnU_hwK7HWpVFQYp08pq49pv8xh_bqC3zXYcThGy8zDJsNI2oflvLNXvVt476A-_w9kv9n9MxOUKjGvKSkvl05Ycg8/w392-h575/vol+state+poster+with+deets.png" width="392" /></a></div><br /><br />I've got one of my matte medium image transfers on show as part of the Volatile State Exhibition - you can see mine and lots of other artists work by clicking <a href="https://www.thehouseofsmalls.art/thisvolatilestate" target="_blank"><span style="color: white;"><i>here </i></span></a><br /><br />It's exciting to be part of a show again - though I've been quiet on here I have been showing some of my recent photographic work using a kids toy watch camera over on instagram - you can see that work by clicking <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ladylugosi13/"><i><span style="color: white;">here</span></i></a><br /><br />I know I have said this before but I am going to try and get back into a habit of posting here again - as well as it being a way to show my work, it also helps me organise my thoughts - a task which seems ever harder to do given the events of the last 18 months...<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /></span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /> <a href="https://www.thehouseofsmalls.art/thisvolatilestate"></a> ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-66285918260414235692020-12-02T11:25:00.006-08:002020-12-03T00:35:11.213-08:00Beginning At The Other End, Dark Shadows, Collage, Walking, Grieving <p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhntmYoXsg27Gf1JNpA2uo-OJMGAV44Sjy2VbDLtsktWds-kWw5wq1Ecup6MgmOM7XDolMrylRZRTtp1QzmKTWfPrvtP6SG94iTZty-yI0TKPf-wmGT8L3Slk2e57EgzTTZkAMGJw7OCqA/s959/9a.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="723" data-original-width="959" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhntmYoXsg27Gf1JNpA2uo-OJMGAV44Sjy2VbDLtsktWds-kWw5wq1Ecup6MgmOM7XDolMrylRZRTtp1QzmKTWfPrvtP6SG94iTZty-yI0TKPf-wmGT8L3Slk2e57EgzTTZkAMGJw7OCqA/s320/9a.png" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;">This was a light refraction image taken on my trusty go to lomo camera phone earlier in the summer when there was still quite a lot of daylight. It makes me think of Covid virus images but in this case it's sunlight refracted through the patterned surface of a drinks tumbler onto my grey marbled kitchen worktop. My lomo phone camera (I do not have a smartphone) has become my camera of choice over the last few months despite its lomo limitations. Its very poor zoom, limited focus and lack of flash are outweighed by the fact that it fits easily in my pocket, plus it's very light in weight and it only relies on electrickery to take and transfer the images to the computer rather than chemical developing the film in our cold, slightly damp and not very nice garage before scanning it into the computer.</div><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"></span></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX2MQoGLrUoX2zSYpEpjhXiaEiMZBlRWW9XLpM6WLDhJnH0TyAROdOtPNpPkX2gVydtFp7fUM1xGNJYfe2ZkzysSL82EDKftcISQj0TQRCRUjxHxgCcfNGzPnRcv-JIBv16kO1n0kKC_0/s1762/edited+doll+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1406" data-original-width="1762" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX2MQoGLrUoX2zSYpEpjhXiaEiMZBlRWW9XLpM6WLDhJnH0TyAROdOtPNpPkX2gVydtFp7fUM1xGNJYfe2ZkzysSL82EDKftcISQj0TQRCRUjxHxgCcfNGzPnRcv-JIBv16kO1n0kKC_0/s320/edited+doll+2.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">This is a close up of the doll I got from my Nana when I left home just over 30 years ago. The doll usually has a hat on as well as a peach dress and she guards a toilet roll under her faded crocheted peach dress. This year she had a respite from toilet roll guarding duties and became a film star when I took her out of the toilet roll and put her in my mini studio and took photos of her. She along with other images I'd taken became part of an experimental short film I made earlier this summer, when I took part in the Facing The Mind project. I got so much out of the project - it was both beautiful and welcome distraction from grieving and lockdown fears plus I learnt some basic video-editing skills and learnt a little about the Kuleshov Effect - you can read more about the project <a href="https://facingthemind.leeds.ac.uk/" target="_blank">here</a> and see some of the other participants work too. </div></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div></span><p></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBMCtSs30v3Uy5RW9j7UcqNF5_wcXY-PevCT62KF96r5r007zzDEk7Bp4CY9vHSCMU8R4pd1n4ft2L3OK20jUz-zYq1lmVMKs7W-l6hhaQJyp2Z5r-bmPmDp2nHqtOt1JKy-86VhMYFD0/s564/temp.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="463" data-original-width="564" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBMCtSs30v3Uy5RW9j7UcqNF5_wcXY-PevCT62KF96r5r007zzDEk7Bp4CY9vHSCMU8R4pd1n4ft2L3OK20jUz-zYq1lmVMKs7W-l6hhaQJyp2Z5r-bmPmDp2nHqtOt1JKy-86VhMYFD0/s320/temp.png" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">This is a still of Barnabas Collins as played so beautifully by Jonathon Frid in Dark Shadows - a daytime gothic horror soap opera which ran on american television from 1966-1971. In this image he is staring out from the Old House wishing harm upon his young relative David Collins. There were over 1200 episodes made and I've seen almost 700 of them so far. I started watching it this time last year and was instantly hooked on its dark grim storytelling, for all its shonky-ness in places (line flubs, scenery malfunctions, boom mic shadows) it is also completely compelling and often telling versions of stories inspired by the gothic classics - Dracula, Frankenstein, The Portrait of Dorian Gray, The Pit and the Pendulum, Jane Eyre to name but a few - I've now reached the Lovecraft inspired Leviathan storyline and I am loving every moment of it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have fallen completely in love with Barnabas Collins - the reluctant and sympathetic gentleman vampire with the most excellent eyeliner and eyeshadow and almost all of the residents of Collinwood, the old house and Collins Port. I've joined online fan clubs, got audio versions of the books featuring the same characters but not quite the same story arcs and one of the soundtrack albums. The haunting theme tune by Robert Cobert perfectly fits the weird world dreamt up (literally - the idea came to him in a dream) by Dan Curtis and fleshed out by writers like Sam Hall. The theme tune has become a kind of ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) in our house as hearing it takes us instantly to a calmer contemplative state in these otherwise fraught and frightening times. </div></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQNtvN9E4AYGQu0xffBr96zpWusYe4pyXJuY8GV5fwqiInVu_TN2RIMPm5PJxPn0ZHvT2b4DPhhyphenhyphen5ayXvPJTQzhM-HhG5N-eOijf7MREH6di9Sv3GElJKTSR-ATPMWY2zESusfj_Q6hiw/s2048/The+Hidden+Dread.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQNtvN9E4AYGQu0xffBr96zpWusYe4pyXJuY8GV5fwqiInVu_TN2RIMPm5PJxPn0ZHvT2b4DPhhyphenhyphen5ayXvPJTQzhM-HhG5N-eOijf7MREH6di9Sv3GElJKTSR-ATPMWY2zESusfj_Q6hiw/s320/The+Hidden+Dread.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">The other thing that has been helping to keep me calm and keep me relatively sane in these otherwise gruelling and distressing times is being able to go a for a walk as thank goodness the plantar fasciitis issues that were so crippling and disabling me are in abeyance. This is a picture taken on my lomo non smart camera phone and post processed using the basic free photo editing software that comes with Microsoft Windows. Being able to go for a walk around the nearby woods and bridlepaths continues to be an absolute lifesaver for me. Especially as my usual outlet for distraction and relaxation the Hyde Park Picture House has been closed for refurbishment and would have been closed because of Covid. <br /> </div><div style="text-align: left;">I have tried to keep up with exercising at home and have gone to the gym when I could but I am hoping now that I can get a clear run or rather clear chest press and shoulder press towards my current goal of being able to deadlift 100kg. I've really learnt the value of exercise and a place to be able to do it over the last few months. <br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Until somewhat ironically the start of the first lockdown earlier this year I was only able to manage about 10 minutes from home by foot, every trip out on my own had to be planned so that I could easily call a taxi to come and get me or get on a bus if need be. Needless to say the mix of pain, physical discomfort, lack of mobility and frustration that nothing seemed to be working in terms of making it better were really getting me down. </div><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Plantar issues severely limited my mobility and choices of places to go to and things to do whereas now thankfully I am mostly pain-free and it is either Covid related restrictions or my own choices to minimise my risks of catching Covid that put limits on where I want to go. It's almost a year since I have been on any kind of public transport, nine months since I went in a supermarket though I have been to the local shops a few times for things like milk, bread, wine and cake. For the rest we've been relying on companies who have diversified from supplying restaurants to supplying individuals. It's quite hard to eat a kilogram of hummous though but we went halves on the kilo tubs of hummous with friends who live nearby and thankfully it now comes in pots of a much more manageable size. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I can't tell you how much I am missing going to the cinema, looking/listening/absorbing in art galleries, sitting somewhere other than my desk to write my journal or read a book, treating myself easily to the occasional fancy decaff coffee as opposed to planning exactly where to go and queue and remembering to take hand sanitiser as well as well as wearing a mask. Carefree or rather comparatively carefree spontaneity is one of the things I miss most of all.</div><br /></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijdVa2-mdAo-shbYlsjIp74ciHYVJ-vLeE3K4gkbkE5BP8sG7ojH6M3Swl0MoE5rkFvPTBLHdsc-7N19poJ_bmLXRtXXYJPPDIiTAda8WeYuHuv-As6xG9k3pNq42vP-mujkMrR3Pfo7k/s3521/close+up+detail+of+Beginning+At+The+Other+End.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: black; font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2429" data-original-width="3521" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijdVa2-mdAo-shbYlsjIp74ciHYVJ-vLeE3K4gkbkE5BP8sG7ojH6M3Swl0MoE5rkFvPTBLHdsc-7N19poJ_bmLXRtXXYJPPDIiTAda8WeYuHuv-As6xG9k3pNq42vP-mujkMrR3Pfo7k/s320/close+up+detail+of+Beginning+At+The+Other+End.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: courier; font-size: medium;">This is a close up of a detail of the piece I made in memory of my father who died earlier this year and which is part of the Arts and Minds Annual Exhibition - you can see it and the other pieces <a href="https://artsandmindsnetwork.org.uk/exhibition/" target="_blank">here</a>. I have started making collages and including it as part of my practice after a prompt from the Facing The Mind project. I find it rather soothing to cut things out, arrange them on the paper and then glue them down. <br /><br />Having something to do with my hands has been very important in stopping my mind from racing or dwelling on things. Along with making collages I have been doing a lot of knitting too. I took this pieces title from a chapter in Lady Audley's Secret by Mary Elizabeth Braddon as it seemed appropriate for a time post death and the beginning of grieving for a loved one. <br /><br />I'm not going to call it a grieving process as process implies something orderly that can be managed and I don't think it's like that at all</span><span style="font-size: large;">. </span>As ever Victorian sensation fiction has proved to be excellent distraction and that along with the support of my husband, family and friends, Dark Shadows, exercise and snuggling up with the cat is helping me get along.<br /><br />I'm hoping to get back into a more regular blog habit again. I let one particular unsupportive and destructive naysayer get in the way of my writing it and I shouldn't have let their nasty negativity get in the way. Blogging is more important for me as a way to marshal my thoughts than who is reading it and whether or not it's 'good writing'. <br /><br />Thank you for reading. </div></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-16269150154562809812019-11-26T07:26:00.003-08:002019-11-26T09:30:25.861-08:00What am I doing now part 2 <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSka3bYwjgpciGcvuxF5lD96heEpxF3PHiyvEjqD2l4qt-rYUSyXEsuPXf1pobm9UoQ6Ab4HjBX0Uxn8mJwno3UqOI4d10zeaBiL4JsvvLJS4fLuzM63vE3weouIMk3RKHWZuuDe92X9Q/s1600/P1190449.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSka3bYwjgpciGcvuxF5lD96heEpxF3PHiyvEjqD2l4qt-rYUSyXEsuPXf1pobm9UoQ6Ab4HjBX0Uxn8mJwno3UqOI4d10zeaBiL4JsvvLJS4fLuzM63vE3weouIMk3RKHWZuuDe92X9Q/s400/P1190449.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've been keeping myself busy <br />- reading, making, doing and listening.<br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Reading wise - I've been struggling to concentrate at times but the last couple of days I have been really enjoying Have A Bleedin Guess (2019) by Paul Hanley - the story of the making of Hex Enduction Hour by The Fall. It's always interesting to read about others creative processes and Paul writes the best footnotes. I only got it on Sunday night - after the Brix and The Extricated gig at the Brudenell and it was really nice to be able to buy it directly from the person who wrote it and to be able to thank them for their previous book Leave The Capitol. I'm not sure how much you'd enjoy it if you weren't a Fall fan, but Fall fan or not I'm sure you'd enjoy Paul's descriptive incisive smart witty writing and his truly excellent footnotes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm also reading Anne Tyler's Searching for Caleb (1975). I've not had the time/state of mind to get completely lost in this like I did with when I read her Back When We Were Grown Ups (2001) and A Spool of Blue Thread (2015) but am hoping to get lost in it some time soon. I became aware of her work after reading an interview with my beloved John Waters in which he praised her work so I determined to read some for myself. And I'm glad I did as I have really enjoyed the ones I've read so far.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Other books I'm dipping in and out of when I can include 17 by Bill Drummond (2008) which I bought recently from Oxfam in Headingley, and Cursed Britain A History of Witchcraft and Black Magic (2019) by Thomas Waters borrowed (like the Tyler) from the Leeds Library. I treated myself to membership when I became a student and I have continued to treat myself to it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was a fan of the KLF back in the day though I can remember feeling indignant about their burning of a million quid, you can listen to a dramatisation of that event <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06y18n2">here</a> and I recently went to see him and the documentary about him called Best Before Death (2018) at the Hyde Park Picture House. In that perfomance he questions whether or not he is suffering from White Saviour Complex and ruminating that he probably is, but like Waters, he makes me laugh and think which is my favourite combination.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Speaking of John Waters, I went to see him speak in Birmingham at the beginning of the month and he was as ever - funny, filthy, thought provoking and inspirational. Alas this time I didn't get chance for him to sign my book and so have a filthy blessing but having had afternoon tea with him this time last year I think it's safe to say I remain in a state of filthy grace.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Making wise I've been knitting - I've made some booties for chums who have had babies, they are my default de-stress knitting, I've also made some presents for family members (xmas is only a month away) and I've finally got round to making over an old turkish delight balsawood box, knitting a kind of skull creature and I'm still in the process of making some matte medium image transfers. I just need to wet the paper and rub it away and hopefully the image will be remain intact on the material. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I didn't see lots at the Leeds International Film Festival but what I did see I really enjoyed. It included Haxan (1922) the scenes in which nuns are infected with devil worship are brilliant, but my favourite film seen as part of the festival was also the film which won my 'What The Actual Living Fuck Have I Just Seen?' Award for 2019 was Jesus Shows You The Way To The Highway (2019) and as I'm still not sure how best to describe it other than mindblowing, instead I shall link to a trailer for it <a href="https://vimeo.com/341820787">here</a> and you can make up your own mind. It's worth watching for the trailer alone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Other things I've been listening to have included Drift Series 1 by Underworld which includes the very excellent 'Low Between Zebras whose opening lines of 'drift liberation, a happy wanderer journeying without purpose,travelling directed by intuition not target to move through places with no other objective than to experience the moment' really speaks to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm also mostly still watching the Horror Channel or Talking Pictures TV as it is a treasure trove of interesting films and listening to Radio 4 Extra as it has no news it is much less painful to listen to than regular Radio 4. The news is still mostly bringing me out in hives and other than looking at front pages of the news sections of the BBC and the Guardian I'm mostly trying to ignore it as it makes me feel so sad and helpless. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm still gym-ing and am hopefully on track for my goal of being able to deadlift 100kg by xmas. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Housework is a boring thankless sisyphaen task, I know I am better off by doing it as the end result is of benefit but the process of doing it is just boring and frustrating and so by writing this I have put off doing the dusting. Alas however I can put it off no longer and must get to it...<br /><br />Thank you for reading.<br /><br /> </span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-57547888513302681812019-11-04T11:06:00.001-08:002019-11-05T04:06:32.156-08:00Non PhD-Ness 3months on from cessation aka what am I doing now? <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgW3RrQ8xej7LE5qjIrvYHwZgqpJ0TrM5KaW0b_FtKk48QkPLIXe-6QraFzYR1mlod2XNfHmoOz32duPRUfZMpfOwtHYq1yqbLl30uX6-KVeXq66dJ67Jp5Ox2gv0iMUXY6HhduNcvx0g/s1600/P1190438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgW3RrQ8xej7LE5qjIrvYHwZgqpJ0TrM5KaW0b_FtKk48QkPLIXe-6QraFzYR1mlod2XNfHmoOz32duPRUfZMpfOwtHYq1yqbLl30uX6-KVeXq66dJ67Jp5Ox2gv0iMUXY6HhduNcvx0g/s320/P1190438.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Notes for todays blog post and what I hope to cover....</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgST7pjuJWkon_jpH5NyJyNGQrzGGU06YCGUjpXOAJgrUpsuZRdRGZMR-kuwa_YvBQ7hR0yHE8iqU-OZjTSRnUoA58sQHrxBm-rEdOZFMLBVloULbkazqqul8brM1ygM1_FYokqW0lgi7Q/s1600/Photo5051.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgST7pjuJWkon_jpH5NyJyNGQrzGGU06YCGUjpXOAJgrUpsuZRdRGZMR-kuwa_YvBQ7hR0yHE8iqU-OZjTSRnUoA58sQHrxBm-rEdOZFMLBVloULbkazqqul8brM1ygM1_FYokqW0lgi7Q/s320/Photo5051.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Phone image of the Goth cabinet currently at Leeds Museum in the Broderick Room and there til February 2020, installed as part of the Festival of Gothika held on October 12th 2019. I gave a talk as part of the festival entitled 'Hidden Relics: Uncovering Hidden Histories in St George's Field'.<br />3 of the hoops I have made containing photographs I have taken and transferred onto material - including coffin lining material are hung around the neck of the Newky Brown Bottle promo item. Said item used to live in the legendary and much missed Phono nightclub... and a place in which I spent a lot of my time in the late 80's when I first moved to Leeds. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoM7K_UevG9IwJ8F6IfLfUo2ZU8QuCw0OWrKrE7pgZfW1HAdBY6e9f-1cQMN7oCY7Tb8FV0ZX4KuQrF25XxD7W-u5fnbKirNL_gJZDzEecG2JqCX4xt2YW-x_8HcNB-ugtO1EFmUmd31Q/s1600/cemetery+road+sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="384" data-original-width="480" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoM7K_UevG9IwJ8F6IfLfUo2ZU8QuCw0OWrKrE7pgZfW1HAdBY6e9f-1cQMN7oCY7Tb8FV0ZX4KuQrF25XxD7W-u5fnbKirNL_gJZDzEecG2JqCX4xt2YW-x_8HcNB-ugtO1EFmUmd31Q/s320/cemetery+road+sign.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Road sign image taken on toy digital camera - this is cemetery Road off Clarendon Road Leeds 6. It leads to one of my very favourite places namely St George's Field, the former burial ground that is part of Leeds University campus.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUgsl2giAWOfJhlhLd7rtpHQXCDNwu0zhfaryI5JY0zYOJMmmkDbkiw-wwCdA2VeJ-u4JRN38gjV75W_iYvZnvJHAxrwsKBa0aec-posAZXXpyLJ6WvI-kyyK2fMmvniO1cM1p16DsGXo/s1600/hacker+autograph.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUgsl2giAWOfJhlhLd7rtpHQXCDNwu0zhfaryI5JY0zYOJMmmkDbkiw-wwCdA2VeJ-u4JRN38gjV75W_iYvZnvJHAxrwsKBa0aec-posAZXXpyLJ6WvI-kyyK2fMmvniO1cM1p16DsGXo/s320/hacker+autograph.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">So pleased to have recieved this unexpected treat in the post from the never not funny Hacker T Dog aka Phil Fletcher. His brand of dog based meat paste fuelled slapstick, wordplay, cheekiness and proud northern-ness has helped me get through some really tough times recently. I am extremely grateful to him for making me laugh. I am also extremly grateful to my ever supportive husband Mr Pops, Mapp, my lovely friends and Paul at Crunch Gym in Meanwood for helping me get through it too. I can now deadlift (just by its name it is the goth-est of all exercises *grin*) 85kg and have a goal of being able to deadlift 100kg by the end of the year...lack of further illness and injury permitting that is.<br /><br /> </span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Oh my poor neglected blog, which I haven't really looked at or updated recently. On checking I updated it last in June 2019 when I put up some images of work I've made, and prior to that it was November 2018. Annoyingly (for myself anyway - it might have been a blessing for readers *grin*) I let someone who I should not have paid any attention to niggle away at my self confidence, especially in connection with writing this blog.<br /><br />Sadly though I let their rude, unsubstantiated and contemptuous opinion of blogs and blog writing overtake both the compliments I have been paid with regard to it but more distressingly and stupidly I let it get in the way of how useful I find writing it as a way of collating my thoughts.<br /><br />So I am hoping to get back into the habit of regularly updating it, maybe not as regularly as when I did my MA (which was at least once a week) but maybe once a month. Like when I first started my PhD at Huddersfield Uni in September 2017 and which after a lot of thinking and discussion with the head of department I decided to withdraw from before the start of the new academic year in September 2019.<br /><br />I withdrew for various reasons both personal and institutional but the bottom line was it was making me increasingly stressed and unhappy and had been since the start of my second year. Difficult circumstances external to the PhD were also having a negative impact on my mental health and so my ability to study and I was unable to secure the help and support I needed to deal with those issues at the time. Circumstances that thankfully are now resolved and long may they stay that way. I'm hoping that physio is going to help with ongoing plantar fasciitis problems though. Not being able to get out and about as much as I would like to has been and continues to be really limiting and horrible.<br /><br />I had started a PhD for my own satisfaction as opposed to 'I've got to do this because I want a job in academia' and I am still deciding what steps to take next - if any in a formal academic context. Steps being the possibility of transferring to a more traditional history based PhD as opposed to a practice based one as one of the areas I was finding most difficult was writing about my work in a way necessary to highlight the practice based elements of the research and what was original about it but I am still undecided about this and still thinking longer term what is the best thing for me and my work. <br /><br />I am still unhappy about leaving things unfinished as it were, especially as it plays into negative feelings I have about my own abilities and makes imposter syndrome feel far too real for me but I have no regrets about not returning to Huddersfield Uni, that was definitely the right decision for me.<br /><br />However I also realised I needed a break from all things academic/research related and so for a lovely few weeks over the summer I was lucky to be able to do things like pursue other purely photographic interests namely seasides, watch and listen to Count Arthur Strong who like Hacker T Dog never fails to make me smile, I went to see the wonderful and awe inspiring Carter Tutti, listened to bands like Snapped Ankles, The Psychological Strategy Board,Brix and the Extricated, and went to the cinema A LOT (might have to do a separate blog post about the films I've seen and enjoyed so far this year)in other words I gave myself very much needed rest and thinking space.<br /><br />Outside of a specific academic context I am still continuing my research into the history of some of the women buried in St George's Field and Victorian Mourning Culture and still making photographic based work inspired by or connected to it. You can see some of my hoops featuring images I've taken of St George's Field in the Goth Cabinet in the Broderick Room of Leeds City Museum until February next year. <br /><br />I am still at my happiest when wandering round a Victorian era cemetery, researching its context and specific history and making work inspired by it and that process. I am very glad that I have not lost that love or my enthusiasm for my subject matter. I still want to learn more.<br /><br />Nor have I lost my love for Victorian era sensation fiction and over the summer I read (for that read could barely put down) East Lynne by Ellen Wood. Oh my goodness, what a page turner of improbable occurrences, coincidences, vividly written events and characters and I enjoyed every single sentence of its gripping improbability. <br /><br />When trying to describe it to the Darling Roses WI group I said it was like Jackie Collins but without the explicit sex scenes though there is elopement which is almost the same given the time in which it was written (1861) and every bit as enjoyable though you do have to make sure your 'suspension of disbelief muscles' are in good form before you start reading it.<br /><br />So that's where I'm at and a bit of what I've been up to, I'm still in the midst of planning and researching my next steps but I hope to blog about it on the way.<br /><br />Thank you for reading :-)<br /><br /> </span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-52148421384615823222019-06-08T10:17:00.000-07:002019-06-10T05:01:15.652-07:00PhD-Ness - Part 13 Year 2 Some Work So Far...<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's been just over 6 months since I've updated my blog. For various reasons I got out of the habit but I've decided to try and get back into the habit. It's a good habit as writing up what I've been up to is a good way for me to a) collate information b) keep track of the progress I'm making and c) be able to show examples of my work. </span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This post is a mostly visual one with examples of what I've been working on over the last few months and a few words about each piece. All of the pieces shown have been made in connection with my research into the history of St George's Field, some of the people buried there and Victorian mourning culture. I'm interested in the past, how we view it and how we can collaborate with it. </span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbfZ4eOrRK6YN1bh38u-I9TgofW0Q9GYRT_9ddz5EjMU8ZwdRRVH7iRTfwyLV5aTZdvlqORaUpnD4eVFDREZVzV80NcvS8bw6J-RGlw25_3O6gbI03iKwbylK1DtMjK_sNRnv1b2_5onc/s1600/edited+close+up+of+grave+flower+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="956" data-original-width="1600" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbfZ4eOrRK6YN1bh38u-I9TgofW0Q9GYRT_9ddz5EjMU8ZwdRRVH7iRTfwyLV5aTZdvlqORaUpnD4eVFDREZVzV80NcvS8bw6J-RGlw25_3O6gbI03iKwbylK1DtMjK_sNRnv1b2_5onc/s320/edited+close+up+of+grave+flower+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Close up of memorial decorative detail on a stone nearest the Chapel at St George's Field. B+W film image. Flowers were often used on gravestones in the Victorian era, sadly this stone is missing the name plate so I cannot tell you who it was for. There is something about the fading flower covered in spiders webs against a backdrop of decaying stone that I find aesthetically pleasing and I am repeatedly drawn to it.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEiSbX81O1Ay5K0bgAjpYOdLcZ6PTb_rbiNv6If3GI0pE7pPDsuUQh43R4xtV8TRvvtoH7WI8w0a1LYCvLIX-TvW5fHrLHvlr6wSijoOwnqBDF6CntIs_fnPZcUk0sVFwbPwMJ-sa0x-I/s1600/matte+medium+image+transfer+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="641" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEiSbX81O1Ay5K0bgAjpYOdLcZ6PTb_rbiNv6If3GI0pE7pPDsuUQh43R4xtV8TRvvtoH7WI8w0a1LYCvLIX-TvW5fHrLHvlr6wSijoOwnqBDF6CntIs_fnPZcUk0sVFwbPwMJ-sa0x-I/s320/matte+medium+image+transfer+-+Copy.jpg" width="213" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is a matte medium image transfer of Anne Carr's grave. It was made using a print of a 35mm colour photograph I took of her gravestone on January 18th 2018 on what would have been the 177th anniversary of her death. I laid a yellow rose on her stone in tribute to the work she did with so called 'fallen women' who would often be made to wear yellow when housed in a workhouse. I am especially interested in the work, life and death of Anne Carr. She was the founder and Presidentess of the Female Revivalists Friendly Sick Society and she preached sermons inspired by the New Testament around the country as well as encouraging people to take the Temperance Pledge and forgo the 'demon drink'. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWLiC40zlJ78Tvkrr1GfiZ0KAeU3kGL8ktnmyqNLtHqDY6VcngGHY4tTUHs8EcZ33iJdIo4wtj6iIAm8ZrldAECWqhngZMmMhkNy4Smt_IovDg8KsBry7ejzV736p6Tpo-97ItI45xvMk/s1600/Once+and+Now+2018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWLiC40zlJ78Tvkrr1GfiZ0KAeU3kGL8ktnmyqNLtHqDY6VcngGHY4tTUHs8EcZ33iJdIo4wtj6iIAm8ZrldAECWqhngZMmMhkNy4Smt_IovDg8KsBry7ejzV736p6Tpo-97ItI45xvMk/s320/Once+and+Now+2018.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is a 35mm black and white film image of the Chapel building at St George's Field, taken with a fish eyes lens. I've been making work in and about St George's Field and researching its history and the history of some of the people buried there since 2013. This image is part of a series called Once and Now.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX7FkXtveG8FWSM8iURxqqn0EIRcraKauUSagC6IpXf57xPybflCetYYa6_D-83hZxnFiq9M_WuSWy53WpWjzxamUBtXaZzUvypTffbAUrkfcyfvYqFOgjgvInF3Bz7nOfjgRJDxDUFyg/s1600/chapel+anthotype+boosted+-+Copy+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1011" data-original-width="1316" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX7FkXtveG8FWSM8iURxqqn0EIRcraKauUSagC6IpXf57xPybflCetYYa6_D-83hZxnFiq9M_WuSWy53WpWjzxamUBtXaZzUvypTffbAUrkfcyfvYqFOgjgvInF3Bz7nOfjgRJDxDUFyg/s320/chapel+anthotype+boosted+-+Copy+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is an anthotype of the same film image made with weeds collected from the site.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrkl45UbeUXQfKwUE2r1oTMMam2Gtd8oiOz9YmeijPIAiLlYsScAEvDjBPpkw4OLbZXFwiebmwXKtdEoF3Sq1SqsHIZkHhlNHTAP5VlLkMsB15f2he9cIYV69FvJv0SUi7j0OSyQgIHwk/s1600/lumen+april++%25281%2529+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1164" data-original-width="1600" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrkl45UbeUXQfKwUE2r1oTMMam2Gtd8oiOz9YmeijPIAiLlYsScAEvDjBPpkw4OLbZXFwiebmwXKtdEoF3Sq1SqsHIZkHhlNHTAP5VlLkMsB15f2he9cIYV69FvJv0SUi7j0OSyQgIHwk/s320/lumen+april++%25281%2529+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is a lumen print of the same film image of the Chapel.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiydi6NnjtskF2ebDM2hzs1gBxnmuS-ayMbi5sevT6Yb6b2SKiA7fzwKjr-8MZoHM3GjKIRaJ1_k4iIc1jmJj_CtDJ_QzmfFcF_XNXYf6y36VSeZGdDv3gEcgDVCoDEboIbghl043rUmW8/s1600/avenue++-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiydi6NnjtskF2ebDM2hzs1gBxnmuS-ayMbi5sevT6Yb6b2SKiA7fzwKjr-8MZoHM3GjKIRaJ1_k4iIc1jmJj_CtDJ_QzmfFcF_XNXYf6y36VSeZGdDv3gEcgDVCoDEboIbghl043rUmW8/s320/avenue++-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is a 35mm black and white view of the view through the entrance to the site nearest to Clarendon Road.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKKNHLk0sO2aZ-PWlogFROMWKzLzUOBLjZUwQZDJYQH7Z2hYAFVw1aon-PT2lRvmCt1d-U6Wb_vHMHfAy4BfxeUgAYCsV-cjqCMrRK9APBb2uLTHLZoODBhzlXmbVgZ6ECZC-IToQvnbc/s1600/comfort+in+sorrow+2+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1033" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKKNHLk0sO2aZ-PWlogFROMWKzLzUOBLjZUwQZDJYQH7Z2hYAFVw1aon-PT2lRvmCt1d-U6Wb_vHMHfAy4BfxeUgAYCsV-cjqCMrRK9APBb2uLTHLZoODBhzlXmbVgZ6ECZC-IToQvnbc/s320/comfort+in+sorrow+2+-+Copy.jpg" width="206" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Comfort in Sorrow<br />This is an installation I made for the Living With Dying Conference at the Live Art Bistro in March 2018.<br />It consists of muslin soaked in a solution of dirt from St George's Fields for 3 days, along with a mix of prints of images printed on coffin lining material (generously donated by Luke Howgate and Sons, Dewsbury) and dried roses. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzmtSljx8duASJ36l7eKh4puP6uJYg-QH2U6ltItY5WUNphWHMKP55Pc97F1VlVmHfXvssuz0JLTRReHjgpAjjNqHF1xsQ8V8dA9bIMGrC3bSLcskpfcH9XuHdAvHuNzqwzTb-hMMSiE8/s1600/memory+and+reflection.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="903" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzmtSljx8duASJ36l7eKh4puP6uJYg-QH2U6ltItY5WUNphWHMKP55Pc97F1VlVmHfXvssuz0JLTRReHjgpAjjNqHF1xsQ8V8dA9bIMGrC3bSLcskpfcH9XuHdAvHuNzqwzTb-hMMSiE8/s320/memory+and+reflection.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">digital picture of reflection pic taken in the rain in April 2019 </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_VxzponzWWXQy3xcDb-KKLCfhCS1xV3xA_aetvqeuFSaeSAPZMY425BsqEZK1UUuORVH1uQ9VxYFRmwDlfzYjW71L58MG-xJsr8eu5WGCDzqXaG-kp4t6zJIw61YjLyzhFYPxuHBlTw4/s1600/obelisk+avanue+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="676" data-original-width="1014" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_VxzponzWWXQy3xcDb-KKLCfhCS1xV3xA_aetvqeuFSaeSAPZMY425BsqEZK1UUuORVH1uQ9VxYFRmwDlfzYjW71L58MG-xJsr8eu5WGCDzqXaG-kp4t6zJIw61YjLyzhFYPxuHBlTw4/s320/obelisk+avanue+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Another b+w film image view of the entrance to the site nearest to Clarendon Road </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg972KsiHiXG7bsNEgLn9S_7Fj-nrHeVcYnWpgoXc_bTDjCtxCWmFRPJGGHSa8m8GHd6HrIi51h4J88PlrwVh11900quZEN9kY0zEnLcUh0al8A3j92bnEEI3gTFJRQqQLg7OO-9B4pI2A/s1600/P1180103+-+Copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg972KsiHiXG7bsNEgLn9S_7Fj-nrHeVcYnWpgoXc_bTDjCtxCWmFRPJGGHSa8m8GHd6HrIi51h4J88PlrwVh11900quZEN9kY0zEnLcUh0al8A3j92bnEEI3gTFJRQqQLg7OO-9B4pI2A/s320/P1180103+-+Copy.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">An experiment with printers ink, rollers and leaves collected from the site.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9grfypVaHv7qQ6END_ECliUFOSjZ7Q_pQhvupK3ZhAI8YHD_kib8FW4-K3BpLaoQ8RXuUU1U-78kLRDN96hZRq7ThJKkq2-KJtoVTsLThiZA9RRi-lQ2w6bMNzkKYhC6ZyPhdoemN6qo/s1600/P1180232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1035" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9grfypVaHv7qQ6END_ECliUFOSjZ7Q_pQhvupK3ZhAI8YHD_kib8FW4-K3BpLaoQ8RXuUU1U-78kLRDN96hZRq7ThJKkq2-KJtoVTsLThiZA9RRi-lQ2w6bMNzkKYhC6ZyPhdoemN6qo/s320/P1180232.jpg" width="207" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Matte Medium Image transfer of a 35mm colour film image of the tomb of George Thwaites and family. He was an innkeeper and lived on Vicar Lane in Leeds. He died in 1855 of inflammation. This image was left on the site for 4 weeks.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFtpV5y0ctmwYnB-tBpNvGC6hmknbzCEiUAbUuVW7vNNa_c_qjk4oIqbWMhZSAMBGVtdNDZStcaj1Cdx0JyBeVKeMHx3UUW5cFEeSbvR9VYUh4u6Rnxy6ngtMEswKdrsxCgcMoZr6J7ac/s1600/Photo4533.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFtpV5y0ctmwYnB-tBpNvGC6hmknbzCEiUAbUuVW7vNNa_c_qjk4oIqbWMhZSAMBGVtdNDZStcaj1Cdx0JyBeVKeMHx3UUW5cFEeSbvR9VYUh4u6Rnxy6ngtMEswKdrsxCgcMoZr6J7ac/s320/Photo4533.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A reworking of the Comfort in Sorrow installation for the Death and the Sacred Conference at Manchester Metropolitan University March 22nd 2019</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgndi-AAx0pmn_zrlCiZIpHkJWf5AjhTdavhm9DZkPQHeQI3-eRPwPDek6AAzhJJHxBzbv2TSJuR8sBt4lPjBQmclmMbbWSQ2cSx33vB5RBXZQaKzcQ8Kwdid_HWU7sx4aNibJPQrf7x1w/s1600/P1180722.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgndi-AAx0pmn_zrlCiZIpHkJWf5AjhTdavhm9DZkPQHeQI3-eRPwPDek6AAzhJJHxBzbv2TSJuR8sBt4lPjBQmclmMbbWSQ2cSx33vB5RBXZQaKzcQ8Kwdid_HWU7sx4aNibJPQrf7x1w/s320/P1180722.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Work in progress - rubbings of various parts of the site. One of the things I'm interested in trying to achieve is a kind of collaboration with the site. </span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm1WrIclrI_rzMdnbqIVcnxmsB7Sxr39r_nXE9zaPCIx6Zo1R2-O_hVJeS47DHA2tvseMbjGoX7ttqH2RSd0XD98-fFn_RQ4Jj7crJHx7yghuudrj9MpbvS0OxRKKwvlaqzp-clVFKnVM/s1600/IMG_20180930_164120+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm1WrIclrI_rzMdnbqIVcnxmsB7Sxr39r_nXE9zaPCIx6Zo1R2-O_hVJeS47DHA2tvseMbjGoX7ttqH2RSd0XD98-fFn_RQ4Jj7crJHx7yghuudrj9MpbvS0OxRKKwvlaqzp-clVFKnVM/s320/IMG_20180930_164120+-+Copy.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">view of Once and Now - show at Kapow Coffee, Thorntons Arcade, Leeds October 2018-November 2018<br />2d printed and framed work</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCQBHJOO9Thdsua9M3NkkPbrKKII1VpF9n7CyF0d4PfndPG0UfOMdlMOIhvV_R-KBjpy6FnpnVcbCQm12smcMQU9uYOarEzrT9yHam3GTm1-ZYW23DKN05dBR9z_t-XLmQDUoYy7jzxD4/s1600/embroidery+hoops.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="923" data-original-width="1231" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCQBHJOO9Thdsua9M3NkkPbrKKII1VpF9n7CyF0d4PfndPG0UfOMdlMOIhvV_R-KBjpy6FnpnVcbCQm12smcMQU9uYOarEzrT9yHam3GTm1-ZYW23DKN05dBR9z_t-XLmQDUoYy7jzxD4/s320/embroidery+hoops.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Close up of hoops - images are 35mm film images heat transferred onto on coffin lining material and hoops covered with purple and grey bias binding, purple and grey are colours associated with Victorian mourning.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjbWgVl2j6gSEHuJanRboqSzf05J_LENezqLxnUXqiEv_6N_ChDMRbppq6r3Z-hkN3lQ8qr-DrGQP27wvIARYOFC8NVyzVriReAA8OB1Hz2h53-4IkLNagFxS5OxIKZY_aojJI83_cyGs/s1600/work+in+progress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="717" data-original-width="1600" height="143" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjbWgVl2j6gSEHuJanRboqSzf05J_LENezqLxnUXqiEv_6N_ChDMRbppq6r3Z-hkN3lQ8qr-DrGQP27wvIARYOFC8NVyzVriReAA8OB1Hz2h53-4IkLNagFxS5OxIKZY_aojJI83_cyGs/s320/work+in+progress.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">works in progress - matte medium image transfers of 35mm film images of the Chapel at St George's Fields </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">
</span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-44706465217438139772018-11-19T06:00:00.004-08:002018-11-19T06:45:39.376-08:00PhD-Ness Part 12 year 2 Doing, Reading, Looking, Doing, Afternoon Tea-ing with Heroes <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPa3ECW_o8w6Nyx2RavlfC7-f8COMYIj045A9YNPkvsmBgVmGsgowtkTNJGHWx8zeBgygXimQ5KOChanX0DcOxIXUjC0TmZ27bOg_qAIzDeH3B8441Lie7jqWo23D1Yeo0TvHML-_ubRc/s1600/me+and+jw+nov+2018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1323" data-original-width="1600" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPa3ECW_o8w6Nyx2RavlfC7-f8COMYIj045A9YNPkvsmBgVmGsgowtkTNJGHWx8zeBgygXimQ5KOChanX0DcOxIXUjC0TmZ27bOg_qAIzDeH3B8441Lie7jqWo23D1Yeo0TvHML-_ubRc/s400/me+and+jw+nov+2018.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /><br />This was my fifth encounter with one of my all time heroes - my 'filth elder' and 'Pope of Puke' John Waters - after his excellent show at Liverpool Philharmonic Hall in Liverpool on Saturday November 10th. I also had the incredible treat of going to afternoon tea with him the day before at the rather lovely Hope Hotel. I adore Mr Waters and his work - he makes me laugh and he makes me think which has to be one of the best combinations ever. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I usually shy away from being in front of the camera lens but I make an exception for Mr Waters - partly because I still can't quite believe I have met him and so I wanted photographic proof. This pic was taken by my lovely ever supportive husband.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have been a fan of Mr Waters and his work since I was 15 and saw an advert for Pink Flamingos (1974) (a film of his I didn't actually see for a long time after I became a fan) in the promotional booklet for Palace Video my Dad brought back from the video shop (remember them?) and though I love all his films my favourites are Serial Mom (1994) , Cecil B Demented (2000) - sadly though I found out in conversation with Mr Waters that none of the cinemas featured in that film exist anymore and I also adore Polyester (1981) - I am ever so slightly in love with the dastardly Todd Tomorrow played so beautifully by Tab Hunter.... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">If I could have told my 15 year old self that one day my fifty year old self would be sat next to him I doubt very much that she would have believed me but she would have been thrilled to think that such a thing could even be a possibility....and also very relieved that her fifty year old self in spite of being beside herself with glee just about managed to be coherent, didn't spill or drop anything at the afternoon tea and was also able to thank him for making her laugh and think and for being such a fantastic ongoing inspiration.</span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZtwp32yXjnHRn7xrU2PWHENemUnjCtda9-3JV57wg7aEfmyHtWNQvoHjpvlHz9CwlRur0mNfvNcnApk5ksSaDSdU9OwmpTQB07nK6KLo5Aii241T8oJgoKAExXKGEbS1LSWiYw4krv18/s1600/Photo4347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZtwp32yXjnHRn7xrU2PWHENemUnjCtda9-3JV57wg7aEfmyHtWNQvoHjpvlHz9CwlRur0mNfvNcnApk5ksSaDSdU9OwmpTQB07nK6KLo5Aii241T8oJgoKAExXKGEbS1LSWiYw4krv18/s400/Photo4347.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Post it note, signed afternoon tea menu, hoops I'm working on and with</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'd got into a habit of updating weekly again but after a conversation with my tutor who advised that my writing energies would be better directed elsewhere - namely into the actual writing I have to do for this Phd malarkey, so although I like to think that my blog is also academic reflexive writing I have been concentrating upon writing about the methodology I am using for my research into uncovering the hidden history of women buried in St George's Field. <br /><br />Albeit with limited success so far in terms of a word count and structure I am happy with so I thought I'd do a blog post again to try and clear/order my thoughts again before I face my methodology chapter again or rather part thereof. progress has been further hampered by coming down with cough/cold/flu lurgy over the past few days meaning I have had next to no concentration span as opposed to a fairly limited one and so not made as much progress as I would have liked nor have I been able to go for my usual weightlifting sessions but as I woke up this morning without an immediate coughing session, an earworm of 'Long Live Our Love' by The Shangri Las, and an opening sentence that I'm pleased with fully formed - I'm hoping I can make much more and better progress today. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I also wanted to make a note - albeit in brief of the exhibitions/galleries I have been to over the last month:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Manchester Art Gallery Feb 2018-Jan 2019 <i>Annie Swinnerton:Painting Light and Hope</i> r</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">wonderful to see an exhibition of paintings by a woman, my favourites amongst the paintings on show were her portraits - especially the ones of Reverend William Gaskell and Dame Millicent Fawcett, and a society portrait of a young lady in a gorgeous black dress as well as her sensitive and expressive portraits of working women.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Walker Art Gallery permanent collection Liverpool</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Utterly stunning collection of paintings - huge Victorian narrative paintings as well as portraits and thought provoking medieval religious art too. The medieval altar piece triptych Master of the Aachen Altarpiece 1485-1515 has a skull (one of my favourite motifs at its base as well as bits of bones) and one of the most graphically gruesome crucifixion scenes I've ever seen. The thieves also being crucified either side of Jesus had had their thigh muscles cut in order to prevent them standing up but it was paintings from the Georgian and Victorian eras which had the most impact for me.<br /><br /><i>The Ruins of Holyrood Chapel</i> 1824 by Louis Daguerre (yep that Daguerre of photographic invention fame) made me exclaim 'oh wow' out loud and I looked at it from various viewpoints for ages - I still want to walk amongst its exquisitely painted moonlit remains, I also stood and gazed with wonder at Fourniers<i> Funeral of Shelley</i> 1889 and I spent a good couple of hours just sitting gazing at 18th and 19th century treasures. Huge narrative paintings and works by Waterhouse, Alma Tadema, Holman Hunt, Rossetti and other Pre-Raphaelite wonders - just visually drinking them in. Simply stunning paintings. Also pleasing to see some paintings by women as opposed to just paintings of women as well as a highlighting of LGTBQ artists and subject matter.<br /><br />It has made me want to return to Liverpool to spend more time there - partly to drink in the wonderful surviving Georgian and Victorian architecture, to walk on the waterfront and go to the Tate and St James Cemetery but also to visit the International Slavery Museum based there so as to get a better understanding of the impact of slavery as well as a much better understanding of the history of slavery and its role not just in the history of Liverpool but the UK as a whole.<br /><br />Along with trips to Liverpool to see one of my living idols I've also been to York to see the paper trail of one of my dead idols - Ann Carr's will written some 3 months before her death is kept at the Borthwick Institute at York University. It was quite something to be able to hold it in my hands, and see her signature. She leaves everything to her partner Martha Williams who is described throughout as Ann's Sister in Christ. Ann's signature is very thin and frail looking compared to the rest of the writing - presumably done by her solicitor. It was a fascinating document and a real privilege to be able to read it and I am very pleased it has survived.<br /><br />Well I'd best crack on - I've made some good progress on my to do list so far but still got a huge amount to do which aside from writing also includes going back to St George's Field to recover some of the matte medium images I left there to see what impact being in the field has on them or even if they're still there...<br /><br />One day my to do list will not only be shorter but also completed in a timely manner....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-81129147629253425792018-10-15T10:18:00.001-07:002018-10-15T15:27:16.409-07:00Phd-ness Part 11, Year 2, Doing, Reading, Doing. <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvKUpMxDt0VgYsU1EH8D3eZj6Bq1MKG6kiJj0CfLV5ogP-R4v9ChZTWeo1QKjfRfBTyhVyuGYpm0nwwiSpJZ8sjgGRsRJhJHQp7TjND7G8B3NJ5YoI-oY20VSMi1jQMfWQ4xSULLqLR6o/s1600/P1180114.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvKUpMxDt0VgYsU1EH8D3eZj6Bq1MKG6kiJj0CfLV5ogP-R4v9ChZTWeo1QKjfRfBTyhVyuGYpm0nwwiSpJZ8sjgGRsRJhJHQp7TjND7G8B3NJ5YoI-oY20VSMi1jQMfWQ4xSULLqLR6o/s400/P1180114.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some instant pictures of St George's Field taken yesterday in the rain, my post it note for this week, an old photo taken of me (can't remember who by though) in 1987 in what I think must be St Marks Churchyard which I found whilst sorting out old boxes of stuff, and aside from the fact that I am much more likely to hide from the camera and be behind the lens taking the picture these days and the fact that I have eaten a lot of pies between then and now I don't look all that different really as in same hair colour, similar clothes, similar jewellery and load of bracelets on right arm, same love of grave monuments - though my appreciation of them these days is different and I don't think I would lean against one in such a blase manner these days.<br /><br />Also pictured is one of the necklaces I made yesterday out of 'doll parts' available from Poundland as part of their Halloween range and some ribbon and silver beads I already had in. My friend and fellow artist Hayley Mills-Styles has a necklace she made out of a porcelain dolls head and that inspired me to make a dolls part necklace for myself. I painted the red nail varnish on the dolls fingers with a fine red permanent marker before threading them onto black ribbon using a darning needle.</span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's been a week of tidying and sorting - hence my finding that photograph and some others also featuring me in St Marks Churchyard. I lived in Woodhouse when I was a student and used to cut through the churchyard to get to lectures and loved it as a space but purely on an aesthetic level then. I had no idea or appreciation of the wider history or practice of Victorian mourning culture then. I don't think the graveyard space is accessible anymore though, the last couple of times I've been there it has been cordoned off with metal fencing and signs saying it isn't safe.<br /><br />Back in the nineteenth century there was great rivalry between the respective reverends of St Marks and St George's Field, they disagreed with regard as to who provided the best burial services as well as on religious grounds. St Marks was a Church of England site and the people who were behind St George's Field were Non Conformists. <br /><br />It's also been a week of rummaging about in libraries - namely the collection of maps and trade directories from the nineteenth century held in the Local and Family History section of Leeds Central Library. I know have a better idea of the size and location of the Leylands, exactly where Ann Carr lived and worked (I thought it was at the back of the Reliance but it was actually nearer down towards Regent Street) and it was a thrill to see her name and address and Martha Williams (her partner in Christ) in the trade directories along with the times of the services at the Female Revivalists Chapel. 10.30am, 2.30pm and 6.30pm on a Sunday and 7pm on a Monday evening apparently. Sadly though I am no wiser as to the age of the cobbles aka setts on Lower Brunswick Street and whether or not they were contemporaneous to Ann but I've still learnt a lot more about where she and Martha lived so I'm happy about that.<br /><br />Along with rummaging about in libraries and breathing in that delicious smell of old musty books (which apparently is actually the smell of the paper decaying) I also attended a very excellent talk on the history of Central Library, a performance of Frankenstein at Leeds Library which was great - and unusual in that you as the audience followed a silent but expressive Viktor around the library whilst listening to an excellent adaptation on headphones and I went back to St George's Field after not having been for a while in the rain yesterday and took some pictures using my Instax mini 70 and a colour film disposable camera I got a long time ago. I'm not one hundred percent certain where it came from but I think it might have been from a seaside tat shop in Cleethorpes and it has a 'develop before 03-2014' stamped on the bottom. It has flash as well and amazingly that bit of it still worked - I used it because I wanted to take pictures in the rain and for the flash to reflect off the raindrops. I still have 9 pictures to take before I get it developed. I don't know what film speed it is as it is just labelled 'high speed'.<br /><br />I also collected some leaves whilst I was there, some of the yellow ones I left as offerings on Ann Carr's grave and some I brought home and experimented with/on using black printers ink and this was the result. I'm quite pleased with it and husband really likes it. Part of the reasoning behind this kind of experimentation is I'm trying to capture something of the actual physical essence of the place, something a little bit more than site specific. Think I have a lot more experimentation to do before I find a way I'm happy with. I might try watered down acrylic paint next time instead.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqLIUFD_1U3SC6XLQWQU6dg-9LAX_hZ_hU1w5JxdHNTO4ohtGwflg8QU6gT37G_2kU52X3K0oES2URr9tr1_FbN-5YPQNOCw6pVTcJtPW2flJT3BmlgWAFk-darMZuNaLWKB4ZsQhlOC8/s1600/P1180103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqLIUFD_1U3SC6XLQWQU6dg-9LAX_hZ_hU1w5JxdHNTO4ohtGwflg8QU6gT37G_2kU52X3K0oES2URr9tr1_FbN-5YPQNOCw6pVTcJtPW2flJT3BmlgWAFk-darMZuNaLWKB4ZsQhlOC8/s400/P1180103.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />I've also been doing some experimenting with kinetic drawing/mark making (where you line a tube with paper and enclose it with chalk or soft pastel) and I have made some progress with that as I've got a new container to put the paper in and thanks to doing more sorting and tidying workroom wise I've found some thin paper it will work better on. It's a pad of Daler A3 layout paper which is 45gsm and some 20gsm lighter than the 75gsm printer paper I had been using. I plan to do different walks around St George's Field with the paper and pastel in their tube at the bottom of my bag.<br /><br />One of the things I've been thinking about this week and especially after catching five minutes of Coronation Street (a programme I have been conscious of since being in my mothers womb as she has been a fan and avid watcher since it started) is memorialisation. The character Jim McDonald was looking at an old photo album looking wistful and Liz McDonald pointed out to him that it's only the good memories that get put in albums. Leaving aside that this is a soap family and so had more than their fair share of traumatic events I think the point still stands.<br /><br />So as ever - lots to think about, lots still to do. Maybe I need to be more like my beloved John Waters who in an interview I saw this week writes everything he need to do in a day on an index card and crosses it off as he does it. Referenced in his artwork '308 Days' currently on show in his retrospective Indecent Exposure at Baltimore Museum of Art. My to do lists remain frustratingly mostly uncrossed off....but I did write and get the slides ready for the talk I'm giving about my work on Friday 19th October at 6pm upstairs at Kapow and I also did quite a bit of reading.<br /><b><br />Programmes/films watched</b><br />various promotional interviews with John Waters for his retrospective Indecent Exposure.<br /><br /><b>Books Read</b><br />see previous entry<br /><br /><b>Exhibitions visited </b><br />none<br /><br /><b>Films Watched</b><br />Lenz H (director) 2018 <i>Kusama Infinity</i> UK Magnolia Pictures<br />Utterly gorgeous, uplifting and thought provoking film about the life and work of Yayoi Kusama. Featuring a mix of footage of her works,exhibitions and happenings, interviews with her and gallery owners, friends and critics. Also interesting in terms of the relationship between mental health and creativity and how being creative stops her from killing herself and the obstacles she battles with in terms of being a Japanese woman in the western art world.</span>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-81999764962497009832018-10-08T09:56:00.000-07:002018-10-08T10:59:32.758-07:00PhD-ness Part 10 Year 2 Doing, Showing, Listening, Study Level Differences, Brain Weasels and Potential Collaborations <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbGQ5OnqnpTC49JjNN5HcYggPoclJ5gFj8VZKqeG5tzjvql75EMYrlOAfdRwqDvj1jl9lGMuPSw8EfMc6RBydlm2uuznIjJhVQTgxUgq12PfrHs5kO7m3tLkuniJMEZEUM7nOndggaj0Q/s1600/IMG_20180930_164120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbGQ5OnqnpTC49JjNN5HcYggPoclJ5gFj8VZKqeG5tzjvql75EMYrlOAfdRwqDvj1jl9lGMuPSw8EfMc6RBydlm2uuznIjJhVQTgxUgq12PfrHs5kO7m3tLkuniJMEZEUM7nOndggaj0Q/s320/IMG_20180930_164120.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">View of my show 'Once and Now - part of the Love Arts Festival, on until November 3rd upstairs at Kapow 15 Thorntons Arcade Leeds </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7j2Z8GNca8eFavJcyzZWwJb-uo4J62HbQ-I03NDVMSgmCBGzJIL78teBVRgBz9MgMkMXuRZfWoqSpY-z8z5NfnQUFMh0r6i3SZKTlPGUdkUE2pjfzwQEIkyJv2swEyv55JaLKBQuv8Ow/s1600/P1020408.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7j2Z8GNca8eFavJcyzZWwJb-uo4J62HbQ-I03NDVMSgmCBGzJIL78teBVRgBz9MgMkMXuRZfWoqSpY-z8z5NfnQUFMh0r6i3SZKTlPGUdkUE2pjfzwQEIkyJv2swEyv55JaLKBQuv8Ow/s320/P1020408.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">some of the things I use to make work on a day to day basis - now thanks to workroom reorganising, bookcase buying and wardrobe wrangling all on their own shelf and easily located and used </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlqMWH-CcsIBoPRvhlHZuJmbTmzOZsVu85YYCJqTEhMhz6sEvCgVq7ZqN6klRH4aTCsB3nabe_s78lxLZtT3FLqv6oKWGCcae1kK19B1oUF2LvnhIjclQtqG4nDrBf9L7PKEL9mUn-UEE/s1600/P1020409.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlqMWH-CcsIBoPRvhlHZuJmbTmzOZsVu85YYCJqTEhMhz6sEvCgVq7ZqN6klRH4aTCsB3nabe_s78lxLZtT3FLqv6oKWGCcae1kK19B1oUF2LvnhIjclQtqG4nDrBf9L7PKEL9mUn-UEE/s320/P1020409.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some of the books I'm wading my way through on the new shelves </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq6fPGiEyDPjM6F6jpO2DcKop2KR51mU4CJdZZFh20vqvIHVSfROmx9jjPSadm568yiQWNhn5ucUGtKKvslxrFdw-pgjnDJVZrvSZtBA77NhnRaG4u2WByql4yB2LCawDwKM_yPkB4QIo/s1600/P1020410.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq6fPGiEyDPjM6F6jpO2DcKop2KR51mU4CJdZZFh20vqvIHVSfROmx9jjPSadm568yiQWNhn5ucUGtKKvslxrFdw-pgjnDJVZrvSZtBA77NhnRaG4u2WByql4yB2LCawDwKM_yPkB4QIo/s320/P1020410.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this weeks post it note with the programme from the exhibition, and two of the books I bought this week - the Lee Miller one is from the now closed Lee Miller and British Surrealism that was on at the Hepworth which I visited this weekend and was very marvellous indeed and a book on modern photography I bought from the John Ryland library when I went over to Manchester to listen to Royal Photographic Society member Gilly Read talk about early Victorian photography at the Cross Street Chapel - a different building to the Cross Street Chapel Elizabeth Gaskell went to (that one was destroyed by a bomb in 1940 and it has been rebuilt twice since then) but in the same location. The books full title is 'Why it does not have to be in focus' by Jackie Higgins and published by Thames and Hudson and I am finding it really interesting as it's a list of different modern photographers, with an image, a brief outline of their work, some quotes, similar pieces to look up, the kind of equipment they use. I am finding it very useful and I wish there was a companion volume called 'why it does not have to be pretty' which I could give to my Mum as her usual response to the work of mine that she has seen is 'oh that's nice' and then on closer inspection 'oh no it isn't!! why can't you do something pretty??'. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So as you might be able to tell from the above images last week was a particularly busy one - I spent a day in Manchester listening to an interesting talk by Gilly Read on early Victorian photography and some of the photographers working in Manchester, I spent a day in Huddersfield doing some printing and attending some PGR Informed Researcher Lectures - the series this year is looking especially useful from a practice based/practice led PhD point of view. I'm really pleased about this and hopefully it will still be in time to help me with my studies. There was some training and lectures last year (ie in my first year) but there were initial issues over location of the lectures and the lectures as a whole felt much more slanted towards and more relevant for traditional style PhDs.<br /><br />The lectures last week were especially thought provoking and interesting to the point where it led into a spiral of thoughts along the lines of 'I'm not clever enough for this' and 'how am I ever going to get my head around this?' and 'oh how am I ever going to get this sorted?'. To compound those feelings there was sadness on the way home as the trains were delayed because of someone killing themselves on the tracks described as 'emergency services having to deal with an incident'. This made me feel especially sad - that someone should have felt so sad and desperate that they chose to do this and the terrible effect it can have on the train driver, passengers on that particular train and the emergency service personnel who are called in.<br /><br />It took me some time to regain my equilibrium the following day and to feel more positive and on top of things again, or to at least have a plan to feel more on top of things again. I am still working on my research plan alongside continuing to do the more straightforward archive delving for information on some of the women buried in St George's Field. Last week I paid someone else to do the delving for Ann Carr's will at the Borthwick Institute at York University and in return they sent me a colour A3 photocopy of that remarkable document. Written in October 1840 just three months before her death Ann leaves more or less everything to her 'sister in Christ' Martha Williams, who according to the document is actually a Quaker. By then Ann was seriously ill and fading.<br /><br />I need to read it again and write it out so that it is easier to read. The faded to brown ink is mostly legible but bits are only legible by slowly and painfully making out each word or by getting the gist of the sentence so that the bit you can't read either suddenly makes sense or narrows it down to a few words it could be until you hit on the right one. It also has the signature of Ann - faint compared to the rest of the document, and the signature of Martha Williams and the witnesses bold in comparison. I am going to make an appointment to go and see it in person now, it is an amazing document and fills me with awe and wonder that I will be able to see and maybe even touch albeit with gloved hand a piece of paper they both touched.<br /><br />This to me is magic, that such a thing has survived. I don't literally believe in magic but there is a tiny part of me that hopes there is some kind of apotropaic quality to seeing and touching such a document, not in an evil averting kind of way but in a good luck bringing kind of way. I think the power of touch or actually being in the place where someone from the past and long dead is really important even if it can't cure scrofula*. I think it's part of the reason that tourism is still thriving in an age when you can do virtual tours of almost everywhere and anywhere. I think it's a very human thing that wherever possible we need to see and touch things for ourselves. Although understandable and something I abide by it always seems sad when there is a sign saying 'please do not touch' next to what appears to be a fantastically tactile object in an art gallery.<br /><br />Along with the excitement of seeing Ann Carr's signature albeit in facsimile form, I also had the excitement of hearing about early photographic methods and photographers based in Manchester at the talk by Gilly Read at Cross Street Chapel. Not only did I learn a little more about the early photographic pioneers and why the cleaning of daguerreotypes should only be left to professionals with experience on how to clean them but I got to learn that information in the space that Elizabeth Gaskell worshipped in and where her husband was minister over 100 years ago. In the wall of the building is the remains of the fulsome headstone her husband Reverend William Gaskell had had erected for her. Damaged during the bombing raid in 1940 it is missing its bottom left hand corner but is otherwise readily legible.<br /><br />Along with this excitement there was also the thrill (for me anyway) of the official launch of my show 'Once and Now' (title taken from North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell) upstairs at Kapow in Thorntons Arcade on Thursday. I should have taken a clicker counter and so properly counted everyone who came but I did make a list as soon as I got home and I could remember 31 and not all of the visitors were friends though the majority were. I was very nervous but it went well - something I should perhaps ascribe to the halloween themed sweets I was handing out to visitors. Their positive response and asking of questions about the images and the stories of the people named on the stone sin the images also helped me feel more on track again. A couple of artist friends who came along have also asked me if I'd be interested in working with them on collaborative pieces and I would. That would be a whole new world of excitement and learning.<br /><br />So I didn't do much doing last week, in fact the matte medium transfers I started making the week before are still waiting for the paper to be rubbed away with tepid water and I haven't taken any new pictures for a while, despite having a couple of new to me cameras to play with, but I have been doing a lot of listening and a lot of showing and a lot of thinking and a bit of reading.<br /><br />One of the things I've been thinking about is the differences between MA and PhD levels of study and how you evidence it. Both require commitment and self direction, the PhD even more self direction is required as unlike the MA I did it is not taught. The postgraduate lecture series I attend is not subject specific but general PhD process specific. I am absolutely loving the picture making and ferreting about in archives side of things but finding remembering the books and articles I've read more difficult - in spire of making notes about them and am unsure on how best to reference them in this blog. I'm also unsure as to the purpose of this blog and who it is for. It is a way of advertising my work on the internet and a good way for me to get my head around what it is I've been doing but am not sure it serves the same research journal purpose it did when I was doing my MA and whether or not that way I write on here is suitable for PhD inclusion.<br /><br />So as ever much food for thought.....<br /><br /><u>Programmes/Films Watched</u><br />I accessed a documentary through the kanopy website of films through my membership of Huddersfield Uni library for my husband to watch about space, it didn't have a narrator as such as it was made of clips of footage shot at the time either on the training programme or in Mission Control. I didn't really pay it any attention other than being fascinated by the man who was smoking a pipe at his desk in Mission Control and the differences between hairstyles of those who appeared to be from a military background and those who didn't. There were no women in the footage at all, despite there being women who worked for NASA at the time, neither did there appear to be anyone from a minority ethnic background when there were ethic minority employees. <br /><br /><u>Books Read</u><br />Higgins,J (2013) <i>Why It Does Not Have To Be In Focus</i> UK Thames and Hudson<br />Clayton,E.(Eds.).(2018) <i>Lee Miller and Surrealism in Britain </i>UK Lund Humphries in Association with the Hepworth Wakefield<br /><br /><u><br />Exhibitions Attended</u><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #080808;">Miller, l. (2018). </span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #080808;">Leed Miller and Surrealism in Britain</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #080808;">. [visual art ] Exhibited at the Hepworth, Wakefield , 22 June 2018- 7 Oct 2018 .</span>I have long been a fan of surrealist art, I fell in love with the work of Rene Magritte on seeing the homage to his painting The Pleasure Principle on the cover of The Pleasure Principle by Gary Numan. So it was exciting for me to see a Magritte cloud painted face of Napoleon's death mask high up on the wall. There were works from a range of artists and publications in various formats - prints, recreations of objects - most notably for me the bracelet around a mannequins forearm made of little false teeth set in pink resin by originally made by Miller, as well as the lobster topped telephone in white, a typewriter with nails glued to the keys, and the recreation of the metronome by Man Ray with the eye of Lee Miller atop it. There was also a painting by Leonara Carrington called Pastoral which portrayed delightfully spectral beings. There also many photographs by Lee Miller ranging from ones of her fellow surrealists including Carrington, her partner Roland Penrose, and one of her most infamous photographs where she is bathing in Hitlers bath shortly after his defeat.<br /><br />I think this is where I struggle most with writing this blog - do I keep it in what I hope is an accessible un-academic jargon free format or do I write about what I've seen in a way that is more properly academic but also a way that I feel is a more inaccessible more academic art english kind of way with in text citations and references? I don't know....<br /><br />But here are some of the quotes and notes I made in my notebook as I was walking around the Hepworth.<br /><br />The writer William Plomer (1903-1973) said in an article in the London Bulletin after an exhibition opened just after the evacuation from Dunkirk 'culture foreshadows events,sustains hopes and invigorates the human heart'<br /><br />The painter Ithell Calquhoun (1906-1988) was expelled form surrealist circles because of her interest in the occult.<br /><br />Max Ernst's sculptural bird was called Loplop.<br /><br />Stephen Gill photographer buried some of his work where he took the pictures so that 'maybe the spirit of the place can also make its mark' which I find both intriguing and inspiring. I am going to have to find out more about him and his work.<br /><br />Perhaps the most disturbing and powerful piece though was Millers photographs of a cancerous breast removed from a patient and photographed upon a plate with cutlery placed next to the plate and on a napkin. <br /><br /><br /><br />* in years gone by it was believed that the touch of a royal personage either by you touching them or them touching you could cure disease most notably that of scrofula aka tuberculous cervical lymphadenitis.</span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-41102919798501162982018-10-01T09:05:00.002-07:002018-10-01T09:06:08.246-07:00PhD-Ness Part 9 Year 2 - Making, Doing, Changing Place of Working, Feeling Bit Overfaced, Show Preparation <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg07JgQSXBMApjvYTmZWntzGI6vAt_VdWuRqx8z-K5fANsjO2APPaEK3NDNFCYn8rIancys_1eToKjPFUadq9xqMSWQExqyH2bbSKVYbTpgRFz5AEcRrFZX97aqYF2ajg74MEfw9MAYNQE/s320/P1020401.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">this weeks post it note and things I've been making</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg07JgQSXBMApjvYTmZWntzGI6vAt_VdWuRqx8z-K5fANsjO2APPaEK3NDNFCYn8rIancys_1eToKjPFUadq9xqMSWQExqyH2bbSKVYbTpgRFz5AEcRrFZX97aqYF2ajg74MEfw9MAYNQE/s1600/P1020401.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEievXc4at3xr4AOrgh9C_TGkoEb5L9VoYESU2Q0ef_dmAqEurcpP4hdpqdRCpp1HjoO5G5_OdW3Tf4D_7gyUICs28ZOpHy67mLhG5A360G0naxo8YPfKflHKkVCwmmX-pEXn6edK86dew0/s320/IMG_20180930_164120.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">Preview of Once and Now - part of the Love Arts Festival - upstairs at Kapow Coffee Thorntons Arcade Leeds - official launch Thursday 4th October 5pm - 7pm </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEievXc4at3xr4AOrgh9C_TGkoEb5L9VoYESU2Q0ef_dmAqEurcpP4hdpqdRCpp1HjoO5G5_OdW3Tf4D_7gyUICs28ZOpHy67mLhG5A360G0naxo8YPfKflHKkVCwmmX-pEXn6edK86dew0/s1600/IMG_20180930_164120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It's been a busy week - even if the post it note is only filled from two thirds of the way down - I've been doing a bit of painting of Halloween goodies I've bought from Hobbycraft. I think I might still add some features to the coffins (handles made with silver pen) and then use them as jewellery boxes. I might glue a skull on one of them - I've made some of the skulls into brooches thanks to brooch backs and UHU glue. I'm quite messy though when it comes to glue but at least they haven't fallen off as yet...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I've also been doing some more matte medium transfers - this time in colour as well as black and white and pictured are two I completely finished last week, the ones I've been working this week are on canvas and still at the stage where the paper is on them - I haven't photographed them as until the paper is wet and rubbed away they just look like paper. The images underneath the paper are in colour.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I've been doing some doing as I've been struggling to read/write and formulate some thoughts on my working methods and how best to co-ordinate my research plan. I've made some progress but not as much progress as I would like but after reading and re-reading 'Ere the substance fade: photography and hair jewellery' by Geoffrey Batchen (his chapter in Photographs Objects Histories - On The Materiality of Images by Elizabeth Edwards and Janice Hart 2004) and struggling to make sense of it or rather failing to take in all the points I think he was trying to make in it, I decided to take it to a local cafe (Tandem in Meanwood) and try and make sense of it there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I'm not sure whether it was because I'd read it before or if my brain was in better shape that day or if it was the change of location so I didn't get distracted by the tinternet but it suddenly began to make better sense to me. He's talking about the absence of jewellery that contains images of loved ones in the histories of photography though they have been written about in material culture terms. He then talks about their physical characteristics, how they are photography in motion and a physical trace of the people in the photographs - especially when hair is included in the jewellery along with the photograph and become talismanic in some way. Fascinating.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I think I am going to try the tactic of moving away from my desk when I am stuck with something - when it's something I can do away from my desk. Reading and thinking I don't need to be at my desk I could do that in another room in the house. I usually use commuting time to do reading.<br /><br />But I think the biggest thing I've been doing this week is getting everything ready for my show Once and Now which opens officially upstairs at Kapow Coffee Thorntons Arcade this Thursday from 5pm-7pm and will be on til the end of the month. It was lovely to be able to afford to get them properly framed - and I am really pleased with the job North Leeds Framing did for me. I wanted them to be reminiscent of Victorian era mourning cards and have thick black borders and after advice and testing of various backing card colours I decided on the cream. Cream isn't normally a colour I'd consider as I am very wedded to black, white, grey, purple and shades thereof (the colours most associated with Victorian mourning customs) but I am very glad I was persuaded to try it as it really brought something to the prints - the bulk of them are printed on transparent medium either tracing paper or acetate so the colour of the backing paper really makes or breaks them.<br /><br />I've been trying to write this post for most of this afternoon, along with some details to go with the the images in Kapow and I've really struggled compared to last week when it just seemed to flow much better. Though part of the reason last weeks post seemed so much easier to write was because I missed off the programmes/films watched/books read/exhibitions attended section.<br /><br />Oh well - here's hoping the words and the comprehension flows more easily this week.<br /><br /><b>Programmes Films Watched:</b><br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Cousins M (writer,director,producer)
2018 <i>Eyes of Orson Welles</i> UK Dogwoof</span></b><span style="line-height: 115%;"> <br />
An amazing film which more than once made me go ‘wow’ as the images contained
in it were so stunning – it was the story of a man who knew Welles film work
really well and who wanted to see through Orson's eyes by looking at his
paintings and drawings. Split into different sections it covered aspects of his
professional life – onscreen, onstage, on radio and his personal life
interspersed with clips from his films and interviews. His daughter now in her
60’s also features along with views of his paintings/drawings of places and
what they look like now. The soundtrack was a mix of traffic noise, Welles
himself speaking, narrator speaking, conversation, or the sound and sight of an
ink pen scratching on the surface of a piece of paper, some of the
drawings/images were somehow animated to see how they were put together – some
monochrome, some alive with colour but all expressive, revealing and joyous.
Wonderful to watch. Really must watch his version of Macbeth that has been on the tellybox for ages.<br /><br /> </span><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Varda A, JR (directors)
2017 <i>Faces/Places</i> France Cine Tamaris</span></b><span style="line-height: 115%;"></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">
Absolutely enchanting and beautiful film which follows Adnes and JR deciding on
a plan of driving around villages in his large format printing seaside van gogh studio style van, taking pictures of ordinary people and pasting them on walls – including a
woman who is the last in a row of cottages lived in by miners with stories of
their fathers hard and dangerous work in the mine,then onto a woman posing with
a parasol saying how she found it difficult afterwards because she is a shy
person and so many people came to see her photo pasted on a wall, farmers –
arable with machines who does it all on his own proudly emblazoned on the side
of his barn, chemical process workers in a big chemical plant – glorious to see
fish pasted large on the side of the water tower (fish Agnes had taken pics of
directed by JR as she has problems with her eyesight – the scene of the
injection into her eyeball made me proper wince/flinch) chatting easily to
people gathering for a picnic/photo session in an abandoned before being
finished village, a picture of Agnes old now dead friend on a bunker abandoned
on the beach, pics of her eyes and feet on the side of trains, goat farmers –
one who burns off the horns of the goat and one who doesn’t – the one who
doesn’t was better and favoured, an utterly glorious romp around the Louvre
with JR pushing her in a wheelchair – a nod to a scene of one of her films, a
pilgrimage to Cartier Bressons grave and 3 women upon the sides of shipping
containers. Devoid of complicated art- just a really beautiful connection between Agnes, JR and the people they
photographed and worked with – including between JR and his team. Completely
feel good – asked why they did it, why not? And also to see where their
imagination could take them.<br />
Enchanting. It was also a kind of
friendship love story between her and him – especially when let down by Godard
who also wore sunglasses all the time when he reveals his eyes to Agnes only
and we see them blurred – same as her. Really heartwarming - left the cinema with a big smile on my face.<br /><br /><b>Books:<br />Elizabeth,E.,& Hart, J. (2004). <i>Photographs Objects Histories on the Materiality of Images </i>London:Routledge<i> </i></b><br />Slowly but surely slogging through this...see above<br /><br /><b>Exhibitions attended:</b><br />none<br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-91242544429393166992018-09-24T05:34:00.001-07:002018-09-24T07:49:32.641-07:00PhD-Ness Part 8 Year 2 in a weekly ongoing series - sticking and gluing, experimenting, re-drafting, reading and writing <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_N8v397JcrPw9RxqLkaPeM_inYjBRqtu-syHGiq1m7FwcqCHgCNepBFjcgi3VZOJjxNnb_3b8Dl3e4zrmDCgVb0BItBh4YgqnkGXtQw-M79eFQFjcRITakXjA1aWKlrUvc9y2z_QkzM/s1600/P1020392.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_N8v397JcrPw9RxqLkaPeM_inYjBRqtu-syHGiq1m7FwcqCHgCNepBFjcgi3VZOJjxNnb_3b8Dl3e4zrmDCgVb0BItBh4YgqnkGXtQw-M79eFQFjcRITakXjA1aWKlrUvc9y2z_QkzM/s320/P1020392.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtfqBGnTV_oSfJI-u1Vi5xTtJYZFl_3Vc7q0pCBuRX0f0WsHOVSdxeX8xt7Th5CMF_XOb3MiwP55Tk0Ah50T-JjVGz-xDSNKrnsnW3Ib3_boFBnvy1rbdddon37o3Cta7j9NnwM-s37oA/s1600/P1020391.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtfqBGnTV_oSfJI-u1Vi5xTtJYZFl_3Vc7q0pCBuRX0f0WsHOVSdxeX8xt7Th5CMF_XOb3MiwP55Tk0Ah50T-JjVGz-xDSNKrnsnW3Ib3_boFBnvy1rbdddon37o3Cta7j9NnwM-s37oA/s320/P1020391.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq98ski_tmUgJ0cV-dsYTlOU7WtqEM7u86QzW1gHXf4d_nIw79bnwVNHDK5OrvYUWvanpoAibL37Q4kjfrH69qGck13dRjfVmV606FatUfIEmUH6TeajwE19cDz1X7SnnF5JUc4byQoOE/s1600/P1020394.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq98ski_tmUgJ0cV-dsYTlOU7WtqEM7u86QzW1gHXf4d_nIw79bnwVNHDK5OrvYUWvanpoAibL37Q4kjfrH69qGck13dRjfVmV606FatUfIEmUH6TeajwE19cDz1X7SnnF5JUc4byQoOE/s320/P1020394.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO-VYZveZ4qYAL-OJm2GQ3wP1AlZa9LULoPDC3KXxeI9gQR6HqL8nCm6_BBY0-6Itb_Tk9BAax9JuA9_G7h5D-VXGReNYMFXnA7acwj-ZGKo1oin-4xBrC-cBUCJUw6ZMPT1QhTSnoMUU/s1600/P1020398.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO-VYZveZ4qYAL-OJm2GQ3wP1AlZa9LULoPDC3KXxeI9gQR6HqL8nCm6_BBY0-6Itb_Tk9BAax9JuA9_G7h5D-VXGReNYMFXnA7acwj-ZGKo1oin-4xBrC-cBUCJUw6ZMPT1QhTSnoMUU/s320/P1020398.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br />More image heavy post this week showing bits of what I've been up to - the top picture shows a matte medium image transfer in progress. I'd printed the 35mm image I'd taken of St George's Field on ordinary printer paper, cut it out and also cut a circle of cream muslin and put it in an embroidery hoop. The hoop keeps the material nice and taught. Then I paint a layer of matte medium on the material, then on the cut out image and then put the image on top of the material and smooth it as flat as possible to ensure minimal creases or bubbles. I leave it to dry overnight and then using tepid water make it all damp and then slowly and carefully with my left index finger start to rub away the paper in a circular motion - thereby hopefully leaving the print from the image caught in the layers of matte medium.<br /><br />The second image is also a matte medium image transfer in progress - this time a colour 35mm image I'd taken of Ann Carr's grave on what would have been her 235th birthday when I left a yellow rose on her gravestone as a tribute to her and her work with so called 'fallen' women. Women who had children outside of wedlock were often made to wear yellow in the workhouse as a way of marking them out from other workhouse residents. I have not read of the fathers of these children being made to wear something similar to mark them out.<br /><br />3rd image is of the same image when the paper has been rubbed off for the second time - it usually takes a couple of goes to get as much of it off as possible - all the while trying not to rub so hard that you rub off the image too. Sometimes though the bond between image and material underneath isn't that good - especially around the edges. I am especially careful on those bits but sometimes to no effect. Sometimes it really annoys me when the edge lifts up but other times I think it adds to the image as it a)shows the human touch in the process and b)imitates/recalls the way glass plate negatives can look - either the person painting it missed the edges in the darkroom or it has become damaged over time.<br /><br />Ways round the edges coming up include: only using muslin to transfer images onto as that seemed to grip the image best or making the border of the transferred image a half inch wider and then cutting it out with a neat solid edge...<br /><br />The third image also shows some of the experimenting I've doing with kinetic drawing/mark making on paper which involves putting paper in a tube along with a marking medium, in this case chalk, pastel and crayon. The tube is then sealed and placed at the bottom of my rucksack - these are the results of a walk to Meanwood and back but it's not made much of an impression on any of the papers. So I'm going to ask an artist friend of mine who does these for any tips she might have in the hope of making something more definite - maybe I just need to do it for longer or make the ends of the chalk/pastel/crayon more pointed.<br /><br />The last image shows the finished image transfers - I've rubbed off as much of the paper fibres as possible and added a layer of gloss medium to finish them off. Without it the images can still look quite flat and a little bit fibrous. It also shows this weeks post it note - which as you can see isn't over full but it has been a busy week with quite a lot of reading and doing and listening and seeing and watching.<br /><br />The reading has mostly been of the psychogeographic variety as I have made a start on On Walking by Phil Smith - especially useful as he references The Rings of Saturn by WG Sebald which I (finally) finished last week. Huzzah. I also re read the introduction of Photographs Objects Images edited by Elizabeth Edwards and Janice Hart and I have ploughed a bit more of the way through Adam Bede by George Eliot. I also picked up a copy of Walking Inside Out by Tina Richardson.<br /><br />Part of my rationale for reading these is part recommendation by tutors but also part methodology writing as to write mine up is part of my homework from last weeks supervision along with a redrafted research plan for year 2.<br /><br />It was also the launch of the festival brochure for the Love Arts Festival last week at which I chatted and caught up with folks. I also made a collage which was great fun. It's been a while since I've made something with just the joy of making something in mind as in I wasn't consciously trying hard to create a particular effect or feeling or end result. It felt good. You can find out about all the events, exhibitions and happenings of the festival <a href="http://www.loveartsleeds.co.uk/">here </a> including my contribution Once and Now at Kapow Coffee 15 Thornton's Arcade and fingers crossed the framer will have finished framing them by then so that I'll be able to put them up at the end of the week.<br /><br />So lots of doing of all kinds and I'd best get cracking on with my to do list for this week but first off I need to get something to eat, and to tidy my workroom a bit.</span>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-55020483014464273562018-09-17T09:50:00.003-07:002018-09-17T09:50:51.321-07:00PhD-ness Part 7 in weekly ongoing series - seeing, moving, dead earnings, will requesting, Whitby, help and Giants in Sheffield <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCBCcXJZak-tbovR5w6koCD_sORfyG9t-p5blC-ASutLRV3_xcHScnwjmZXJClOXqsA69yyPtqqj7LxwMb70mQt348_5iUD11RCOZNx5Udav2S7IXPvvjaMkMoFEa4D_44Xsx-mfd-s9M/s1600/P1020386.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCBCcXJZak-tbovR5w6koCD_sORfyG9t-p5blC-ASutLRV3_xcHScnwjmZXJClOXqsA69yyPtqqj7LxwMb70mQt348_5iUD11RCOZNx5Udav2S7IXPvvjaMkMoFEa4D_44Xsx-mfd-s9M/s400/P1020386.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br />Quite a full post it note this week, as well as the big brain dump list I was making in an attempt to make more effective plans for the forthcoming weeks workwise, notes from the Giants of Victorian Photography exhibition I went to see in Sheffield yesterday, a wood effect but plastic hoop given to me on Saturday by Hayley Mills-Styles whilst we were at the launch of her very excellent exhibition <b><i>Archive and Other Stories</i></b> at Whitby Museum in Pannett Park, it's on til 18th November so go and see it if you can - it's heartfelt, beautiful, thought provoking and engaging series of textiles exploring her relationship with the museum, her grandparents,and stitching. Also pictured are the sampler guides I bought from the museum - all three include rather exquisite grave poetry.<br /><br />Last week before attending a fascinating talk given by Dr Ruth Penfold-Mounce at 1 Oxford Place (soon to be reworked into a fancy hotel apparently) I did some work in Leeds Central Library. I went to the art library section on the first floor and aside from someone with the most appalling cough banging big hardback books about for the first 15 minutes I was there - it was mercifully quiet, other than the noise filtering up from outside so a little bit of chatter, traffic and the sound of sirens. I took advantage of this by writing in my journal - just gathering my thoughts really. I keep a day to day diary for appointments and brief details of what I've been up to but my journal I write as and when I'm moved to or have the time. I am a bit ritualistic when it comes to writing it though as it has to be in black ink via fountain pen and I only write on one side of the paper. I used to use a big spiral backed notebook but more recently I've been using smaller more exercise style notebooks as they are easier to fit into my bag, lighter to carry round and quicker to fill.<br /><br />Anyway once I'd finished that I then made a start on what it is I need to be concentrating on this term and what my next steps need to be. I'm very aware it's the start of the new academic year, the autumn term and I am just trying to get geared up for that really. My workroom is still full to bursting but the new bookcases are coming along nicely and once the little room is sorted I'll then be able to move the wardrobe out of my room, put up the new bookcases in its place and then hopefully move the books from the sofa bed (which has been acting as a temporary bookcase for far too long now) and generally rejig my workroom so it's more ergonomic and comfortable to work in and my materials will be easier to access as they'll be visible on the shelves as opposed to hidden at the bottom of various piles. Amazingly though I haven't bought any new stationery for this term - am using some of what I've already got stockpiled. I have however been indulging in halloween tat, I can always find room for another skull.<br /><br />I also found an amazing book called <b><i>The Memory of Time</i></b> by Sandra Greenough and Andrea Nelson which concentrates on the work of the contributors to the exhibition of the same name held in the National Gallery of Art in Washington DC in 2015. It was one of those serendipitous occasions when the book just stood out to me on the shelf as I was passing. I hadn't intended to read anything other than the book I had taken with me - Sebald's <b><i>Rings of Saturn</i></b> which I am still ploughing through. But this book almost called out to me and I am really glad I picked it up and started reading as the themes it covers are very pertinent to my work, I am now working my way through it...as well as still ploughing through Sebald...<br /><br />I also picked up a copy of Capturing The Light by Roger Watson and Helen Rappaport which according to the blurb on the cover is 'a true story of genius, rivalry and the birth of photography' which I am also planning to read over the next few days. I know a little about the invention of photography but I'd like to know more, especially it's such a Victorian era invention. I'm also interested in what role women had in its invention and use.<br /><br />The talk by Dr Ruth Penfold-Mounce was the last in the summer talks hosted by the Leeds Bereavement Network and it was about celebrity dead and the way people interact with them and it also made me think of the Stranglers song '<i>Everybody Loves You When You're Dead</i>'. I was fascinated to learn that Forbes not only have a rich list of live people but they also have a list of dead as in deceased rich people which Michael Jackson has been top of for the last few years. I understood that dead people could pass on their royalties but it seems there are also agencies who represent dead people after buying their persona and then use those dead people to advertise things. Mind well and truly boggled but then again not really - in a capitalist society EVERYTHING is a commodity that can be bought and sold - including the personalities of dead people.<br /><br />This along with just wanting to see actual Victorian era photographs was why I went to see the <b><i>Victorian Giants: The Birth of Art Photography </i></b>at the Millenium Gallery in Sheffield yesterday. It had a basic overview of the wet plate collodion process way to take and make pictures, mostly it focused on some of the surviving works by Lewis Carroll, Oscar Rejlander, Julia Margaret Cameron and Clemetina Hawarden. I was most interested in the work by Rejlander and Hawarden as I have seen images made by Carroll and Cameron before. There were quite a few portraits by Rejlander as well as a copy of one of his most famous combination images (in the days before photoshop images were manually compiled out of individual negatives) Two Ways of Life (1857) which was first exhibited at the Art Treasures Exhibition in Manchester. <br /><br />I had never seen this image before and was slightly surprised by the amount of nudity in it given the time it was made and the fact that it is a photograph and not a painting. It shows a man deciding which of two paths to take - the one consumed with vice and the one leading to virtue. Apparently Price Albert loved it so much after being given a copy by Queen Victoria that he bought three copies of his own. It was very contraversial when it was first shown, it was alleged that the naked women in the photograph were prostitutes plus it was a photograph positioning itself in the same league as painted art. A debate that still goes on today in some quarters. It was lovely to see it in the flesh so to speak - or rather a copy of it. You can see it (or rather another copy of it) for yourself <a href="https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/294822">here</a>.<br /><br />Having recently read becoming: <b><i>The Photographs of Clementina Hawarden </i></b>by Carol Mavor, I was especially interested in seeing her work in all its torn out of an album glory and sure enough all bar one of the edges of her work were rough and torn, only one piece looked as if it had been taken out using either scissors or a scapel, but I didn't see anywhere in the exhibition a mention of this or the possible reasons why.<br /><br />I realised that the images and photographs I was looking at were rarely black and white but sepia, I also loved the signs on them of human intervention - either still visible brush strokes in the collodion or the silver nitrate or in the case of Hawarden the torn edges - though I'm not entirely sure who did the tearing. I wasn't entirely comfortable looking at some of the images - namely some of the ones that Lewis Carroll had taken of children and the wording next to some of the images I found lacking or slightly misleading, for example one which was of Julia's maid talked of the long relationship between Julia and her maid and how they must have understood one another. There was no mention of the impact that being boss and servant might have had on their relationship and no wonder her maid looks so amenable in the photographs - I would too if in case I didn't had a knock on effect on my keeping wages and the roof over my head. Most notable for me on some of Julia's images were the handwritten words 'from life' and 'copyright and then her name - am guessing it was her signature. <br /><br />The exhibition also included personal captions by Kate Windsor (aka Duchess of Cambridge and that is how she is referred to throughout the exhibition) but they didn't add any particular insight or new ideas to research. Instead there was mention of how hard Clementina and Julia must have found it to fit in their photographic work alongside their household running and the fact that they were mothers. I don't doubt they did find it difficult at times but it must have been made easier by having staff whose job it was to do the cooking, cleaning and the looking after children. The only useful thing she added was the explanation that exposures took a much longer time then than they do now as a way of explaining how wonderful the capture of fleeting facial expressions were in some of the photographs and why people look so stern in so many of them.<br /><br />I've been continuing my research into St George's Field and its inhabitants - in part thanks to a perusal on the paperwork available online at the Universitys website, in part thanks to a chum who has a subscription to find my past. I was amazed to discover there used to be a greenhouse at the back of the Chapel in St George's Field. It's detailed on the map from 1967 though so am guessing it must have been built by the university to grow plants for the rest of the campus. I'm hoping that the Borthwick Institute at York University will get back to me soon as to how much it's going to be to have a copy of Ann Carr's will which I'm hoping they still have tucked away safely in a box somewhere.<br /><br />It's been a while since I've written and submitted an abstract for a conference - this one was for the Death and the Sacred conference at Manchester Met at the end of November. I won't hear back though until the end of the month. Fingers crossed I shall be successful.<br /><br /><br /><b>Programmes/Films watched </b><br /><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Mulvey Laura, Woolen Peter
writer/directors 1977 <i>Riddles of the Sphinx</i> UK BFI</span></b><span style="line-height: 115%;"> <br />
A feminist film made by a feminist film maker which is a mix of following a
woman trying to negociate food making, caring for her daughter, leaving her
male partner, getting a job, childcare – all filmed in 360 degree 16mm –
constantly slowly revolving around the scene as opposed to the male gaze of the
close up – split into different sections all labelled at the beginning and
eacvh starting with a bit of text, sometimes with a section about the Sphinx
and close ups of photos of it to a soundtrack of really mesmerising electronic
music by Mike Ratledge who used to be in Soft Machine. Also featured a section
with a woman juggling, doing acrobatics on a rope, and a long section of
someone trying to do one of those hand held puzzles but instead of trying to
put a ball through a maze it was a drop of what appeared to be yellow mercury –
so difficult and frustrating to watch. <br />
A really interesting film.<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--></span><b>Books Read</b><br />Sebald - <i>Rings of Saturn</i> - ongoing<br />also finished the book I was reading for leisure - <b><i>The Future Won't Be Long</i></b> by Jarett Kobek which I really enjoyed. According to the Wall Street Journal 'it's a brilliant recreation of a disappeared New York...' and I have no idea how accurate it is as I have never been there nor was I ever a Club Kid but I enjoyed its two person narrative and descriptions. <br /><br /><br /><b>Exhibitions Attended:<br />Archives and Other Stories by Hayley Mills-Styles Whitby Museum<br />Victorian Giants: The Birth of Art Photography - Millenium Gallery Sheffield - </b>see above for descriptions<b> </b></span>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7140791908713757242.post-71129656700201894742018-09-11T09:18:00.000-07:002018-09-14T07:21:50.513-07:00PhD-Ness Part 6 in weekly ongoing series - thinking, looking, doing, lifting, failing/falling.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvc4kzI9N9rmyJqYgf06rjIJ3KhsOsXyZw12JVSdoI0AU7l827XrJ8hUnGEHMtJSYhs0C597cY5JEUFs0nwkjTA_J8jpymVyt68gMVJuVsVZeqGvmYIYkR-TlnOEQqXZ0b1gLlWF3D3xM/s1600/P1180057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvc4kzI9N9rmyJqYgf06rjIJ3KhsOsXyZw12JVSdoI0AU7l827XrJ8hUnGEHMtJSYhs0C597cY5JEUFs0nwkjTA_J8jpymVyt68gMVJuVsVZeqGvmYIYkR-TlnOEQqXZ0b1gLlWF3D3xM/s400/P1180057.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br />A much fuller post it note this week - though that is also because it was so empty at the end of the previous week I decided to continue writing on it underneath to save paper. <br /><br />Am feeling really tired today though - in part thanks to a training session (am on track to reach my goal of being able to deadlift 80kg by the end of the year*) but mostly in part thanks to a really broken nights sleep which is in danger of becoming a habit again...but it's a habit I really want to break.<br /><br />So what have I been up to over the last seven days - well lots of things including:<br /><br />Being a Victorian era death customs expert for a chum who is researching the lives of some of the men involved with the Franklin expedition (the ill-fated voyage of artic exploration led by John Franklin in 1847 on the ships HMS Erebus and HMS Terror) she had questions re burial practices that I was able to help with, along with the prominent role that organised religion be it conformist or non conformist played in everyday life then.<br /><br />Buying materials - got some more matte medium, some new graphite sticks in different hardnesses and some Halloween pom poms as it's my favourite time of year when the shops are filled with all manner of skull emblazoned goodness and other assorted goodness. The man working on the till in M+S at the station asked me if I was getting ready for Halloween when he saw my bodypart emblazoned bag, skull bracelets and coffin ring to which my reply was 'it's Halloween all year round for me' and he smiled.<br /><br />Taking work for my Once and Now show at Kapow 15 Thortons Arcade from the beginning of October to be framed. I've never had any of my two dimensional work professionally framed before, I've always done it myself with cheap frames from either Wilkos or Ikea. They looked okay and were all I could afford at the time and the plain wooden deep frames from Wilko I'll continue to use as I can paint those the colour I want (black) and fill with collected fallen petals or whatever else fauna-wise I find at the graveyard. It was especially exciting though to try different coloured backing papers for the images I've selected to frame which are mostly greyscale on either tracing paper or acetate. I was initially thinking white but then there are many different shades of white to choose from and in the end I opted for a deep cream backing. A colour which really adds to the images and makes them even more oldy worldy than just being in greyscale does. Am really excited about seeing the end result.<br /><br />Speaking of graveyard finds - pictured above is the piece of wood I found (minus the woodlice which I left behind after scraping them off with a stick) yesterday whilst I was mooching round St George's Field taking pictures and trying and failing to make some kinetic drawings. I have completely fallen in love with its animal skull like shape. I left behind the broken bit of stone that I think had come off a nearby tombstone that had been shorn of its ivy. Part of me really wanted to take it but I wouldn't as that seems really disrespectful to both the person whose memorial it was from (regardless of how long they have been dead) and the people who paid for it to be erected to/for their loved one. If I'm being 100% honest there is also a teeny part of me that has seen and read far too many horror stories involving people taking away things from places that they shouldn't...most notably the short stories by M R James '<i>A Warning To The Curious</i>' and '<i>Whistle And I'll Come To You</i>'.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I hadn't been back to St George's Field since my birthday gathering at the end of July and a lot of vegetation along what I call Obelisk Avenue had been cut back (re- revealing one of my favourite tombs which has <b>BE YEA ALSO READY</b> carved on it alongside two rather beautiful heavenly figures) and the subscription stones which have been laid flat around the chapel have been blasted clean. This has revealed their original pale yellowy stone colour and leaving aside my preference for their previous grey colour I also worry about what kind of potential damage is done when cleaning stone as it can make it more porous and prone to chipping.<br /><br />Anyway I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the piece of wood I found but I did take some pictures of it in situ around the graveyard - using 35mm Ilford XP2 film and my trusty go to Canon SLR. I don't know how they have worked as I've not finished the roll yet (ah the delayed gratification of film) but the kinetic drawings I did didn't work out well at all. I put tracing paper in a drinks bottle (one with a wide neck) along with a couple of pieces of charcoal and then laid it flat at the bottom of my rucksack. The idea being that as you move the pieces of charcoal make marks. I walked along Obelisk Avenue along to the other side to see what was happening around Anne Buttery's grave - I also went to pay my respects at Ann Carr's grave but failed to make much of an impression. Next visit I shall try a narrower tube (a kitchen roll one sealed with masking tape and a different kind of mark marker - maybe chalk, or crayon or graphite marker or pastels and see if that works any better.<br /><br />Speaking of Ann Carr I spent last Thursday holed up amongst the splendour and peace of the Family and History Library reading about her. I had previously scoured the card catalogue for mentions of her and thanks to the as always helpful librarians they brought me all the things I wanted to see. Things like reports from the Temperance Society reports from the 1830's whose title page included '<i>We whose names are subscribed, do voluntarily agree to abstain entirely from the use of distilled spirits, except for medicinal purposes, and although the moderate use of other liquors is not excluded, yet as the promotion of Temperance in ever form is the specific design of the Society, it is understood that excess in these, necessarily excludes from membership'</i>. And each title page also included the following verse from Isiah 5. 22 ' <i>woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink'.</i> I didn't find any mention of her in their reports but I did discover that Edward Baines Senior (one of the founders of St George's Field) was a regular donor to the Temperance Society of the then comparatively huge sum of £1 a year. An online inflation checker transcribes this to be the equivalent of approximately £120 a year now. I wonder where Edward Baines Senior made his money to begin with.<br /><br />Looking through the collected notes and queries columns from the Leeds Mercury compiled in 1893 (a beautiful red fabric bound book with a handwritten index and very neatly pasted in pages with no bits coming adrift) I learned more of Ann's funeral as well as looking upon gems querying the authorship of Wuthering Heights, and the 'old' practice of putting an extinguished candle in a coffin which the book just fell open at as I was browsing through it. I love that kind of serendipitous action.<br /><br />However the gem was a copy originally from Dewsbury Library of <i>Memoirs of the Life and Character of Ann Carr (of Leylands Leeds) Containing An Account Of Her Conversion To God, Her Devoted Labours and Her Happy Death</i> by Martha Williams. Written shortly after Ann's death in January 1841 it contains Martha's memories of Ann as well as some of the people she used to say with in Hull when preaching as well as an appendix containing the Reverend J Rawsons funeral address for her. His funeral oration includes the sentence ' <i>We are gathered round the cold remains of a friend and a sister in Christ</i>.' Not the kind of phrase you'd expect to hear in a modern funeral service. The Reverend Rawson meets a shameful end though as he is sacked for drunkenness on the job.Drunkenness on duty in what was originally a graveyard full of Temperance advocates is beyond the pale. <br /><br />I also attended the first day of the third Fourth World Psychogeography Conference at Huddersfield Uni. It was a fun and thought provoking day. The opening presentations by Dr Anna Davison and artist Lesley Eleanor Wood really made me think about my methodological approach to my studies as well as giving me pointers towards further reading and techniques - it's thanks to Lesley who I had the privilege to meet and get to know as she was on the MA course with me that I am experimenting with kinetic drawing techniques. Anna is making me think about the invisible forces behind places - eg although I know where the money came from for the creation of St George's Field that is shareholders putting up the cash - where did those shareholders get their cash?<br /><br />As ever lots of food for thought......<br /><br /><b>Programmes/Films Watched </b>Morrison B (director) 2016 <i>Dawson City Frozen Time</i> USA Picture Place Pictures<br /><span style="line-height: 115%;">Incredible film which was a documentary about
the discovery and reclamation of loads of silent films from the 1920’s/1930’s
from a filled in pool and bank vault where they had been put as ballast
essentially or just left – because the place they were in Dawson City – the
furthest north bit of the Yukon valley of gold rush infamy was too far for the
film companies to pay for them to be returned plus as it took them almost two
years sometimes to get that far north in the first place. <br /><br />Really detailed
overview of creation of film – hadn’t really realised it was essentially an explosive
as it was thanks to gun cotton. It also covered the history of the Yukon gold rush, the displacement of indigenous peoples and the cultural assimilation of some and of course Dawson City
itself in all its wooden regularly needing to rebuilt because of fires glory – all interspersed with restored clips from the films found in the
ground. Apparently something like only 25% of silent films still exist. Also
sad moments like the description of the death of mostly women and children in
wooden cinema fire, and moment when glass plate negatives by Hegg were found in
walls of cabin and new owner asked what was best way to get emulsion off so
they could be used to make a greenhouse!! Thankfully the person they asked
saw/knew value of the images and they gave them brand new glass. Hegg was main
photographer in Dawson City. It was also a bit of a love story as the discoverer and
museum archivist met and fell in love and got married. <br /><br />
Beautifully mesmerising soundtrack too by Alex Somers – who also works with
Sigor Ross. But did find it difficult to stay awake at times – and it was also the first
film of the autumn where I went to the cinema in broad daylight and left two hours
later in the dark - definitely worth a rewatch.</span><br /><br /><b>Books Read</b><br />Still ploughing my way through Sebald's Rings of Saturn and absolutely loving it,am loving the style of writing but am finding some of the description of slaughter, war, exploitation and holocaust harrowing to read. If you compare the amount of post it notes in the picture above compared to last weeks you'll see the progress I'm making.<br /><br /><br /><b>Exhibitions Attended</b><br />none - but got plenty lined up to go and see including this <a href="https://hayleymillsstyles.com/">one </a>.<br /><br /><br />* I really like the definiteness of weightlifting - as opposed to the indefiniteness of academia and artmaking at times...and I lifted 65kg from the block this morning so am on target for reaching my goal of being able to deadlift 80kg by the end of the year. </span>ladylugosihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03645377727581425914noreply@blogger.com0